Ug! Moar Help Please?

[JTheresa]

Okay, here's the low down:

My Aunt just had baby #8, and she's used up most of her available combinations for godparents. So she asked if me and my cousin Jennifer would be willing to be little Andrews godparents. First problem is that I don't think you can have two girls as godparents. But I'd rather not let that throw us into a debate. She's asking her pastor about it and my mom is looking it up in canon law.

Bigger issue. Religious aren't allowed to be godparents because they have a spiritual obligation to their community first. But, I'm not in religious life yet. And I've always wanted to have a little godchild, I just thought that it would be so cool to have a little child spiritual well being under my care. If I did, I would only be able to be there for the next two months and I'm not sure if that's fair to him. I don't think I could commit to being his godmother knowing that all I could really do is pray for him and send him cards and stuff.

Ug!! This is so hard!! Especially because I would love to do it!

I think i already decided no, but part of me still really wants to!!!

[laetitia crucis]

[quote name='JTheresa' date='15 July 2010 - 12:18 AM' timestamp='1279167495' post='2142854']
Okay, here's the low down:

My Aunt just had baby #8, and she's used up most of her available combinations for godparents. So she asked if me and my cousin Jennifer would be willing to be little Andrews godparents. First problem is that I don't think you can have two girls as godparents. But I'd rather not let that throw us into a debate. She's asking her pastor about it and my mom is looking it up in canon law.

Bigger issue. Religious aren't allowed to be godparents because they have a spiritual obligation to their community first. But, I'm not in religious life yet. And I've always wanted to have a little godchild, I just thought that it would be so cool to have a little child spiritual well being under my care. If I did, I would only be able to be there for the next two months and I'm not sure if that's fair to him. I don't think I could commit to being his godmother knowing that all I could really do is pray for him and send him cards and stuff.

Ug!! This is so hard!! Especially because I would love to do it!

I think i already decided no, but part of me still really wants to!!!
[/quote]

In my former community we were allowed to be godparents, particularly if we were to be the godparents of one of our relatives. When we had missions, often those that were being baptised didn't have other family members that could be there for them, so we could fill that role.

I know of at least two priests (one religious and one diocesan) that are godparents.

[laetitia crucis]

P.S. -- Congratulations to your aunt on Baby #8!!! That's WONDERFUL!!!

[OnlySunshine]

My friend entered religious life last fall and is the godmother to both her sister's children. One of the babies was born after she entered the convent. I thunk it can be done.

[cmaD2006]

I third the opinion -- you can definitely be a godparent beforehand, and there are communities that let you become godparents after entering as well. In the last community I was in it was common for the brothers/sisters to be asked to be godparents by parishioners at the parish.

What an honor!

[Vincent Vega]

[quote name='cmariadiaz' date='15 July 2010 - 01:36 AM' timestamp='1279172195' post='2142874']
What an honor!
[/quote]
I don't know who should feel more honoured - the religious, because the family thinks so highly of them, or the family, because the religious feel close enough to them that they agree to play such an important role in the child's Christian upbringing.

[Cherie]

[quote name='JTheresa' date='15 July 2010 - 12:18 AM' timestamp='1279167495' post='2142854']
Okay, here's the low down:

My Aunt just had baby #8, and she's used up most of her available combinations for godparents. So she asked if me and my cousin Jennifer would be willing to be little Andrews godparents. First problem is that I don't think you can have two girls as godparents. But I'd rather not let that throw us into a debate. She's asking her pastor about it and my mom is looking it up in canon law.

Bigger issue. Religious aren't allowed to be godparents because they have a spiritual obligation to their community first. But, I'm not in religious life yet. And I've always wanted to have a little godchild, I just thought that it would be so cool to have a little child spiritual well being under my care. If I did, I would only be able to be there for the next two months and I'm not sure if that's fair to him. I don't think I could commit to being his godmother knowing that all I could really do is pray for him and send him cards and stuff.

Ug!! This is so hard!! Especially because I would love to do it!

