Nihil's Guide To Forum Posts

[Nihil Obstat]

A.K.A. Posting on Message Boards for Dummies
A.K.A. Everything You Ever Wanted To Know About Writing Internet Posts (But Were Too Afraid To Ask)
A.K.A. How To Catch Bullets In Your Teeth And Spit Out Lead


This is intended to be a lighthearted, humourous thread about how to write a good post. Please continue.
My guide is generally intended to be arranged chronologically from the time to read a post to sometime after you post a reply, but I may jump around a bit.





HOW TO LURK:

1) Click on a thread. If it's your first time reading the thread, read the O.P. (original post). Then read the poll, and answer the poll. Do it in this order. Otherwise you'll be answering a poll with poor background. Then you look like a fo[u][/u]ol.
If you can't click on the thread because you don't have a mouse, or because your mouse suddenly stopped working, go to Staples. Staples has great deals on computer accessories. Find a comfortable mouse that fits nicely in the palm of your hand, and which you can use without cramping your fingers or palm. Nobody likes muscle spasms. Especially hobbyist and professional climbers.
If you're catching up on new content on a thread you've viewed before, read all replies that have been made in your absence. This includes spam. If you skip spam you'll miss out on webforum culture. You'll be out of the loop as all your forum buddies gather around the water cooler or Tinychat room to shoot the breeze. You will be ordered to [url="http://www.the-trukstop.com/articles/2008/images/mixxing101/lurkmoar.jpg"]lurk moar pl0><[/url] if you skip this rule too often. You'll generally appear to be rather uptight and boring.

2) Do you want to respond to a particular post someone made in the thread you're viewing? Great! This is how you become a respected member of a webforum. It's how you make new and exciting friends, and cement already established relationships. First pick the post you want to respond to. Then re-read it at least once, and slowly. If you don't do this, you may miss a critical part of the post, and will look a bit silly when you have formulated a response.

3) Now you need to write your post. Click reply.

HOW TO WRITE A POST:

4) Take a moment to get your thoughts in order. Nobody likes a rambling post.
If you're replying to a specific post that another member wrote, it's usually a good rule to keep your response trimmed down to one or two points. If you're making a general reply to a thread, it's acceptable to make more points, but remember that the more points you make, the higher you run the risk of the dreaded [url="http://knowyourmeme.com/i/7757/original/Tealdeer.gif"]TL;DR[/url]. Avoid the TL;DR. Sometimes trolls will apply a TL;DR to your post for t3h lulz, but more often a TL;DR is a sign that you forgot to contain your reply. [url="http://www.affordablehousinginstitute.org/blogs/us/hamlet_polonius_small.jpg"]Brevity is the soul of wit.[/url]

5) Start typing. Hopefully by now you have a clear idea of what you want to say. Maybe you even know the exact wording you want to use. This is good. If your grammar is sloppy or your spelling is poor, you give [url="http://cdn1.knowyourmeme.com/i/000/035/054/original/MP__Grammar_Nazi_by_ItaniMajere.jpg"]grammar nazi trolls[/url]an opening to derail the thread.

6) Stop typing. This is important. If you type for too long, you run into the same problems as if your post contains too many points. Besides that, you may take so long that the discussion taking place on the thread has moved well beyond your points by the time you have posted.

7) Re-read your post. Check for t3h grammarz as well as t3h sp3llingz. Check to make sure you've addressed the point to which you are replying. Very importantly, check for any logical fallacies you may have inadvertently made. If you come across a logical fallacy, you should seriously consider deleting your post, re-reading the relevant sections of the thread, and starting from scratch. Most inadvertent logical fallacies indicate a break in your own understanding of the subject which must be addressed before your opinions can stand up in a discussion or debate. Logical fallacies will harm your own case, as well as bolstering your opponents' (assuming you are in a debate situation). Also check to make sure that you are not about to break any forum rules.

8) Once you are sure that your post is acceptable, press the post button.


TROUBLESHOOTING:

WHAT SHOULD I AVOID IN MY POST???!!1!!!?/??

There are many things to avoid when making a post on a webforum. I will address the most important of these.

