" I'm A Man"

[Sojourner]

[quote name='Nihil Obstat' date='04 August 2010 - 03:54 PM' timestamp='1280958847' post='2152257']
My belly button doesn't stink!!
[/quote]


Um, Nihil ... there's something I've been meaning to talk to you about ...

[Nihil Obstat]

[mommas_boy]

The Church needs a Saint that takes the perspective that this courageous man takes, with the experience that he has. I pray for such a Saint every day.

[kafka]

I like what he said about Church teaching. We teach the truth by word and example in hope that men will take heed and with the grace of God change their lives. The Church is set on a mountain because we are born of God who is Truth and we uphold the eternal moral law which is nothing other than God Himself. God is the Rock.

I would prefer to see an interview with one who is cured of the disorder and living a free ordered life in cooperation with grace and receiving the Sacraments for a substantial amount of time. One like this would have more wisdom, understanding, retrospection, discernment, etc. But I guess this would help for those struggling in the first stages as a sign of encouragement.

[iheartjp2]

[quote name='Lil Red' date='04 August 2010 - 01:42 PM' timestamp='1280943747' post='2152073']
[url="http://www.faithandfamilylive.com/features/im_a_man"]From Faith and Family[/url]
[i]Steve Gershom (a pseudonym) is a young, Catholic professional who recently came out as a homosexual to friends and family.[/i]

[b]What advice would you give to a Catholic who thinks he might be homosexual?[/b]

First, don’t assume that you’re “gay” and that’s that. I think of homosexuality as a spectrum, and there are plenty of people in the middle for part or all of their lives. Find a priest to talk to who is both orthodox and understanding. Isolation gets you into bad mental habits. Find a support group that you’re comfortable with: Courage is one, and there are dozens of others. Finally, pray a lot. You won’t be able to “pray it away,” but prayer, adoration, and frequent communion and confession make everything better. Of course, that goes for anyone with any kind of a cross to bear. Which is everyone.

[b]What advice would you give to parents who are concerned about their son’s sexual identity?[/b]

It’s terribly important for fathers to be accessible, emotionally and otherwise, to their sons; to spend regular one-on-one time with them; to praise them when they do well; and to give them lots of physical affection, from early on. I mean really early—we think of the adolescent years as being particularly formative, but a person’s emotional makeup can be drastically affected, for good or ill, from day one.

If the horse is already out of the barn, then first educate yourself [see below for recommended reading], and then talk to your son, in a careful, loving way. That is going to hurt a lot, for both of you, but not talking is much worse. He needs to know that you’re not scared or disgusted.

[b]Do you think that you might be able to become heterosexual, or that anyone can?[/b]

I believe some degree of change is possible. Ex-gay groups are caricatured as brainwashers and Bible-thumpers, who will tell you how depraved you are, and to squash your feelings down into the back of your psyche.
My experience with one group is the exact opposite. The work I did with People Can Change would benefit almost every man I know: they helped me to open old, badly-healed wounds, confront old fears and prejudices, and dismantle some of the lies I had been telling myself. It was scary and it hurt like hell, but it left me with the beginnings of a peace and confidence I had never experienced before.

Has it made me less attracted to men, or more attracted to women? Yes, a little bit. But more importantly, it has made me a less fearful, more integrated person. That’s a work in progress.

Maybe I’ll be able to get married and have children, maybe not. But the one sure way to be miserable is to obsess about the things you don’t have, and forget to give thanks for the things you do have. I have a lot.

[b]Is there anything you wish you could change about the Church’s teaching on homosexuality?[/b]
Not a thing. Without the Church’s clear teaching on the issue, I would have been at the mercy of my badly confused emotions. When your instincts are misleading, you need something unshakable. The Church is a rock.
On the other hand, I do think the Church’s approach to the topic needs work, and badly. You might hear a sermon or two about gay marriage, but that’s not terribly helpful. Catholics often talk about homosexual men as if they were another species—who should of course be pitied and prayed for: Those poor freaks!

