Orders Open To Those With Mental/emotional Weakness?

[Sarah147]

Hello everyone. [img]http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/public/style_emoticons/default/D.gif[/img]

I was wondering if people here could share with me orders for women that are accepting of people with mental/emotional weakness (in particular, that have had a few temporary bouts of mental/emotional weakness in the past due to major stress)? I know most say they want strong mental health. Someone told me that smaller communities would probably be more apt to take a chance on me than a bigger order that can afford to be picky. And I would say that right now that I am healthy and normal, I've just had two difficulties in the past. Of course there is always the chance it could happen again, but I am in councelling about it. I'm just not so sure what orders would be merciful towards me about this. I have been discerning the religious life for a few years now and I feel called to the life. Right now I'm trying to grow spiritually and focus on silence and prayer. I'm still discerning what kind of order and so forth. I was given good advice from a priest recently that timing is very important. After visiting a lot of convents (I haven't told any about my issue but one but it wasn't the right order for me), and lots of prayer, thinking and living, I don't feel grown enough yet to leave my loved ones and make that serious commitment, nor councelled enough to handle future stressors. It is like a marriage, so I see it very seriously, I mean even at aspirancy. I feel like once I leave this life and enter somewhere, it feels for sure and no leaving.

Please let me know what you know. I really appreciate your help, whatever you know.

God bless you.

[Sarah147]

I just want to add that it wasn't just major stress, but seems to be a bad environment growing up that didn't teach good coping skills. So councelling and having good friendships has been helping.

[Sarah147]

I also wanted to add that it sure gives me a lot of hope to look at people like Fr. Corapi who was into drugs, alcohol, etc. and spent an entire year in the mental hospital. And Fr. Donald Calloway with the Divine Mercy in MA, USA who had a drug history and was taken off a plane by guards, spitting and fighting them. When he applied to the Divine Mercy, the woman told him it would be a miracle if he was accepted and look at him now! God is so merciful and so good.

[CatherineM]

My husband works with the lay missionaries at the Marian Centre here. They are part of the International Madonna House Apostolate. They take those with all sorts of disabilities. They have missions all over the world, and have a primary mission of service to the poor. They aren't a religious order, but take vows of poverty, chastity, and obedience, and they act like religious brothers and sisters, except they don't wear habits. They are as devoted and holy as any member of a religious order I've ever met.

[Starets]

Actually it is the biggfer orders and communities that would be more willing to take on someone with weaknesses of any sort. Mych like in the wpork sorld a large employer is more likely to hire, say a blind person than a small employer. The small employer might not think that it can adapt to having one around. I used to be blind so I spoeak from experience both in terms of employers and orders/communities. There is anew benedictine foundation in the orlando area that is willing to accept guys with handicaps. Right now they are working with their bishiop ti get proper recognitions. They want to be Trappist when they grow up. I cannot think of their name offhand but ive mentioned them here before.

[Sarah147]

Staretz, well the idea behind what my friend said was that small orders are desperate to get applicants whereas big orders get lots of people interested and so they can afford to be picky.

[laetitia crucis]

I think I've heard the [url="http://www.rsmofalma.org/"]Religious Sisters of Mercy[/url] in Alma, Michigan are open about accepting people with a history of mental/emotional illness/weakness. However, I could be wrong... Perhaps others on here with have more insight.

[Cherie]

I would suggest praying about it, speaking with a good spiritual director, keep going to counseling, and contact the Vocation Directress of any communities you may be interested in. Be honest about your situation. Many communities accept people on a "case-by-case" basis -- so if you visit and the community feels that God is indeed calling you to join them (and of course you feel the same way), they could accept applicants who have a mild "impediment" to religious life, such as depression or a mild type of chronic illness. Don't be ashamed of your situation. God has let that happen for a reason, and if it is His will that you become a religious, He will find a way!

I wouldn't necessarily agree with the idea that smaller communities are "desperate" for applicants, and so will accept more people with impediments because they just want numbers. For smaller communities, they need a very firm foundation, and so often they will be even stricter in the criteria for accepting applicants than in larger communities who have the resources and strong foundation as a community to deal with the problems of applicants with what more "picky" (for lack of a better word) communities would consider "impediments".