I think i already decided no, but part of me still really wants to!!!
[/quote]

Canon law only requires there to be one godparent, although it allows for two. Therefore, it does not matter if there are two women as godparents, or two males, or a combination. Believe me, I've done extensive research on this subject and spoken to a very reputable canon lawyer who is also a Dominican priest, so you're absolutely in the "OK" to be a godparent along with your cousin Jennifer!

Also, many communities DO allow their Sisters to be godparents, although some (like my previous community) do not. If your community does not, you are right in the fact that you are not a religious yet, and so you are indeed available to be a godparent at this time. MANY Sisters in my previous community were godparents (some even multiple times!) and had taken on that responsibility before they entered the convent.

[b]Truly, there is no better godparent than a religious![/b] It is an HONOR, and I think it would be a WONDERFUL thing for you to be a "spiritual mother" to this child! Praying for him and sending him cards is a WONDERFUL way to be a spiritual presence to this child - honestly, you will be a religious!!! Prayer is the most [i]important[/i] thing that we can do for our godchildren, and GOODNESS this child would have the prayers of a consecrated religious!!!!!!! This child will not only benefit from YOUR prayers as a religious Sister, but also that of the community, as well! Please don't think that you would not be "doing enough" for the spiritual upbringing of the child -- you will be doing MORE than most godparents could even [b]DREAM[/b] of, and CERTAINLY much, much more than most "godparents" do nowadays, who don't take their responsibility seriously at all.

I truly, honestly, 100% believe you should be one of his godparents. Please do consider it -- little Andrew will be so blessed to have you as one of his godmothers!!!

[Cherie]

Another thought that just came to me is to remember that God's timing is perfect.

If your community does not allow its Sisters to be godparents, keep in mind that you have been asked to be a godparent [i]before[/i] you entered, while you are still able to take on that responsibility ... and from all eternity, God knew that you would be asked that question, and for some reason He worked the timing out so that you would be in a position to accept.

Really, JTheresa -- I really think you should accept! What a WONDERFUL gift to have a religious as a godparent!!!

[JTheresa]

You guys are wonderful!!!! Thank you so much for all your answers! I was going to say no but all of your replies totally turned me around. The main reason I was concerned was because my future community doesn't allow Sisters to become godparents. I just read it in the little handbook they gave me. So I was knd of worried that ofi asked my vocation director she would say no since I'm practically in already. But, as it has been said, maybe this is Gods perfect timing that I would have a chance to be a godparent before I enter. Thank you for pointing that out.

Cherie, thank you for clearing up that issue with canon law. My mom was kinda freaking because she thought that it would look like we were giving in to the popular gay/lesbian acceptance that our society is so into right now. I think that we she accept them but only in a love the sinner hate the sin sort of way. And having two godparents of the same gender don't imply anything so thank you again for your answer.

Yay I'm so excited now!! Imma gonna be a godparent!!

[vee]

[quote name='JTheresa' date='14 July 2010 - 11:18 PM' timestamp='1279167495' post='2142854']


My Aunt just had baby #8,
[/quote]

When she gets to #25 she should name her Catherine

[quote name='CherieMadame' date='15 July 2010 - 04:38 AM' timestamp='1279186702' post='2142901']
Canon law only requires there to be one godparent, although it allows for two. Therefore, it does not matter if there are two women as godparents, or two males, or a combination. Believe me, I've done extensive research on this subject and spoken to a very reputable canon lawyer who is also a Dominican priest, so you're absolutely in the "OK" to be a godparent along with your cousin Jennifer!


[/quote]

Ive always wondered if it was ok for two women to be godparents because I just so happen to be a godparent to my niece along with another woman and wasnt sure if the correct thing had been done or not. Your answer really helps so thank you!

I dont know my godparents at all, and Im pretty certain they dont even go to church anymore so whoever has a priest or religious as a godparent is REALLY lucky in my books!

[Cherie]

Having done more research about this, although I did receive the information I gave you from a reputable priest who is also a canon lawyer, I feel it's my responsibility to point this out.