Personal Attacks: Personal attacks are distinct from jokes. A personal attack is meant to make another person feel worse about themselves. Don't do this. It's bad. If you post personal attacks, your own person will be attacked by a [url="http://30.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_kwpf8dSJsp1qa624so1_500.png"]variety[/url] of [url="http://www.petville.com/photos/uncategorized/samugly.jpg"]fearsome[/url] and [url="http://spaghettovolante.files.wordpress.com/2010/03/crocoduck.jpg"]highly[/url] [url="http://1d4chan.org/images/0/06/4l6knza.jpg"]improbable[/url] [url="http://lolblog.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2008/08/bears-with-guns.jpeg"]beasts.[/url]

Logical Fallacies: See above. Nobody likes [url="http://kippled.files.wordpress.com/2008/12/wickerman1.jpg"]logical fallacies[/url]. [url="http://eduspaces.net/cripple/files/-1/27021/fallacy2.gif"]They're lame (except when they're so lame they're funny).[/url]

Flamebait: [url="http://inox.org/demot/TROLLING.jpg"]You know who you are.[/url] Punishments include silly string on your car, denial of service attacks on your home internet connection and phone lines, and malicious spyware intended to facilitate identity theft (but only if MIkolbe is in a bad mood).

Ninja Edits: If you need to [url="http://www.straw-dogs.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2008/12/79485-1-ninja.jpg"]edit your post[/url], and your edit significantly chances the content of your post, and if this edit occurs more than five seconds after posting, be accountable and if possible leave your original post intact while clarifying below.

Ke$ha: I hold this Truth to be self-evident.

Prooftexting: If you're prooftexting, stop it. It's poor debate etiquette, and betrays a lack of patience. Posting a .pdf file of the entire Bible and saying "End of story" probably means that you're a jerk. If your post is entirely or almost entirely in another language, and no translation is provided, you're prooftexting (unless it's a joke or a simple exclamation of joy).

WHAT SHOULD I BE CAREFUL ABOUT IN MY POST???!?!??>!/!??!!1!!??

Jokes: Jokes are always good. Except when they're not. It is always safe to make jokes about yourself. These jokes may be as harsh as you desire. If the subject of the joke is not yourself, please keep in mind the [url="http://crunchiemummy.files.wordpress.com/2008/09/crying-baby.jpg"]personality[/url] [url="http://www.grimmemennesker.dk/data/media/1/477_son_i_am_disappoint.gif"]of the[/url] [url="http://www.businesspundit.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/06/angry1.jpg"]joke's[/url] [url="http://praxeology.net/spock.jpg"]subject[/url].
The ratio of jokes at your expense to jokes at others' expense should be near 1:1. Hesitate to make jokes about a person you don't know well. Never hesitate to make a joke about yourself.

Videos: If you post a video, even if you're familiar with it, give it a quick listen to make sure that there is no profanity or too-mature humour. Same goes for large copy-and-paste sections from other websites, and links to other websites.

WHAT SHOULD MY POSTS HAVE LOTS OF?????????!?!?!?!/!?!?!?!/!@/!!?!?!?!???!??!?!?12!?!!??????

Emoticons: Never a bad thing. Emoticons can communicate intended meaning more clearly, imitating body language and vocal tone.

Favourable references to any pope or saint: Maximilian Kolbe is a hero. You should be a hero too.......... by bringing up lots of heroic people when you post, like [url="http://www.scborromeo.org/images/saints/kolbe.jpg"]Maximilian Kolbe[/url], and [url="http://vashiculturalassociation.com/template1/images/MotherTeresa_090.jpg"]Blessed Mother Teresa[/url], and [url="http://intellectualfaith.files.wordpress.com/2008/07/hildebrand-1.gif"]Dietrich von Hildebrand[/url], and [url="http://theblackcordelias.files.wordpress.com/2009/06/archbishop-fulton-sheen.jpg"]Archbishop Fulton Sheen[/url], and [url="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_OZEW1KPpFOI/SUluJjQrFVI/AAAAAAAABZI/P-5_ngA0eWo/s400/arinze-cardinal.gif"]Cardinal Arinze[/url], and [url="http://scrapetv.com/News/News%20Pages/Everyone%20Else/images/spock.jpg"]Spock[/url], and [url="http://karmaburn.com/files/screenshots/love_hina/shinobu_0801.jpg"]Maehara Shinobu[/url].

