Pre-Convent Fears!

[Piccoli Fiori JMJ]

[img]http://grab.by/grabs/fcf97a83bef5649f99866c8e6e0e22fd.png[/img]

[Hilde]

lawl.

[Tridenteen]

[quote name='FutureNunJMJ' timestamp='1282164378' post='2159721']
[img]http://grab.by/grabs/fcf97a83bef5649f99866c8e6e0e22fd.png[/img]
[/quote]


JMJ
?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

[LadyOfSorrows]

I'm more afraid of living lay-life than entering... I'm doing okay for being a student at a Catholic university, but entering what "real life" is perceived to be by so many, I'm so afraid my weaknesses will allow me to be caught up in it. I attended a third order function the other day, just to see what was involved, and the lack of reverence at Mass, and the lethargicness of everything kind of shocked me.

But then again, I'm afraid I could never be worthy of God calling me to religious life...

Edited August 18, 2010 by LadyOfSorrows

[elizabeth09]

I am more fear not to see my family anymore or even being on stage again.

Edited August 19, 2010 by elizabeth09

[laetitia crucis]

[quote name='elizabeth09' timestamp='1282180205' post='2159831']
I am more fear not to see my family anymore or even being on stage again.
[/quote]

[i]All the world's a stage, and all the men and women are merely players...[/i]



Sorry, couldn't help myself... Shakespeare =

[img]http://i802.photobucket.com/albums/yy305/laetitia_crucis/Random/nunemoticon.gif[/img]

[MithLuin]

[quote name='LadyOfSorrows' timestamp='1282170621' post='2159765']
But then again, I'm afraid I could never be worthy of God calling me to religious life...
[/quote]

Yeah, about that....who is? I mean, yes, you can say "I'm no St. Therese," but you could also look at some of the other saints and say "I'm no St. Ignatius" (he was a soldier and arrested for brawling pre-conversion) or "I'm no St. Camillus de Lillis" (also a soldier, he was a hard-core gambler and a far from honest man). They all wound up in religious life, somehow.

None of us are worthy to receive the Eucharist. None of us are worthy to be in the presence of God in heaven.

And yet....he's okay with that. He desires us, just the same.

ALL of us.

I have no way of knowing if you are called to religious life, of course, but it isn't a question of your worthiness.

I don't think it is a bad thing to pray that God make us worthy if we are feeling particularly not-cut-out-for-it. I mean, as long as sinners repent and ask for God's grace...I'm pretty sure He gives it to us!

[krissylou]

[quote name='MithLuin' timestamp='1282190350' post='2159892']
Yeah, about that....who is? I mean, yes, you can say "I'm no St. Therese," but you could also look at some of the other saints and say "I'm no St. Ignatius" (he was a soldier and arrested for brawling pre-conversion) or "I'm no St. Camillus de Lillis" (also a soldier, he was a hard-core gambler and a far from honest man). They all wound up in religious life, somehow.

None of us are worthy to receive the Eucharist. None of us are worthy to be in the presence of God in heaven.

And yet....he's okay with that. He desires us, just the same.

ALL of us.

I have no way of knowing if you are called to religious life, of course, but it isn't a question of your worthiness.

I don't think it is a bad thing to pray that God make us worthy if we are feeling particularly not-cut-out-for-it. I mean, as long as sinners repent and ask for God's grace...I'm pretty sure He gives it to us!
[/quote]


Folks.

Anybody here make a regular practice of murdering Christians precisely because you hate the Christian faith?

Didn't think so.

Then you're a step ahead of St. Paul. And God used him in a rather extraordinary way.

It's ALL about grace. Always and only.

Yes we cooperate with grace and all that, but it is ALL about God's grace.

[Lilllabettt]

Recently, I stayed overnight with some Sisters, with whom I visit quite often. I slept long and deep, but just before morning I had the most horrible nightmare.