I asked another priest I know, and he pointed me to a link to canon law, which states that there only needs to be one godparent, but in the case of the parents of the child choosing two, they should be one female and one male.

[url="http://www.vatican.va/archive/ENG1104/__P2Y.HTM"]Link here[/url]

He said there are circumstances in which there could be two women or two men godparents, but that under normal circumstances, it should either be just one godparent, or a male and female pair.

I sincerely apologize if I have given you misinformation! Please know, however, that I was going by what I had been told by a very good priest that I trust!



[size="1"]Edit: the link didn't work the first time![/size]

Edited July 15, 2010 by CherieMadame

[krissylou]

[quote name='CherieMadame' date='15 July 2010 - 01:00 PM' timestamp='1279213237' post='2143001']
Having done more research about this, although I did receive the information I gave you from a reputable priest who is also a canon lawyer, I feel it's my responsibility to point this out.

I asked another priest I know, and he pointed me to a link to canon law, which states that there only needs to be one godparent, but in the case of the parents of the child choosing two, they should be one female and one male.

[url="http://www.vatican.va/archive/ENG1104/__P2Y.HTM"]Link here[/url]

He said there are circumstances in which there could be two women or two men godparents, but that under normal circumstances, it should either be just one godparent, or a male and female pair.

I sincerely apologize if I have given you misinformation! Please know, however, that I was going by what I had been told by a very good priest that I trust!



[size="1"]Edit: the link didn't work the first time![/size]
[/quote]

Another option that I've heard of is to have a "canonical witness" (I think that's the term) to the baptism. Looks like a godparent, sounds like a godparent, quacks like a godparent, but is a technically somewhat different category.

And you only have to have one "godparent."

So if you want to be super technical about it, your cousin could be the "godmother" and you could be a "canonical witness" (I THINK that's the term) and all the canonical ducks would be perfectly in a row and you would still essentially have the same relationship with the little munchkin -- which I agree with everyone else would be a great blessing.

[krissylou]

I've seen the "witness" category used in order to include Christian-but-not-Catholic relatives, and also I've seen it used when everyone was Catholic but the parents wanted to include three people -- a "godcommittee" as it were. They were all sloppily referred to as "godparents" but technically that was the way to structure it.

It could also be a good way to structure your situation -- you could be as sloppy or not with the precise language as you choose.

[elizabeth09]

Congratulations for your aunt on having Baby #8!!! That is WONDERFUL NEWS!

[MissScripture]

[quote name='JTheresa' date='15 July 2010 - 12:18 AM' timestamp='1279167495' post='2142854']
Okay, here's the low down:

My Aunt just had baby #8, and she's used up most of her available combinations for godparents. So she asked if me and my cousin Jennifer would be willing to be little Andrews godparents. First problem is that I don't think you can have two girls as godparents. But I'd rather not let that throw us into a debate. She's asking her pastor about it and my mom is looking it up in canon law.

Bigger issue. Religious aren't allowed to be godparents because they have a spiritual obligation to their community first. But, I'm not in religious life yet. And I've always wanted to have a little godchild, I just thought that it would be so cool to have a little child spiritual well being under my care. If I did, I would only be able to be there for the next two months and I'm not sure if that's fair to him. [b]I don't think I could commit to being his godmother knowing that all I could really do is pray for him and send him cards and stuff. [/b]

Ug!! This is so hard!! Especially because I would love to do it!

I think i already decided no, but part of me still really wants to!!!
[/quote]
First, like everyone else said, you're not a religious yet, and therefore are able to be a Godparent.
I really felt the need to comment, though on the part I bolded. Praying is a HUGE deal. That can be more powerful than anything else! Plus, being a relgious, you would be a constant witness to a life dedicated to Christ to your Godchild. As far as sending him stuff goes, my sister is the Godmother of our niece, and she is taking her last few months before she enters to search the Catholic bookstores and such and collect things for my mom to send to our niece at the appropriate times (religious picture books, prayer cards, etc). Plus, what my sister has that she won't be taking with her to the convent, she will eventually give to her Goddaughter. So, that's a thought, too, if that's something you are concerned about.