Tac[u][/u]os: [url="http://media.animevice.com/uploads/0/1906/149030-saki___i_will__myself__become_the_taco__super.jpg"]Everybody loves ta[i][/i]cos.[/url]

Star Trek: [url="http://www.rabittooth.com/800x600StarWarsWallpapers2/BenKenobiWallpaper.jpg"]Star Wars is also acceptable if it[/url] [url="http://www.stuffwelike.com/stuffwelike/wp-content/uploads/2009/07/star-trek-inspirational-poster.jpg"]is your personal preference.[/url]

Sacred Music: Every time is the right time for some Gregorian Chant, Renaissance Polyphony, Eastern Chant, or all of the above. [url="http://i.ytimg.com/vi/IyIB3yPTivM/0.jpg"]Especially if it includes an[/url] [url="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IyIB3yPTivM"]oktavist[/url] (also known as [url="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_3TjfUFXJZQ"]basso profondo[/url]).

Black Eyed Peas: Just kidding. No Black Eyed Peas.

Iconography: See "Sacred Music".

God: Your posts should have lots of God.


HOW TO DISAGREE WITH SOMEONE (EVEN IF THEY'RE AN IDIOT):

1) Do not post yet. Re-read what they said again. Then say a prayer. I like the [url="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IoSuyUFiEYo"]Hail Holy Queen[/url].

2) Look at a [url="http://demotivationalblog.com/demotivational/2008/09/moar-because-moar.jpg"]funny/silly picture[/url]. Always post in a good mood. It'll get you into less trouble, and it'll bug the croutons out of the people you disagree with.

3) Do not make jokes unless they are at your own expense. Now is not the time.

4) Triple check for red flags and things to avoid in your post.

5) If you are in a serious yet polite and controlled debate, step two may be omitted.


HOW TO BYPASS THE FIL[u][/u]TER:

1) Insert a set of tags into the middle of the filte[s][/s]red word. For instance (leaving out spaces), to post che[s][/s]ese instead of coagulated milk, type c h e [ u ] [ / u ] e s e

2) Do not do this for profanities.

3) If you do do this for profanities, don't tell anyone that I told you how to do it.

4) If you do do this for profanities, and you tattle like a petty little tattle-tale, tell the moderators that I made you swear never to do it.


HOW TO RETRIEVE YOUR POST IF YOU LOSE YOUR INTERNET CONNECTION AFTER PRESSING "POST":

1) Throw your computer at a wall.

2) Bang your head against said wall.

3) Drink yourself into happy oblivion.


WHAT TO DO IF SOMEONE TAKES OFFENSE TO YOUR POST:

*please note order of steps*

1) Apologize sincerely.

2) Determine if you are at fault.

3) If you are at fault, apologize again, both publicly and privately.

4) Post a [url="http://mono.whatevz.net/images/Joseph_Ducreux_7_1Z8F7X0.jpg"]funny picture[/url].


AFTER POSTING:

1) Wash your hands. I'm [url="http://www.nutritionvital.info/i/products/imuran.jpg"]immunosuppressed[/url], and the world would be a happier place if people washed their hands more often.


IS POSTING WHILE NAKED ACCEPTABLE?

Only if your webcam is turned off.


COMPLIMENT OTHER MEMBERS FREQUENTLY:

1) Especially if they're Nihil Obstat.

2) How to compliment other members method one (sincerely): Select one personality trait, virtue, or other point that you observe in the other member and believe to be worthy of compliment. Bring this up sincerely, but don't overdo it.

3) How to compliment other members method two (sarcastically v.1.): Select one personality trait, virtue, or other point that you observe in the other member that is entirely unworthy of compliment. Bring this up with fake sincerity [url="http://i760.photobucket.com/albums/xx250/Liteskin18/2hcja04.jpg"]and act like[/url] [url="http://livingelpaso.files.wordpress.com/2010/03/haters.jpg"]everything's cool.[/url]

4) How to compliment other members method two (sarcastically v.2.): Select one personality trait, virtue, or other point that you observe in the other member that you believe to be worthy of compliment. Make such a huge freakin' deal about it that they're embarrassed and everyone else laughs.

5) How to compliment other members bonus method: Combine methods 3 and 4.


WHEN MAY YOU BREAK ANY OF THE ABOVE RULES?:

1) When Jesus tells you to.

