Correcting Other Catholics

[Caritas]

I wasn't sure where to post this, and if it would be better somewhere else, a mod can feel free to move it. Thanks

I am just wondering what our role as faithful Catholics is pertaining to other Catholics and sin. When should a friend 'correct,' so to speak, the behavior of another Catholic? I know this might not be very clear, and if you PM I can tell you the situations that are prompting the question. Thank you!

[cmotherofpirl]

[quote name='Caritas' timestamp='1284056186' post='2170922']
I wasn't sure where to post this, and if it would be better somewhere else, a mod can feel free to move it. Thanks

I am just wondering what our role as faithful Catholics is pertaining to other Catholics and sin. When should a friend 'correct,' so to speak, the behavior of another Catholic? I know this might not be very clear, and if you PM I can tell you the situations that are prompting the question. Thank you!
[/quote]
A lot of it depends on who it is, how they are related to you and if they are doing whatever it is in front of you, or asking you to condone their behavior.

[MithLuin]

Any correction should be done privately, without an audience.

If you have a concern, pull the person aside and share your concerns charitably. If you are in a position of authority (a parent, teacher, boss, etc) you have a natural role of correcting unsavory behavior and telling the person to shape up. But, if it's a peer, then....

You have to say you are bringing this topic up out of concern for the other person. You don't want them to get hurt or to damage themselves or whatever. From that perspective, it is easier to share your unsolicited advice.

Does that help?

[CatherineM]

There is a passage in the New Testament that specifically says how you should handle it. I'm out of town, and don't even have a bible with me, and can't for the life of me remember where it is at. One of the letters.

[Caritas]

[quote name='CatherineM' timestamp='1284074912' post='2171117']
There is a passage in the New Testament that specifically says how you should handle it. I'm out of town, and don't even have a bible with me, and can't for the life of me remember where it is at. One of the letters.
[/quote]

Is this what you are thinking of?

"If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over. But if he will not listen, take one or two others along, so that ‘every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.’ If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, treat him as you would a pagan or a tax collector" (Matt 18:15-17).

[Caritas]

Anyway, thanks for your responses. If that is the Bible passage, I am not thinking of sins against me. This is not the situation, but say a friends is Catholic, goes to Mass and genuinely tries to have a relationship with Christ, but uses contraception (and believes Church teaching is wrong on the matter, thus believing, in a sense, that he/she is not doing any wrong). As a faithful Catholic, would one have an obligation to talk with the friend about it?

[CatherineM]

Yeah, that's what I was thinking of.

I don't think you have an obligation exactly, but I would consider it a heroic virtue to try. It is harder to find the courage to stand up to a friend than it is to stand up to a family member in a lot of ways. It does no good to talk to them about what the rules are, they know them, they just don't agree. You have to approach it by explaining why the rule is there, and what kind of pay offs come from following the rule.

[little_miss_late]

I guess a lot of it would depend on your personality and your relationship with that person. For example, say you have a close friend or relative who skips Mass on Sundays. You can probably have a conversation with them about it, but maybe you couldn't have that conversation with a co-worker. Also, some people would be able to drop that into a conversation in a way that gets the point across but doesn't turn into a fight. Some other people might turn it into a huge dramatic conversation of its own.

[TeresaBenedicta]

I'm running into this problem in the parish, as well. There are certain things that my co-workers... well, anyways. I'm struggling to find the prudent and wise way of dealing with some things being taught that simply aren't correct. These are good, honest, and sincere people. But wrong, on certain matters. And it's necessary to preach the truth of the Gospel. How? I'm still working that one out.

[Brother Adam]

It is a spiritual work of mercy to admonish the sinner, so in that sense it is important for you to correct your friend that as a Catholic they are nor free to reject the Churches teaching. However, recognize the opportunity in their doubt and make sure they know it is okay to ask questions. Our job is to seek out why the Church believes about contraception as it does because the Church speaks with the mind of Christ. When we doubt Christ and His Church we must keep seeking until we understand and obey the teaching until we understand for our own salvation.

