Having A Home Again

[tinytherese]

What with the whacky situation at my home where my parents are in therapy because of their marriage and dad's abusive behavior towards me, I don't feel comfortable living in my house, so I've been living with my maternal grandparents. I took last semester off from college and am transfering yet again to a new school. I was at a great school that I was really happy at and it felt like a true home for me, but since it was only a two year college I had to leave. The next school I went to was definitely not a good fit for me, so I took time off. It didn't help that I was dealing with awful family issues. Mom hopes that dad will change and she is still indecisive if she wants to legally separate from him or not. My depression isn't as bad as before, especially with the right medication, better therapy, and the power of God. I'm eager to leave the house of my grandparents and be around kids my own age again. I want to be free and find decent friends who are actually trustworthy. I want to regain my confidence and independance while away at school in another state.

Please pray that unlike the other school, that this one will actually be a home for me and that I'll get a good therapist. I also need help with discerning friendships and putting myself out there. I'm a strongly introverted girl who has been hurt by a lot of friends in the past and I just haven't been a good judge of who to trust. I don't want anymore one-way friendships. I also have a hard time opening up to people. I want to properly guard my heart without going overboard about it. I felt really isolated at my other school. I've been really lonely and I've come to realize how many inadequate/superficial friendships I've had in the area of my home. I'm having a hard time communicating with my mom what with the stress that our family has been going through and I admit that I've been angry with her about her life decisions. I want to keep the fourth commandment though. I need to find a balance in properly honoring her and the rest of the family while learning how to be an adult. She still has some authority with me. I don't want us to have yet another emotional miscommunication talk with her which gets dramatic. We have to drive to my school, which is in another state together a long ways from home. I want to be whole again. I don't want to be afraid about friendships or romantic relationships because of all of the wounds I've gone through and the situation with my dad. I don't want to make a bad marriage choice like my mom has.