2) When Mary tells you to.

3) When you have an airtight excuse of chemical impairment including but not limited to alcohol and anesthetic drugs.

[Nihil Obstat]

TL;DR!!!

[Jaime]

I think Nihil is awesome

[Nihil Obstat]

This thread is over 9000 times better when you click on all the links.

[IcePrincessKRS]

I clicked most of them, but for some reason my phatmass links never open in a new tab on their own so I got lazy about halfway through.

It was funny. And to think you said brevity is the soul of wit. You might have proved yourself wrong... or maybe it's the exception that proves the rule?

[Nihil Obstat]

[quote name='IcePrincessKRS' date='18 July 2010 - 11:52 PM' timestamp='1279515125' post='2144698']
I clicked most of them, but for some reason my phatmass links never open in a new tab on their own so I got lazy about halfway through.

It was funny. And to think you said brevity is the soul of wit. You might have proved yourself wrong... or maybe it's the exception that proves the rule?
[/quote]
Did you try holding control while clicking the link?

[Sojourner]

[quote name='IcePrincessKRS' date='18 July 2010 - 10:52 PM' timestamp='1279515125' post='2144698']
I clicked most of them, but for some reason my phatmass links never open in a new tab on their own so I got lazy about halfway through.

It was funny. And to think you said brevity is the soul of wit. You might have proved yourself wrong... or maybe it's the exception that proves the rule?
[/quote]
That changed when dUSt upgraded the phorum a while back. I whined about it, and was told to push Ctrl at the same time as clicking. I never do that. I just back-click, or don't front-click at all.

[XIX]

<<insert [s]lame [/s]joke wherein reply ironically breaks as many rules listed in the OP as humanly possible>>

(Edit because said jokes are actually not lame. Except maybe lame in the nicest way possible)

Edited July 19, 2010 by XIX

[Nihil Obstat]

[quote name='Terra Firma' date='19 July 2010 - 12:00 AM' timestamp='1279515646' post='2144704']
That changed when dUSt upgraded the phorum a while back. I whined about it, and was told to push Ctrl at the same time as clicking. I never do that. I just back-click, or don't front-click at all.
[/quote]
I actually open most links as new tabs. I like to finish what I'm doing first, then have whatever's next waiting for me, so I'm in the habit.

[quote name='XIX' date='19 July 2010 - 12:04 AM' timestamp='1279515853' post='2144705']
<<insert [s]lame [/s]joke wherein reply ironically breaks as many rules listed in the OP as humanly possible>>

(Edit because said jokes are actually not lame. Except maybe lame in the nicest way possible)
[/quote]
I'm pretty sure that's one of the best kinds of jokes. Maybe later I'll do a guide on How To Be Funny.

[Marie-Therese]

[quote name='Nihil Obstat' date='19 July 2010 - 12:38 AM' timestamp='1279514298' post='2144688']
A.K.A. Posting on Message Boards for Dummies
A.K.A. Everything You Ever Wanted To Know About Writing Internet Posts (But Were Too Afraid To Ask)
A.K.A. How To Catch Bullets In Your Teeth And Spit Out Lead


This is intended to be a lighthearted, humourous thread about how to write a good post. Please continue.
My guide is generally intended to be arranged chronologically from the time to read a post to sometime after you post a reply, but I may jump around a bit.





HOW TO LURK:

1) Click on a thread. If it's your first time reading the thread, read the O.P. (original post). Then read the poll, and answer the poll. Do it in this order. Otherwise you'll be answering a poll with poor background. Then you look like a fo[u][/u]ol.
If you can't click on the thread because you don't have a mouse, or because your mouse suddenly stopped working, go to Staples. Staples has great deals on computer accessories. Find a comfortable mouse that fits nicely in the palm of your hand, and which you can use without cramping your fingers or palm. Nobody likes muscle spasms. Especially hobbyist and professional climbers.
If you're catching up on new content on a thread you've viewed before, read all replies that have been made in your absence. This includes spam. If you skip spam you'll miss out on webforum culture. You'll be out of the loop as all your forum buddies gather around the water cooler or Tinychat room to shoot the breeze. You will be ordered to [url="http://www.the-trukstop.com/articles/2008/images/mixxing101/lurkmoar.jpg"]lurk moar pl0><[/url] if you skip this rule too often. You'll generally appear to be rather uptight and boring.