In the dream, I had entered this community and was about to enter the novitiate. I had the veil on and everything ... but then in the middle of the ceremony, I suddenly cried: "I can't do this, I just can't!" and proceeded to run away ... someone (my blood sister I think,) found me sitting on the floor in a corner of the convent somewhere, still wearing the novice veil and sobbing. She told me it was good I made the decision I did "before it was too late." But as she was speaking, there was a horrible feeling of regret and panic that came over me and I thought I should go back to the ceremony. But there was still this enormous tension, this awful feeling that by becoming a novice I was slamming the door shut and killing every other opportunity for my life ... and as much as I wanted to be a Sister, did I want it bad enough to do that, to actually stick the knife in and twist? I desperately needed to make a decision, one way or another , it was now or never ... Oh, it was horrible ...

I woke up well rested but amazed at how my subconcisous had channeled all this tension I've been feeling. I volunteer quite a bit in the Sister's apostolate which is a challenging one; not work that comes naturally to me. Sometimes I have wonderful days where I never want to leave and other days I can't wait to go home and feel competant again! And I think to myself, you can't make the sacrifice of this very traditional kind of religious life.

I'm not afraid of sacrifice ... but maybe permanent sacrifice. Isn't that just fear of commitment? Ha, a commitment-phobe!

Edited August 23, 2010 by Lilllabettt

[IgnatiusofLoyola]

[quote name='Lilllabettt' timestamp='1282523117' post='2161674']
Recently, I stayed overnight with some Sisters, with whom I visit quite often. I slept long and deep, but just before morning I had the most horrible nightmare.

In the dream, I had entered this community and was about to enter the novitiate. I had the veil on and everything ... but then in the middle of the ceremony, I suddenly cried: "I can't do this, I just can't!" and proceeded to run away ... someone (my blood sister I think,) found me sitting on the floor in a corner of the convent somewhere, still wearing the novice veil and sobbing. She told me it was good I made the decision I did "before it was too late." But as she was speaking, there was a horrible feeling of regret and panic that came over me and I thought I should go back to the ceremony. But there was still this enormous tension, this awful feeling that by becoming a novice I was slamming the door shut and killing every other opportunity for my life ... and as much as I wanted to be a Sister, did I want it bad enough to do that, to actually stick the knife in and twist? I desperately needed to make a decision, one way or another , it was now or never ... Oh, it was horrible ...

I woke up well rested but amazed at how my subconcisous had channeled all this tension I've been feeling. I volunteer quite a bit in the Sister's apostolate which is a challenging one; not work that comes naturally to me. Sometimes I have wonderful days where I never want to leave and other days I can't wait to go home and feel competant again! And I think to myself, you can't make the sacrifice of this very traditional kind of religious life.

I'm not afraid of sacrifice ... but maybe permanent sacrifice. Isn't that just fear of commitment? Ha, a commitment-phobe!
[/quote]

That sounds like an awful dream!

When I read your dream and your comments after, my thought wasn't that you were afraid of sacrifice or commitment, but that the commitment of being a novice in that particular community (whatever community you were dreaming about) maybe wasn't the right commitment. But, dreams are strange--you never know for sure whether they are dredging up past stuff you've been through, or reflecting how you feel now--or mixing them up together.

There are lots of other permanent sacrifices besides the religious life, such as marriage, and especially having a child. And, even if it isn't permanent, virtually every decision we make in life, by definition, means giving up something else. If we accept Job A, that means we have to give up Job B. I try not to think about things like that more than I have to, because it drives me crazy!

Or maybe the dream was just something you ate.

I certainly am far from an expert at understanding dreams. If I were, I'd be better at understanding my own! My ex the shrink wasn't into dreams at all. If I told him a dream, all he'd say was, "Well, what do YOU think it means?" Thanks a lot buddy. Now, tell me again why I helped pay to get you that PhD? But, I find dreams interesting. In college, my roomie and I used to tell each other our dreams over breakfast. It led to some interesting conversations.

[LaPetiteSoeur]

First off, I always remember St. Augustine when I feel unworthy. And then what a little sister told me once: God is worthy of your heart! Wow!

