Indwelling Trinity Posted August 21, 2010 Share Posted August 21, 2010 My Dearst Friends: How i love and care so deeply for each of you. I want to humbly thank you for all your prayers. God in His infinite mercy has seen fit to hear them. I am home now and beginning to eat baby food by mouth after not being able to eat or drink anything for going on six months and after 13 hospitalizations. My heart is so full not only with love and gratiude but the desire to share with you some of the things i have learned on this very difficult but beautiful journey. However i don't wish to force myself on anyone. I cannot even begin to express to you the joy of belonging totally to Jesus; sometimes even amidst tears of pain and seeming abandonment by God. On days when my courage waned and all i wanted to do was run away, it is your prayer and Gods grace that allowed me to hold on even if only by a single thread to faith in his Love. Oh Lord you have seduced me, and i have been seduced". And ... Lord to whom else can we go?" Even at deaths door receiving lasts rights i could not regret having chosen Jesus. I knew not where the journey would lead but in the darkness i begged Him to remain faithful to the end. It is a scary journey i must admit, but when my Mother prioress explained to me what was happening, my soul knew peace amidst the pain and yes tear;. and what grew in my heart was the desire only to abandon myself to his love and allow him to purify and transform me into his image anyway he willed. The call to religious life and belonging totally to Jesus is an awesome journey as step by step he leads us ever deeper into his heart. All we need is the desire to give ourselves totally up to him and what we may have begun by our own efforts in following him eventually becomes a passionate love affair with the God of all loving. Little by little he begins to take control and we learn to let go and allow ourselves to fall into His hands. There will be valleys and hills, times upon the mountain and times of seemingly endless darkness as he slowly purifies our love and frees it of all desire for self satisfaction and consolation. Instead placing in our heart only desire to be transformed into the beloved. Yet to do so we must enter the fire... and allow Him to remold us... it is not easy and takes a veritable lifetime but ultimately it is His grace working in us that accomplishes what we of ourselves cannot even begin to approach. "I am the potter..you are the clay". Let us hold still beneath his hand. In time you will come to a prayer that you cannot even comprehend for it is He that is praying in you. How i wish to embrace each of you and take you with me on this beautiful journey of love... and so i pray that God may grace each of you with a passionate love for Him that you may always know the fullness if His love and rejoice in loving Him wherever he may choose to take you on the journey. Let Him transform you into fire! Open yourself to utter that "fiat" of Our mother Mary and always be grateful that He has loved you soul so much to call you to be His alone! I love you all very tenderly, Indwelling Trinity Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marie-Therese Posted August 21, 2010 Share Posted August 21, 2010 Oh Sister, I am so glad to hear of your improvement!! Deo Gratias! Your perseverance and faithful love of Our Saviour will be well rewarded. May Our Lady continue to hold you under her mantle as she keeps you close in the shadow of the Cross. I continue to hold you in prayer! You have my love and admiration. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vee Posted August 21, 2010 Share Posted August 21, 2010 Hmmm how shall I put this dear Sister? Oh I know! [size="6"]AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!![/size] [size="5"]*BIGHUG*[/size] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Indwelling Trinity Posted August 21, 2010 Author Share Posted August 21, 2010 [quote name='Marie-Therese' timestamp='1282419943' post='2161145'] Oh Sister, I am so glad to hear of your improvement!! Deo Gratias! Your perseverance and faithful love of Our Saviour will be well rewarded. May Our Lady continue to hold you under her mantle as she keeps you close in the shadow of the Cross. I continue to hold you in prayer! You have my love and admiration. [/quote] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Indwelling Trinity Posted August 21, 2010 Author Share Posted August 21, 2010 (edited) [quote name='Marie-Therese' timestamp='1282419943' post='2161145'] Oh Sister, I am so glad to hear of your improvement!! Deo Gratias! Your perseverance and faithful love of Our Saviour will be well rewarded. May Our Lady continue to hold you under her mantle as she keeps you close in the shadow of the Cross. I continue to hold you in prayer! You have my love and admiration. [/quote] My dearest sister... in times like these we learn to love and embrace our complete poverty and nothingness. to say I a nothing is not poor self esteem nor parading holiness... for i have none. I have seen that every good work i have ever done has been stained with self love and truly in my heart i have learned of my nothingness but rather than despair i rejoice in going to God with empty hands trusting in His merciful love to provide what i lack, for everything we have and are is first given to us as gift from an infinitely loving God. With knowledge of this, everything then becomes grace. I am the runt of the carmelites for sure! laughing.... and happy to be so! Edited August 21, 2010 by Indwelling Trinity Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Indwelling Trinity Posted August 21, 2010 Author Share Posted August 21, 2010 [quote name='vee8' timestamp='1282420192' post='2161148'] Hmmm how shall I put this dear Sister? Oh I know! [size="6"]AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH! !!!!!!!!! [/size] [size="5"]*BIGHUG*[/size] [/quote] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Indwelling Trinity Posted August 21, 2010 Author Share Posted August 21, 2010 (edited) Runs to my little Carmelite sis........ BIG HUG! swings you around in the air! Edited August 21, 2010 by Indwelling Trinity Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Indwelling Trinity Posted August 21, 2010 Author Share Posted August 21, 2010 That big hug was for you V-8! i just cant seem to correct my posts without them showing up twice:furious: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JTheresa Posted August 21, 2010 Share Posted August 21, 2010 Thank you so much for those encouraging words, Sister. They have been very comforting as I wait for the huge turn that my life is about to take. I don't know where this journey of becoming His and His alone will take me, but the sheer thought of Him using me in any way that He pleases for the sanctification of souls should fill me with pure joy. Right now seems to be a dim valley, and your words were a beautiful ray of sunlight. Thank you so much. Prayers for you and for your continued healing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Indwelling Trinity Posted August 21, 2010 Author Share Posted August 21, 2010 [quote name='JTheresa' timestamp='1282422896' post='2161172'] Thank you so much for those encouraging words, Sister. They have been very comforting as I wait for the huge turn that my life is about to take. I don't know where this journey of becoming His and His alone will take me, but the sheer thought of Him using me in any way that He pleases for the sanctification of souls should fill me with pure joy. Right now seems to be a dim valley, and your words were a beautiful ray of sunlight. Thank you so much. Prayers for you and for your continued healing. [/quote] My dearest sister... since my confirmation in the fourth grade i anted to be a religious but when the time came i went through aperiod whee i was no longer attracted to religious life. Yet as that child i had promised Jesus to be His own. I literally forced myself to enter with no feelings or consolations. From the day of my entrance on my heart knew great joy in being called to him. I saw how he cannot be outdone in genreosity. Now thirty four years later. I am still haapy about the choice i made. Consolations dont always make the vocation. It is love in the will. tenderly, your little carmelite sister Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OnlySunshine Posted August 21, 2010 Share Posted August 21, 2010 Words cannot express how much reading what you wrote spoke to my heart. You speak like the Carmelite saints that I have intense admiration and respect for. They experience what I cannot comprehend, but I am entranced by their writings. Although I am 100% Dominican, I think I am influenced somewhat by the Carmelites. I will continue to pray for your recovery. May God bless you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Indwelling Trinity Posted August 21, 2010 Author Share Posted August 21, 2010 [quote name='MaterMisericordiae' timestamp='1282425743' post='2161195'] Words cannot express how much reading what you wrote spoke to my heart. You speak like the Carmelite saints that I have intense admiration and respect for. They experience what I cannot comprehend, but I am entranced by their writings. Although I am 100% Dominican, I think I am influenced somewhat by the Carmelites. I will continue to pray for your recovery. May God bless you! [/quote] It is a funny thing... but the same goes for me..... OHM St Teresa is more of a guide on how to get there, OHF St John is a guide to tell you where you are once you get there and one reaches a certain point in ones life. Then all of a sudden His poetry makes Perfect sense especially when it comes to the dark night of the spirit and of the senses. This Reverend Mother opened up to me while i was sick and having been there herself she could see what i was unable too see in my pain. I found in her a safe and sure guide which brought consolation to my parched soul. I have a wonderful prioress. But one doesnt remain in one for long as the darkness once again ensues as God continues to work in a hidden way in ones soul. You get to a point that you just cant put it into words because it becomes ineffable and something so personal between the soul and God that one is want to speak of it. That is why i speak of it only in generalities. Not everything is meant to be shared. I find the same with my favorite Blessed Elizabeth of the Trinity. Only slowly is the profoundness of her writing revealed especially when she speaks of doing ones purgatory in His love. Like our Holy Father St John, She is speaking of the dark nights of purification where the soul is worked upon in dryness and darkness in order to be tranformed like wood which first smolders then dries in the purgation of the spirit and senses before it can take on the attributes of fire or union with the beloved leading to mystical marriage. But this total purgation takes years to complete and can only be accomplished by god in the soul bringing one into dark contemplation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vee Posted August 21, 2010 Share Posted August 21, 2010 (edited) [quote name='Indwelling Trinity' timestamp='1282421339' post='2161160'] Runs to my little Carmelite sis........ BIG HUG! swings you around in the air! [/quote] Hahahahaha! If I make it to heaven I will take that hug and you'll probably stand a better chance of lifting me there too! Also Im just a regular Jane pew sitter, Im not even enrolled in the scapular, and if you are the runt of the Carmelite litter then theres no hope for me! edited to add smiley Edited August 21, 2010 by vee8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Indwelling Trinity Posted August 21, 2010 Author Share Posted August 21, 2010 [quote name='vee8' timestamp='1282427789' post='2161210'] Hahahahaha! If I make it to heaven I will take that hug and you'll probably stand a better chance of lifting me there too! Also Im just a regular Jane pew sitter, Im not even enrolled in the scapular, and if you are the runt of the Carmelite litter then theres no hope for me! wanna bet? when Mother Teresa would see me when i was a young novice she would just smile shake her head and say sister what am i going to do with you? edited to add smiley [/quote] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vee Posted August 21, 2010 Share Posted August 21, 2010 (edited) Just to let you know Sister we have a Vocation Station chat room now so if you are interested feel free to come by. People are usually in there around 8-10pm central time or any time really. You dont have to register or anything just log on using your phatmass nickname. Here is the link if you ever want to come by and if you dont thats ok too. [url="http://phatmass.com/vocationstation"]t i n y c h a t .com/vocationstation[/url] take the spaces out of that word because theres a fiddler now and if I type it without the spaces it changes to phatmass edited to fix filtered link! Edited August 21, 2010 by vee8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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