[little_miss_late]

[quote name='TeresaBenedicta' timestamp='1284185362' post='2171762']
I'm running into this problem in the parish, as well. There are certain things that my co-workers... well, anyways. I'm struggling to find the prudent and wise way of dealing with some things being taught that simply aren't correct. These are good, honest, and sincere people. But wrong, on certain matters. And it's necessary to preach the truth of the Gospel. How? I'm still working that one out.
[/quote]

I can relate to this. And I don't work in the parish. It is tough for sure.

[Caritas]

[quote name='TeresaBenedicta' timestamp='1284185362' post='2171762']
I'm running into this problem in the parish, as well. There are certain things that my co-workers... well, anyways. I'm struggling to find the prudent and wise way of dealing with some things being taught that simply aren't correct. These are good, honest, and sincere people. But wrong, on certain matters. And it's necessary to preach the truth of the Gospel. How? I'm still working that one out.
[/quote]

This is exactly how I feel. It's more complicated than just whether or not to give guidance. Like you said, the 'how' is the really difficult question. It is especially hard when the message won't be received well, even when given with gentleness and charity. I guess it's definitely something to bring to prayer.

[Caritas]

[quote name='little_miss_late' timestamp='1284181002' post='2171757']
I guess a lot of it would depend on your personality and your relationship with that person. For example, say you have a close friend or relative who skips Mass on Sundays. You can probably have a conversation with them about it, but maybe you couldn't have that conversation with a co-worker. Also, some people would be able to drop that into a conversation in a way that gets the point across but doesn't turn into a fight. Some other people might turn it into a huge dramatic conversation of its own.
[/quote]


[quote name='Brother Adam' timestamp='1284206179' post='2171819']
It is a spiritual work of mercy to admonish the sinner, so in that sense it is important for you to correct your friend that as a Catholic they are nor free to reject the Churches teaching. However, recognize the opportunity in their doubt and make sure they know it is okay to ask questions. Our job is to seek out why the Church believes about contraception as it does because the Church speaks with the mind of Christ. When we doubt Christ and His Church we must keep seeking until we understand and obey the teaching until we understand for our own salvation.
[/quote]

Thanks so much for both of your replies. I just need to find the right way to go about it. I think if I told the exact situations I'm thinking of, it would be helpful, but I just don't feel comfortable making them completely public. Anyway, I will keep these things in mind

[Sarah147]

Very good point about doing it in private. That has missed my mind a few times. This is something I've pondered, as far as correction of Catholics. But if it's not sin, if it's rather an observance or something recommended, but not an obligation, then perhaps it isn't so important to keep private, but I suppose it should be private out of respect. But, if it was done publicly and is affecting others, even Non-Catholics, perhaps something public should be mentioned. Hmm...

[LouisvilleFan]

[quote name='Caritas' timestamp='1284078130' post='2171144']
Anyway, thanks for your responses. If that is the Bible passage, I am not thinking of sins against me. This is not the situation, but say a friends is Catholic, goes to Mass and genuinely tries to have a relationship with Christ, but uses contraception (and believes Church teaching is wrong on the matter, thus believing, in a sense, that he/she is not doing any wrong). As a faithful Catholic, would one have an obligation to talk with the friend about it?
[/quote]

I was going to raise the same conversation with a couple that I'm good friends with from college, but as it turns out praying for them was enough. They were converted through a Catholic radio station that got them curious about learning more about the Church both of them were raised in, and came around on their own without me ever raising an awkward topic

Now, if I was going to bring up the topic of contraception, I'd suggest first sharing what you have learned about the sacrament and vocation of marriage. Obviously it needs to be a good time and probably helps to find some roundabout way into the topic (maybe mention a talk you just heard about marriage, theology of the body, etc). In other words, sharing the Gospel with someone doesn't go far if they aren't interested in hearing it. It's also good to have something you can offer them to hear on their own time. Christopher West has a great 45 min talk on "Marriage & the Eucharist" that you get can free [url="http://www.catholicity.com/cds/west.html"]here[/url]. I'm sure there are plenty others... I've heard Fr. Thomas Loya is excellent.

Most of all, pray for the opportunity to share and if God grants it, awesome; if not, then He apparently has other means planned for them.