2) Do you want to respond to a particular post someone made in the thread you're viewing? Great! This is how you become a respected member of a webforum. It's how you make new and exciting friends, and cement already established relationships. First pick the post you want to respond to. Then re-read it at least once, and slowly. If you don't do this, you may miss a critical part of the post, and will look a bit silly when you have formulated a response.

3) Now you need to write your post. Click reply.

HOW TO WRITE A POST:

4) Take a moment to get your thoughts in order. Nobody likes a rambling post.
If you're replying to a specific post that another member wrote, it's usually a good rule to keep your response trimmed down to one or two points. If you're making a general reply to a thread, it's acceptable to make more points, but remember that the more points you make, the higher you run the risk of the dreaded [url="http://knowyourmeme.com/i/7757/original/Tealdeer.gif"]TL;DR[/url]. Avoid the TL;DR. Sometimes trolls will apply a TL;DR to your post for t3h lulz, but more often a TL;DR is a sign that you forgot to contain your reply. [url="http://www.affordablehousinginstitute.org/blogs/us/hamlet_polonius_small.jpg"]Brevity is the soul of wit.[/url]

5) Start typing. Hopefully by now you have a clear idea of what you want to say. Maybe you even know the exact wording you want to use. This is good. If your grammar is sloppy or your spelling is poor, you give [url="http://cdn1.knowyourmeme.com/i/000/035/054/original/MP__Grammar_Nazi_by_ItaniMajere.jpg"]grammar nazi trolls[/url]an opening to derail the thread.

6) Stop typing. This is important. If you type for too long, you run into the same problems as if your post contains too many points. Besides that, you may take so long that the discussion taking place on the thread has moved well beyond your points by the time you have posted.

7) Re-read your post. Check for t3h grammarz as well as t3h sp3llingz. Check to make sure you've addressed the point to which you are replying. Very importantly, check for any logical fallacies you may have inadvertently made. If you come across a logical fallacy, you should seriously consider deleting your post, re-reading the relevant sections of the thread, and starting from scratch. Most inadvertent logical fallacies indicate a break in your own understanding of the subject which must be addressed before your opinions can stand up in a discussion or debate. Logical fallacies will harm your own case, as well as bolstering your opponents' (assuming you are in a debate situation). Also check to make sure that you are not about to break any forum rules.

8) Once you are sure that your post is acceptable, press the post button.


TROUBLESHOOTING:

WHAT SHOULD I AVOID IN MY POST???!!1!!!?/??

There are many things to avoid when making a post on a webforum. I will address the most important of these.

Personal Attacks: Personal attacks are distinct from jokes. A personal attack is meant to make another person feel worse about themselves. Don't do this. It's bad. If you post personal attacks, your own person will be attacked by a [url="http://30.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_kwpf8dSJsp1qa624so1_500.png"]variety[/url] of [url="http://www.petville.com/photos/uncategorized/samugly.jpg"]fearsome[/url] and [url="http://spaghettovolante.files.wordpress.com/2010/03/crocoduck.jpg"]highly[/url] [url="http://1d4chan.org/images/0/06/4l6knza.jpg"]improbable[/url] [url="http://lolblog.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2008/08/bears-with-guns.jpeg"]beasts.[/url]

Logical Fallacies: See above. Nobody likes [url="http://kippled.files.wordpress.com/2008/12/wickerman1.jpg"]logical fallacies[/url]. [url="http://eduspaces.net/cripple/files/-1/27021/fallacy2.gif"]They're lame (except when they're so lame they're funny).[/url]

Flamebait: [url="http://inox.org/demot/TROLLING.jpg"]You know who you are.[/url] Punishments include silly string on your car, denial of service attacks on your home internet connection and phone lines, and malicious spyware intended to facilitate identity theft (but only if MIkolbe is in a bad mood).

Ninja Edits: If you need to [url="http://www.straw-dogs.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2008/12/79485-1-ninja.jpg"]edit your post[/url], and your edit significantly chances the content of your post, and if this edit occurs more than five seconds after posting, be accountable and if possible leave your original post intact while clarifying below.

Ke$ha: I hold this Truth to be self-evident.

