Micah Posted September 2, 2010 Share Posted September 2, 2010 (edited) Well we had the wedding tonight and its 2 am and im back from the party and i dont care about grammar (but I can still type). This is a serious post and I didnt know where else to post it. A girl at the wedding tonight asked me to help her collect her stuff in the brides room and she kissed me..etc. And I feel really horrible, like I betrayed my chastity and my heart, because im trying to stay as pure as possible until I find a nice Catholic girl. And its not like anything really BAD happened at all, and my dad hustled in there about 10 seconds later, but i feel horrible and wrong, and kind of blech in my own skin. [img]http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/public/style_emoticons/default/mellow.gif[/img] and I need to hear from some chaste people and traditional gentlemen. Edited September 2, 2010 by Micah Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AccountDeleted Posted September 2, 2010 Share Posted September 2, 2010 If your behavior was influenced by alcohol, then that is probably a good lesson to you to be careful about how much you drink (or whether you should drink at all). Our inhibitions are lessened under the influence, and if you seriously want to remain chaste, then consider alcohol as an obstacle to that goal. If you were not under the influence, then do an examen of conscience to see what factors might have led to this unwanted behavior, go to confession when you can, make a firm intention not to repeat the mistake, and then forgive yourself as God forgives you. Even St Paul said that he did things he did not want to do and didn't do the things he wanted to.... we are all human. Live and learn and try not to repeat the error. Feeling a little bit bad is good because repentence can modify unwanted behavior, but don't become overwhelmed by it or you will let the devil steal your peace of soul. Prayers for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hilde Posted September 2, 2010 Share Posted September 2, 2010 Well whatever "kissed me etc" mean, and I don't know how passive you were, or how drunk you were. Maybe you're only learning what alcohol does to you, in which case I recommend trying it out in smaller groups with people you know. And I don't think kissing someone is so horrible bad, but I can understand why you feel blech lol. I wouldn't like it if my first and maybe only kiss was with some random guy while under the influence. Yes I daid it, I'm unkissed. A buy asked once, but I said no becuause he had che[u]e[/u]ese doodles all around his mouth. I was 6.[img]http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/public/style_emoticons/default/saint.gif[/img] And what nunsense said. [img]http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/public/style_emoticons/default/saint.gif[/img] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MithLuin Posted September 2, 2010 Share Posted September 2, 2010 People who consider making out with strangers to be no big deal are often not terribly concerned about chastity. Not suggesting anything inappropriate/sinful happened, but I agree that if you are concerned about it, that's a good thing. It's part of human nature (concupiscience) to want to take advantage of other people when the opportunity presents itself. Reacting to being kissed has plenty to do with hormones. The goal is to make sure you always view each person you see/meet as a child of God, and not treat a person as an object. So, feeling bad about taking advantage of the situation is your conscience getting to you. My sister's first kiss was being cornered by a guy at a party. She did [i]not[/i] want it, but did not know how to push him away 'politely.' She was alone with him because the others were playing 'light as a feather, stiff as a board' and she'd opted out of that. When I found out what had happened, I gave the guy death glares and dirty looks for a week (we were all in high school at the time). If my sister had had an older brother, he could have punched the guy, but as it was, the message went out to the school that guys should steer clear of my sister. I had to chase a couple of other no good players away too (my sister is quite pretty). She did not thank me for that at the time! But it all turned out well in the end, and she is happily married now (to the first guy she really dated - though she had to wait until after high school graduation to meet him!). So, holding out for the real thing is certainly worth it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maggyie Posted September 2, 2010 Share Posted September 2, 2010 (edited) Awwww... honestly I think it's kind of sweet. She obviously had a bit of a crush on you and wanted to see if you liked her too. Do you like her back? I assume you didn't drunkenly slobber each other's face off for five minutes at a time. Maybe I am in the minority but I think kisses can be chaste if deployed properly. If you did make out, well that's not a good thing. But if it was a sweet, more tender or nervous-like kiss, I honestly don't see too much wrong with it. It's not the kind of thing that should happen too often (kissing people you don't have a courtship relationship with) but sometimes it does happen and sometimes it signals the beginning of a relationship! It never happened to me but I have always had a reputation in school as someone who was proud of holding the V card (which I am) and most of the boys around here were not interested in girls they couldn't have in other ways. Now I have snagged my Prince Charming and I don't have that problem anymore I would take it to confession, but I think given various circumstances your culpability could be quite low. Don't be surprised if the priest doesn't focus on this part of your confession. Edited September 2, 2010 by Maggie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vee Posted September 2, 2010 Share Posted September 2, 2010 If your dad showed up ten seconds later Im going to guess that nothing beyond a kiss happened so God was looking out for you. Like others said examine your conscience, go to confession, and learn from the situation. Oh and pray for that girl too! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Micah Posted September 2, 2010 Author Share Posted September 2, 2010 Thanks for your input, I read everyone's responses and I think Ill be staying away from alcohol for awhile. Im not a heavy drinker, but everyone was making toasts and it was like toast cheers toast cheers toast cheers carry on. It wasnt a schoolyard kiss (maggie lol) and next time I'll be prepared to politely stop the situation, and I do think that not making out with strangers is important, because then thats all you think about when your mind should be on God, except when you have a wife... thats okay. Im going to confession tmr morning because Im done like dinner, and im just really happy everything from this past week is done. I got the chance to unpack my Bible and last night, and my friend is driving down to nevada for a week, so Ill have a nice relaxing week in an empty apartment before school starts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MithLuin Posted September 2, 2010 Share Posted September 2, 2010 Just as a point of clarification, having a wife is not an excuse for lust or from being distracted from God. Just so you know..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CatherineM Posted September 2, 2010 Share Posted September 2, 2010 I distract my husband. I guess not from God, but certainly when he is supposed to be working. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IcePrincessKRS Posted September 2, 2010 Share Posted September 2, 2010 [quote name='CatherineM' timestamp='1283461867' post='2167162'] I distract my husband. I guess not from God, but certainly when he is supposed to be working. [/quote] I'm going to go ahead and say that I think that is indicative of you guys having a really healthy marriage. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dUSt Posted September 2, 2010 Share Posted September 2, 2010 Would an "eww" be appropriate here? Not quite sure... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sarah147 Posted September 2, 2010 Share Posted September 2, 2010 (edited) You've gotten some great advice. I'd be very bothered by something like, too. I'd feel invaded and taken advantage of. When we fall, we come to better learn our weaknesses, and we learn better steps to take to avoid falling into the same or deeper sins. It sure grows us in humility, too. I think it will take a Priest to tell if it even was a sin. Edited September 2, 2010 by JoyfulLife Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Micah Posted September 3, 2010 Author Share Posted September 3, 2010 [quote name='MithLuin' timestamp='1283459484' post='2167129'] Just as a point of clarification, having a wife is not an excuse for lust or from being distracted from God. Just so you know..... [/quote] I know. :] the sentence was just badly structured. [color=#595959][font=arial, verdana, sans-serif][size=4][quote]You've gotten some great advice. I'd be very bothered by something like, too. I'd feel invaded and taken advantage of. When we fall, we come to better learn our weaknesses, and we learn better steps to take to avoid falling into the same or deeper sins. It sure grows us in humility, too. I think it will take a Priest to tell if it even was a sin.[/quote][/size][/font][/color] [color=#595959][font=arial, verdana, sans-serif][size=4] [/size][/font][/color] [color=#595959][font=arial, verdana, sans-serif][size=4]Ive learned alot from this. I was thinking about King David and King Solomon and their great weakness when it come to lust, so its obviously something to be dealt with. I dont know if it was a sin, but I just want absolution. Early morning Mass woowoo.[/size][/font][/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Micah Posted September 3, 2010 Author Share Posted September 3, 2010 [quote name='dUSt' timestamp='1283465011' post='2167190'] Would an "eww" be appropriate here? Not quite sure... [/quote] better be safe than sorry Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tinytherese Posted September 4, 2010 Share Posted September 4, 2010 Perhaps I'm misunderstanding you, but it sounds as if this kiss happened against your will, which wouldn't be your fault. Speaking as someone who has been sexually harassed multiple times, I know that there can sometimes we might feel dirty or ashamed by it even though we were innocent. If that was the case, then you have no sin to confess. I suggest that you take quiet time in prayer and ask the Holy Spirit to help you discern on this issue and to listen to Him. If you need to see a priest still, then go ahead to set your conscience at ease. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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