This isn’t due to ill will, obviously. It’s because people are embarrassed, are scared of offending someone, and have been badly misinformed by all the cultural propaganda.

[b]If you could clear up one common misunderstanding about homosexuals, what would it be?[/b]

I don’t believe that “gay” is a valid category, the way “male” and “female” are. I used to think being gay meant being a different kind of person altogether—like a third gender. These days I think that it’s something I have, not something I am.

The surprising thing is that gay men are gay because they are masculine, not because they are feminine. What I mean is this: men, gay and straight, want to know they’re real men. If something stops them from believing that, then they’ll go looking for that manhood for the rest of their lives.

Some men look for it by finding a man who will give them acceptance and affection—or at least sex. These are the men we call “gay.” Some men look for it by sleeping with a lot of women and picking a lot of fights. These are the men we call, well, “jerks.” But both of them are the way they are, and want the things they want, because of the specifically masculine traits they started out with.

The best way to sum it up is something a very good priest once said to me in confession. He said, “You’re not a homosexual. You’re a man.”
[/quote]

WIN.

[Jaime]

[quote name='kafka' date='04 August 2010 - 08:34 PM' timestamp='1280968455' post='2152350']
I like what he said about Church teaching. We teach the truth by word and example in hope that men will take heed and with the grace of God change their lives. The Church is set on a mountain because we are born of God who is Truth and we uphold the eternal moral law which is nothing other than God Himself. God is the Rock.

I would prefer to see an interview with one who is cured of the disorder and living a free ordered life i[b]n cooperation with grace and receiving the Sacraments for a substantial amount of time.[/b] One like this would have more wisdom, understanding, retrospection, discernment, etc. But I guess this would help for those struggling in the first stages as a sign of encouragement.
[/quote]

you understand that "Stephen" is doing this part right?

[cmotherofpirl]

[quote name='Ed Normile' date='04 August 2010 - 06:24 PM' timestamp='1280957074' post='2152224']
In all fairness many of you are making presumptions, first off Nihil says he thinks I am looking for scandal, actually Nihil I was not looking for anything, just responding to the post.

Terra you seem very knowledgeable, i know you would not assume to make such bold statements if you did not have better reference than this article supplied, that was my point of this post. If I were a confused homosexual I could take from the statement you quoted partially, and the finish of the statement which I quoted to either believe the church's views are right, or they are badly in need of change, as this was what was posted it could be read either way depending on ones mindset. I see by your posts that you are privvy to information not posted in the above article, I had to go byu what was actually posted here.

Teresa you posted, "I think with his clear support of the Church's teachings, he's chaste.

As for becoming a "bi-sexual", I don't think so. Like he said, he finds homosexuality something more like a spectrum. Not something where "You're gay" or "You're heterosexual". It's more sliding than that."

You referred to the spectrum as sliding , not either being gay or heterosexual? That is what I was referring to as "anything goes" you also prefaced this by posting about his "clear support of the Church's teachings", I do not understand how clear support relates to his statement that the Church's approach needs to be changed, and badly, sounds like dissent there to me, and unless you too have deeper or more intimate knowledge than available in the above article its being very generous to state that "he's chaste"

Too all this was just an opinion on what I read above, no need to be so argumentative and on the offensive, I will defer my opinion to those who have more information than I.

ed
[/quote]
The guy has no problem with Church teachings, his problem is the way they are implemented in the church, and he is right.
How many of our local churches have an active chapter of Courage? How many dioceses? If it is at a diocesan level, does the local parish have notices up? Do priests talk about SSA from the pulpit when they talk of other disorders or sins ( if they talk of sin at all)? Our application of our teachings in this area leavees much to be desired and he is simply pointing this out.

[The Bus Station]

[quote name='mommas_boy' date='04 August 2010 - 08:02 PM' timestamp='1280966567' post='2152334']
The Church needs a Saint that takes the perspective that this courageous man takes, with the experience that he has. I pray for such a Saint every day.
[/quote]

Amen.