Prooftexting: If you're prooftexting, stop it. It's poor debate etiquette, and betrays a lack of patience. Posting a .pdf file of the entire Bible and saying "End of story" probably means that you're a jerk. If your post is entirely or almost entirely in another language, and no translation is provided, you're prooftexting (unless it's a joke or a simple exclamation of joy).

WHAT SHOULD I BE CAREFUL ABOUT IN MY POST???!?!??>!/!??!!1!!??

Jokes: Jokes are always good. Except when they're not. It is always safe to make jokes about yourself. These jokes may be as harsh as you desire. If the subject of the joke is not yourself, please keep in mind the [url="http://crunchiemummy.files.wordpress.com/2008/09/crying-baby.jpg"]personality[/url] [url="http://www.grimmemennesker.dk/data/media/1/477_son_i_am_disappoint.gif"]of the[/url] [url="http://www.businesspundit.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/06/angry1.jpg"]joke's[/url] [url="http://praxeology.net/spock.jpg"]subject[/url].
The ratio of jokes at your expense to jokes at others' expense should be near 1:1. Hesitate to make jokes about a person you don't know well. Never hesitate to make a joke about yourself.

Videos: If you post a video, even if you're familiar with it, give it a quick listen to make sure that there is no profanity or too-mature humour. Same goes for large copy-and-paste sections from other websites, and links to other websites.

WHAT SHOULD MY POSTS HAVE LOTS OF?????????!?!?!?!/!?!?!?!/!@/!!?!?!?!???!??!?!?12!?!!??????

Emoticons: Never a bad thing. Emoticons can communicate intended meaning more clearly, imitating body language and vocal tone.

Favourable references to any pope or saint: Maximilian Kolbe is a hero. You should be a hero too.......... by bringing up lots of heroic people when you post, like [url="http://www.scborromeo.org/images/saints/kolbe.jpg"]Maximilian Kolbe[/url], and [url="http://vashiculturalassociation.com/template1/images/MotherTeresa_090.jpg"]Blessed Mother Teresa[/url], and [url="http://intellectualfaith.files.wordpress.com/2008/07/hildebrand-1.gif"]Dietrich von Hildebrand[/url], and [url="http://theblackcordelias.files.wordpress.com/2009/06/archbishop-fulton-sheen.jpg"]Archbishop Fulton Sheen[/url], and [url="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_OZEW1KPpFOI/SUluJjQrFVI/AAAAAAAABZI/P-5_ngA0eWo/s400/arinze-cardinal.gif"]Cardinal Arinze[/url], and [url="http://scrapetv.com/News/News%20Pages/Everyone%20Else/images/spock.jpg"]Spock[/url], and [url="http://karmaburn.com/files/screenshots/love_hina/shinobu_0801.jpg"]Maehara Shinobu[/url].

Tac[u][/u]os: [url="http://media.animevice.com/uploads/0/1906/149030-saki___i_will__myself__become_the_taco__super.jpg"]Everybody loves ta[i][/i]cos.[/url]

Star Trek: [url="http://www.rabittooth.com/800x600StarWarsWallpapers2/BenKenobiWallpaper.jpg"]Star Wars is also acceptable if it[/url] [url="http://www.stuffwelike.com/stuffwelike/wp-content/uploads/2009/07/star-trek-inspirational-poster.jpg"]is your personal preference.[/url]

Sacred Music: Every time is the right time for some Gregorian Chant, Renaissance Polyphony, Eastern Chant, or all of the above. [url="http://i.ytimg.com/vi/IyIB3yPTivM/0.jpg"]Especially if it includes an[/url] [url="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IyIB3yPTivM"]oktavist[/url] (also known as [url="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_3TjfUFXJZQ"]basso profondo[/url]).

Black Eyed Peas: Just kidding. No Black Eyed Peas.

Iconography: See "Sacred Music".

God: Your posts should have lots of God.


HOW TO DISAGREE WITH SOMEONE (EVEN IF THEY'RE AN IDIOT):

1) Do not post yet. Re-read what they said again. Then say a prayer. I like the [url="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IoSuyUFiEYo"]Hail Holy Queen[/url].

2) Look at a [url="http://demotivationalblog.com/demotivational/2008/09/moar-because-moar.jpg"]funny/silly picture[/url]. Always post in a good mood. It'll get you into less trouble, and it'll bug the croutons out of the people you disagree with.

