Leaving Younger Siblings

[elizabeth09]

I will have to leave behind a sister who may not remember me much. She is just 7 months now, but when I enter, it will be differnct for her. I also leave behind my other sisters and bothers.

[vee]

St Therese was the youngest of her family and had to watch her older sisters go off to the convent which was hard for her since after her mom died they were like a second mom to her especially Pauline I think it was. Therese survived however and turned out ok haha! So thinking of her family perhaps those of you entering or considering entering, you never know someday your younger siblings might follow you into religious life, even the same community.... you could even end up as their superior like Pauline was to Therese. Wouldnt that be wild!

[img]http://www.catholicfoundationdop.org/carmel.jpg[/img]

Standing are Celine and Pauline seated are the prioress (who wasnt related) and Marie and Therese.
Celine was older than Therese but entered after her due to taking care of their ill father so is the white veiled novice. I forget but Therese might have been her novice mistress. Imagine having your younger sister be your novice mistress. Poor Celine hahaha!

[spoiler] hahaha [/spoiler]

[MissScripture]

[quote name='JTheresa' timestamp='1283228109' post='2165773']
I am definitely on the same boat. I am leaving to enter in about 5 days, and I have three younger sisters: one is 16 (she has been my best friend my whole life) one is 9 and the youngest is 2 1/2. I dont really have advice because I am experiencing the same feeling of being torn. The age gap between me and the youngest two is really large so I knew no matter what I did I was going to miss out. But for my 16 yr old sister... man its hard thinking about everything that I'll miss. I wont be there for her first date, or her senior prom to help her pick out her dress and do her hair, or be there for her graduation ceremony. I wont be able to help her decorate her dorm for college, or be able to give her tips on how to keep away all the guys that I know will be after her. I am her only older sibling and so I feel very responsible for her in a huge sisterly way. Its going to be really hard saying good-bye to her in less than a week.
[/quote]
I'm in the opposite boat. Not only is it my sister who joined, but she's younger than me. And because of that, now I don't get to do all those things I had always kind of figured we'd do together, but never really thought about until I know I don't get to do them --like going shopping, and leaving my (currently purely hypothetical) kids with their aunt and all sorts of things. No more looooong phone calls. And it's kind of rough from this perspective, too. As a friend whose older sister joined a convent told me, "It's a family sacrifice, not just hers." And that's true (thought it is with marriage as well). But be assured, you won't be forgotten in the convent! I'm sure your sister will think of you often! (I actually have a card I need to send my sister that says on the front, "If you knew how much I think of you..." and on the inside, "You'd feel totally hugged!") I try to make sure to write to her everything that I would tell her if we were talking on the phone.
Remind your sister/family that every time they go to Mass, even though you aren't there physically, you went to Mass, as well, so you're with them! My sister also taught me how to pray the Liturgy of the Hours, this summer, and I promised that I'd try to pray that every day, so we are "together" while praying that, too. Maybe you could do something like that with your sister? And just remember how much you can do for your family through prayer! And I'm sure your sister will be proud to tell people that her big sister is in the convent! It's a bittersweet time. I would also suggest occasionally writing to her about some random, crazy memory that you have with her that only the really makes sense to the two of you, so she knows that no matter what, you're still her big sister and love her just the way you always have.

[quote name='vee8' timestamp='1283275117' post='2165930']
St Therese was the youngest of her family and had to watch her older sisters go off to the convent which was hard for her since after her mom died they were like a second mom to her especially Pauline I think it was. Therese survived however and turned out ok haha! So thinking of her family perhaps those of you entering or considering entering, you never know someday your younger siblings might follow you into religious life, even the same community.... you could even end up as their superior like Pauline was to Therese. Wouldnt that be wild!

[img]http://www.catholicfoundationdop.org/carmel.jpg[/img]

Standing are Celine and Pauline seated are the prioress (who wasnt related) and Marie and Therese.
Celine was older than Therese but entered after her due to taking care of their ill father so is the white veiled novice. I forget but Therese might have been her novice mistress. Imagine having your younger sister be your novice mistress. Poor Celine hahaha!

[spoiler] hahaha [/spoiler]
[/quote]
Well said!

[ameliabedelia]

aww that you guys soo much. thought i was the only one dealing with this. i guess we just have to remember that we are setting a good example for them. even if they dont understand now they will later.
[img]http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/public/style_emoticons/default/nunpray.gif[/img]

[JTheresa]

[quote name='MissScripture' timestamp='1283293776' post='2166061']
I'm in the opposite boat. Not only is it my sister who joined, but she's younger than me. And because of that, now I don't get to do all those things I had always kind of figured we'd do together, but never really thought about until I know I don't get to do them --like going shopping, and leaving my (currently purely hypothetical) kids with their aunt and all sorts of things. No more looooong phone calls. And it's kind of rough from this perspective, too. As a friend whose older sister joined a convent told me, "It's a family sacrifice, not just hers." And that's true (thought it is with marriage as well). But be assured, you won't be forgotten in the convent! I'm sure your sister will think of you often! (I actually have a card I need to send my sister that says on the front, "If you knew how much I think of you..." and on the inside, "You'd feel totally hugged!") I try to make sure to write to her everything that I would tell her if we were talking on the phone.
Remind your sister/family that every time they go to Mass, even though you aren't there physically, you went to Mass, as well, so you're with them! My sister also taught me how to pray the Liturgy of the Hours, this summer, and I promised that I'd try to pray that every day, so we are "together" while praying that, too. Maybe you could do something like that with your sister? And just remember how much you can do for your family through prayer! And I'm sure your sister will be proud to tell people that her big sister is in the convent! It's a bittersweet time. I would also suggest occasionally writing to her about some random, crazy memory that you have with her that only the really makes sense to the two of you, so she knows that no matter what, you're still her big sister and love her just the way you always have.
[/quote]

Thanks MS. I must say, I was looking forward to your response, because I knew that your sister just entered, and you were really close with her. It seems like we have almost the same situation, definitely similar feelings, but flipped, as you said. And i like the random crazy memory idea. We have so many its ridiculous!! we cant even bring up our inside jokes around our friends because they are too crazy to explain!!

[MissScripture]

[quote name='JTheresa' timestamp='1283310525' post='2166158']
Thanks MS. I must say, I was looking forward to your response, because I knew that your sister just entered, and you were really close with her. It seems like we have almost the same situation, definitely similar feelings, but flipped, as you said. And i like the random crazy memory idea. We have so many its ridiculous!! we cant even bring up our inside jokes around our friends because they are too crazy to explain!!
[/quote]
I was thinking about it, because I want to do the same for my sister, since I've teased her about how she's going to do or say something really odd because of one of our inside jokes and everyone will just turn and look at her like she's insane. Also, even knowing how much my sister loves me, it was nice to hear her tell me I'd always be her favorite sister.

[AccountDeleted]

One of the hard things for those entering convents is giving up the little family 'inside jokes' and shared history, but this does start to develop with the community over time, like any family.

The opposite side of course is the pain for the family being left behind, they lose a part of themselves, no way to get around that really. And the person who has left misses out on all the 'new' shared family history and jokes.

All in all, it is a very painful process, a bit like giving birth, but the joy of the new life somehow makes it all worthwhile in the end for the one entering, and for the family left behind there are innumerable graces as well, but these are not always apparent at first glance. The most important one, of course, is that it can lead to a greater closeness with God on the part of those left behind, as they rely on Him more for comfort.

Sacrifice is painful... for everyone involved, Remember how Our Blessed Mother must have felt when her Son left her to return to the the Father and ask her to intercede for everyone in your family, and for you as well. Jesus can deny her nothing.

prayers for you all