A Lion, A Tiger, A Bear, And An Alligator

[Vincent Vega]

[quote name='CatherineM' date='24 July 2010 - 07:19 PM' timestamp='1280013549' post='2147599']
We were at the local Tandy's yesterday, and they had a couple of gator skins at the register. $200 for one that wasn't quite 2 feet long from nose to tip of the tail. Back home, those wouldn't even be worth chasing out of your pool.
[/quote]
Srs.
We don't remove them from the pond until they're 5' or 6'. In fact, I think it's illegal to do so before that point.

[SaintOfVirtue]

Alligator wouldn't stand a chance, they rely on surprise and out of the water they are powerless.

The bear would win, they are vicious.

[img]http://www.firstpeople.us/pictures/bear/odd_sizes/Angry-Grizzly-Bear.jpg[/img]

[Nihil Obstat]

[quote name='SaintOfVirtue' date='24 July 2010 - 09:37 PM' timestamp='1280025422' post='2147689']
Alligator wouldn't stand a chance, they rely on surprise and out of the water they are powerless.

The bear would win, they are vicious.

[img]http://www.firstpeople.us/pictures/bear/odd_sizes/Angry-Grizzly-Bear.jpg[/img]
[/quote]
Who said it was out of the water?

[Nihil Obstat]

We also never heard if it was a black bear, or grizzly. A black bear wouldn't stand a chance. Grizzlies are pretty frightening creatures though.

[The Bus Station]

None of them.

Round 1: Seeing the bear as the largest enemy, the lion and tiger, being cousins, would instinctively join forces to attack it first. Both cats would out-maneuver the bear in agility, climbing all over his body and biting at his neck. The bear becomes fatigued (too much hibernation, not enough exercise) and collapses, eventually bleeding to death from massive neck wounds.

Round 2: The alligator has been calmly watching with his mouth wide open, uploading the whole fight onto his YouTube channel (in 4 parts). Being a primarily defensive creature, he has no reason to attack either cat, but waits. The lion and tiger then get together and produce a LIGER. Rawr.

Round 3: The alligator waits for the opportune moment to make its move on the young liger cub. When it does, it is a furious tug of war between the cats and the alligator. Sensing that it is outmatched, the alligator lets the resilient cub free. The tiger, having much less experience with gators than the lion, is like "wth you tried to eat my kid" and foolishly seeks to destroy the alligator. The two get into a long tussle, resulting in the tiger's legs eventually giving in to several bite wounds. The gator goes in for the kill and nom nom noms on tiger.

Round 4: The gator is now exhausted, so lion is like "lol watch this" to his liger cub, and adds to the gator wounds, but not before gator gets a good NOM NOM NOM out of lion. So they both bleed to death, and die. But before lion dies, he tells liger, "Remember who you are..." and then he dies. These words haunt liger for the rest of his life, because he's like "ok srsly I'm a liger -- I'm not even supposed to exist. And wth is that a bear carcass?"

So liger has a serious identity crisis and writes a memoir about his traumatizing experience of growing up in a tiny room with three different species of animal around him, and watching all of them die.

So.

[Nihil Obstat]

[img]http://lolcat.com/images/lolcats/293.jpg[/img]

Edited July 25, 2010 by Nihil Obstat

[jeffpugh]

Bear.
[quote name='Paddington' date='24 July 2010 - 07:15 PM' timestamp='1280013346' post='2147597']
The bear would snap the gator's spine and use him as a baseball bat against the kitties. Then, he would use the gator's teeth to peel the exotic fur off and sell it on E-Bay.




Now you're just being silly.
[/quote]
Trew Story.

[quote name='CatherineM' date='24 July 2010 - 07:19 PM' timestamp='1280013549' post='2147599']
We were at the local Tandy's yesterday, and they had a couple of gator skins at the register. $200 for one that wasn't quite 2 feet long from nose to tip of the tail. Back home, those wouldn't even be worth chasing out of your pool.
[/quote]
Lawl.