3) Do not make jokes unless they are at your own expense. Now is not the time.

4) Triple check for red flags and things to avoid in your post.

5) If you are in a serious yet polite and controlled debate, step two may be omitted.


HOW TO BYPASS THE FIL[u][/u]TER:

1) Insert a set of tags into the middle of the filte[s][/s]red word. For instance (leaving out spaces), to post che[s][/s]ese instead of coagulated milk, type c h e [ u ] [ / u ] e s e

2) Do not do this for profanities.

3) If you do do this for profanities, don't tell anyone that I told you how to do it.

4) If you do do this for profanities, and you tattle like a petty little tattle-tale, tell the moderators that I made you swear never to do it.


HOW TO RETRIEVE YOUR POST IF YOU LOSE YOUR INTERNET CONNECTION AFTER PRESSING "POST":

1) Throw your computer at a wall.

2) Bang your head against said wall.

3) Drink yourself into happy oblivion.


WHAT TO DO IF SOMEONE TAKES OFFENSE TO YOUR POST:

*please note order of steps*

1) Apologize sincerely.

2) Determine if you are at fault.

3) If you are at fault, apologize again, both publicly and privately.

4) Post a [url="http://mono.whatevz.net/images/Joseph_Ducreux_7_1Z8F7X0.jpg"]funny picture[/url].


AFTER POSTING:

1) Wash your hands. I'm [url="http://www.nutritionvital.info/i/products/imuran.jpg"]immunosuppressed[/url], and the world would be a happier place if people washed their hands more often.


IS POSTING WHILE NAKED ACCEPTABLE?

Only if your webcam is turned off.


COMPLIMENT OTHER MEMBERS FREQUENTLY:

1) Especially if they're Nihil Obstat.

2) How to compliment other members method one (sincerely): Select one personality trait, virtue, or other point that you observe in the other member and believe to be worthy of compliment. Bring this up sincerely, but don't overdo it.

3) How to compliment other members method two (sarcastically v.1.): Select one personality trait, virtue, or other point that you observe in the other member that is entirely unworthy of compliment. Bring this up with fake sincerity [url="http://i760.photobucket.com/albums/xx250/Liteskin18/2hcja04.jpg"]and act like[/url] [url="http://livingelpaso.files.wordpress.com/2010/03/haters.jpg"]everything's cool.[/url]

4) How to compliment other members method two (sarcastically v.2.): Select one personality trait, virtue, or other point that you observe in the other member that you believe to be worthy of compliment. Make such a huge freakin' deal about it that they're embarrassed and everyone else laughs.

5) How to compliment other members bonus method: Combine methods 3 and 4.


WHEN MAY YOU BREAK ANY OF THE ABOVE RULES?:

1) When Jesus tells you to.

2) When Mary tells you to.

3) When you have an airtight excuse of chemical impairment including but not limited to alcohol and anesthetic drugs.
[/quote]


This is an airtight case of EPIC WIN.

[IcePrincessKRS]

[quote name='Nihil Obstat' date='19 July 2010 - 01:54 AM' timestamp='1279515285' post='2144700']
Did you try holding control while clicking the link?
[/quote]

Nope... that would require effort on my part.

[quote name='Terra Firma' date='19 July 2010 - 02:00 AM' timestamp='1279515646' post='2144704']
That changed when dUSt upgraded the phorum a while back. I whined about it, and was told to push Ctrl at the same time as clicking. I never do that. I just back-click, or don't front-click at all.
[/quote]

Yeah, I did, too. lol My browser default is set to open links in a new tab but for whatever reason it doesn't work with phatmass.

[ardillacid]

-1

[Nihil Obstat]

[quote name='notardillacid' date='19 July 2010 - 12:20 AM' timestamp='1279516806' post='2144717']
-1
[/quote]
[size="7"]TL;DR!!![/size]

[Vincent Vega]

Do
Dah
Dipity.

?

jk you is win.

Edited July 19, 2010 by USAirwaysIHS

[ardillacid]

[quote name='Nihil Obstat' date='19 July 2010 - 01:24 AM' timestamp='1279517084' post='2144721']
[size="7"]TL;DR!!![/size]
[/quote]
I like that I am able to give out infinite negatives now

-1