This made the rounds of the internet once...
When you think God can't use you, remember:
Noah was a drunk

Abraham was too old

Issac was a daydreamer

Jacob was a liar

Leah was ugly

Joseph was abused

Moses had a stuttering problem

Gideon was afraid

Samsom had long hair and was a womaniser

Rahab was a prostitute


jeremiah and timothy were too young

David had an affair and was a murderer

Elijah was suicidal

Isaiah preached naked

Jonah ran from God

Naomi was a widow

Job went bankrupt

Peter denied Christ

The disciples fell asleep while praying

Martha worried about everything

The samaritan woman was divorced more than once

Zaccheus was too small

Paul was too religious

Timothy had an ulcer

Lazarus was dead!

[quote name='krissylou' timestamp='1282221060' post='2159974']
Folks.

Anybody here make a regular practice of murdering Christians precisely because you hate the Christian faith?

Didn't think so.

Then you're a step ahead of St. Paul. And God used him in a rather extraordinary way.

It's ALL about grace. Always and only.

Yes we cooperate with grace and all that, but it is ALL about God's grace.


[/quote]

[JTheresa]

[quote name='FutureNunJMJ' timestamp='' post='']
[img]http://grab.by/grabs/fcf97a83bef5649f99866c8e6e0e22fd.png[/img]
[/quote]
I just got it.

[JTheresa]

One of my (many) pre-convent fears is that I won't adjust as well to religious life as everyone, thereby making it hard for me to see the future of my vocation. I'm also really afraid that once I enter they'll discover that I was just too young or maybe one day I might be called to leave. I know whatever God wants me to do will be best and will ultimately make me happy, but the thought of leaving a place that seems to be placed here for me is really depressing. I'm afraid that if I had to I would just give up on my vocation altogether.
but I'm going regardless of the fears; hopefully they will leave soon. It's rather confusing when you are peaceful and afraid at the same time.

[TeresaBenedicta]

[quote name='JTheresa' timestamp='1282566142' post='2161949']
One of my (many) pre-convent fears is that I won't adjust as well to religious life as everyone, thereby making it hard for me to see the future of my vocation. I'm also really afraid that once I enter they'll discover that I was just too young or maybe one day I might be called to leave. I know whatever God wants me to do will be best and will ultimately make me happy, but the thought of leaving a place that seems to be placed here for me is really depressing. I'm afraid that if I had to I would just give up on my vocation altogether.
but I'm going regardless of the fears; hopefully they will leave soon. [b]It's rather confusing when you are peaceful and afraid at the same time.[/b]
[/quote]

I can never manage to wrap my head around how this works, but it does. The best I do is to think of the Saints and try to remember their great peace during many, many trials. I have to remind myself that it's not as though they didn't feel any human emotions!!! In fact, that's what made them so saintly... in spite of those human emotions they maintained that supernatural peace of God.

[Sister Andrew]

[quote name='JTheresa' timestamp='1282566142' post='2161949']
One of my (many) pre-convent fears is that I won't adjust as well to religious life as everyone, thereby making it hard for me to see the future of my vocation. I'm also really afraid that once I enter they'll discover that I was just too young or maybe one day I might be called to leave. I know whatever God wants me to do will be best and will ultimately make me happy, but the thought of leaving a place that seems to be placed here for me is really depressing. I'm afraid that if I had to I would just give up on my vocation altogether.
but I'm going regardless of the fears; hopefully they will leave soon. It's rather confusing when you are peaceful and afraid at the same time.
[/quote]


I think most people has some kind of "fears" or questions before entrance, it's normal! As for the fear of "they'll discover that I was just too young or one day I might be called to leave." I think this or similar questions come into our heads at different points. I know for myself for a time in novitiate I would get caught up in comparing myself to the other novices with things like: "see how Sr. So and so has so many gifts and she is surely called to be a Sister but I don't have those gifts! Does that mean I'm not called here?!?" Also the fear of "one day having to leave" is a real fear that comes up. I remind myself that God has called me here and I want to follow Him with my whole life. If He were to lead me somewhere else I pray that I would be able to follow His call even if it were to leave and follow Him else where.
As always try to live in the present moment as much as possible and don't worry about "what if this" or "what if that" (easier said than done, I know!) God has lead you to this moment for a specific purpose that you might not recognize until much later in time.
I hope this makes sense! Prayers for all of you!