[quote name='Marie-Therese' date='24 July 2010 - 07:58 PM' timestamp='1280015889' post='2147622']
I think they would all walk into a bar.
[/quote]
And you have no opinion as a southerner?

[quote name='USAirwaysIHS' date='24 July 2010 - 09:06 PM' timestamp='1280019968' post='2147660']
Srs.
We don't remove them from the pond until they're 5' or 6'. In fact, I think it's illegal to do so before that point.
[/quote]
Lawl.


Okay. So I'm thinking bear. I know it can be smarter than the gator. The gator has two distinct weaknesses: first is that their mouths are stronger in shutting than opening. When its shut, it can be held closed. Second weakness is the underbelly. That's the tricky part, though. The gator will have to be wrestled by the bear so it can be flipped over.
The bear has the advantage of an overall tough skin and the ability to stand on its hind legs.
I think the gator has less chance of survival. Honestly, it's an old model of quadruped. It's the age of mammals, baby I'm really just throwing the dice by saying bear, though. Between the three mammals, anything can happen. I'm hoping the bear will use its tanking skills, though. The other three animals are adept at sneaking up on its prey. When they're in a room together, they all the sudden lose the surprise critical strike that they are used to getting. Bear = endurance.

[Luigi]

I gotta go with the gator.

The bear will never break the gator's back or flip him over - every time the bear gets close, the gator tail-whips him so bad he runs to the lion and tiger for relief. Somebody said the cats had greater agility than the bear - maybe a little, but not much; bears are much more agile than they look.

"I think the gator has less chance of survival. Honestly, it's an old model of quadruped. It's the age of mammals, baby" - How do you think alligators have survived this long? Because they're bigger, badder, quicker, tougher, and meaner than any girly-man mammals, that's why!

Gator all the way, and he never breaks a sweat.

[jeffpugh]

Touché.

[Nihil Obstat]

[quote name='Luigi' date='25 July 2010 - 11:36 PM' timestamp='1280119001' post='2148143']
I gotta go with the gator.

The bear will never break the gator's back or flip him over - every time the bear gets close, the gator tail-whips him so bad he runs to the lion and tiger for relief. Somebody said the cats had greater agility than the bear - maybe a little, but not much; bears are much more agile than they look.

"I think the gator has less chance of survival. Honestly, it's an old model of quadruped. It's the age of mammals, baby" - How do you think alligators have survived this long? Because they're bigger, badder, quicker, tougher, and meaner than any girly-man mammals, that's why!

Gator all the way, and he never breaks a sweat.
[/quote]
In other words....... "because I said so".

Luckily cold blooded animals can't sweat.

[jeffpugh]

[quote name='Nihil Obstat' date='26 July 2010 - 02:41 AM' timestamp='1280126501' post='2148169']
In other words....... "because I said so".

Luckily cold blooded animals can't sweat.
[/quote]
(btw, my last comment was concerning the reptile not sweating). So, you're on the side of the bear, then?

[Nihil Obstat]

[quote name='Sacred Music Man' date='26 July 2010 - 02:52 PM' timestamp='1280173923' post='2148338']
(btw, my last comment was concerning the reptile not sweating). So, you're on the side of the bear, then?
[/quote]
I think I voted alligator, but grizzlies are pretty darn formidable opponents.

[Ed Normile]

I was hoping this was a "walks into a bar joke"

ed

[Seven77]

A Ligon wearing a bear over his alligator armor.

[Slappo]

Anyone here realize how much a fully grown grizzly bear can weigh?

We're talking 1200-1500lbs...

As for agility, a bear can hit 30mph pretty dang fast. The bear has brute strength over all the others. Also, a bear could totally charge the lion or tiger and break them into pieces.

As for the alligator... seriously? You don't think a 1200lb bear jumping on an alligator could crush it? Who said anything about the back... smash his head...