[MissScripture]

[quote name='JoyfulLife' date='03 July 2010 - 03:13 PM' timestamp='1278184405' post='2137448']
Hello everyone. [img]http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/public/style_emoticons/default/D.gif[/img]

I was wondering if people here could share with me orders for women that are accepting of people with mental/emotional weakness (in particular, that have had a few temporary bouts of mental/emotional weakness in the past due to major stress)? I know most say they want strong mental health. Someone told me that smaller communities would probably be more apt to take a chance on me than a bigger order that can afford to be picky. And I would say that right now that I am healthy and normal, I've just had two difficulties in the past. Of course there is always the chance it could happen again, but I am in councelling about it. I'm just not so sure what orders would be merciful towards me about this. I have been discerning the religious life for a few years now and I feel called to the life. Right now I'm trying to grow spiritually and focus on silence and prayer. I'm still discerning what kind of order and so forth. I was given good advice from a priest recently that timing is very important. After visiting a lot of convents (I haven't told any about my issue but one but it wasn't the right order for me), and lots of prayer, thinking and living, I don't feel grown enough yet to leave my loved ones and make that serious commitment, nor councelled enough to handle future stressors. It is like a marriage, so I see it very seriously, I mean even at aspirancy. I feel like once I leave this life and enter somewhere, it feels for sure and no leaving.

Please let me know what you know. I really appreciate your help, whatever you know.

God bless you.
[/quote]

First, prayers for your discernment! What an exciting time!

Second, I would say, follow where God leads you. He won't ask the impossible of you, so He will find a place that will accept your application. That isn't to say don't look, of course, just don't stress about it. It's also good that you are self-aware enough to know that you've not yet grown enough to make the committment. And no matter what happens, better coping skills are always beneficial!

Also, I am not saying you are or would think this, but just try to remember that if you're not accepted based on that, it isn't because they have something against people with mental/emotional issues, but that they may not have the resources to handle it, or they feel the way they do things may be too stressful for certain people.

[littlesister]

The Visitation was founded in thinking about those who could not take the rigors of monastic life at that time. Take a look. Best wishes!

[LaboureSociety]

The interesting thing is that often those who gain coping skills are much more emotionally healthy than those that never do -even though it took a rough patch to 'force' them into receiving help! God's Blessings to you!

[Sarah147]

Thank you all for your posts. It has given me so much hope.

Do any of you think it would scare an order away if I told in the first contact with them? I really am normal and have things about me an order would want, so I'm just wondering if to get them interested in me by visiting and telling them later on. But yet I also don't want to delay discernment by learning later on what they think about it.

Also, I was wondering, I don't feel ready to enter anywhere for at least a year or more, plus with me health I would have to wait at least a year anyway with the health help I 'm undergoing. With my age, there are certain orders that I only have a few years left before the cut-off, too. What I'm wondering is, if I were to visit an order I might later discern a call to, is it okay to afterward admit the timing isn't right yet, and I'll try again in the near future? I ask because I heard that with some orders they only give so much discernment time after a try-out, and then they won't allow any entrance. The case I'm talking about isn't about it not being the place, but not the right timing.

[CatherineM]

Take it like you would a first date. If it is something important enough to mention on a first date, then tell them. Otherwise, you will know when the time is right. If asked of course, be completely straight forward about it.

[Cherie]

[quote name='JoyfulLife' date='05 July 2010 - 06:17 PM' timestamp='1278368220' post='2138099']
Thank you all for your posts. It has given me so much hope.

Do any of you think it would scare an order away if I told in the first contact with them? I really am normal and have things about me an order would want, so I'm just wondering if to get them interested in me by visiting and telling them later on. But yet I also don't want to delay discernment by learning later on what they think about it.

Also, I was wondering, I don't feel ready to enter anywhere for at least a year or more, plus with me health I would have to wait at least a year anyway with the health help I 'm undergoing. With my age, there are certain orders that I only have a few years left before the cut-off, too. What I'm wondering is, if I were to visit an order I might later discern a call to, is it okay to afterward admit the timing isn't right yet, and I'll try again in the near future? I ask because I heard that with some orders they only give so much discernment time after a try-out, and then they won't allow any entrance. The case I'm talking about isn't about it not being the place, but not the right timing.
[/quote]

No, I don't think it would "scare away" an Order, but rather, you would both be honest and upfront about your situation - if they don't accept applicants in your situation, they would let you know, and you could rest assured that that would be God letting you know to try somewhere else. Don't think of it as them being "scared away," think of it as them helping you to hone down your discernment to the right community!

If the timing doesn't feel right to you, that's PERFECTLY ok! Pray about it, be open to God's will, and He will guide you to where He wants you, WHEN He wants you.

I think perhaps what you might be referring to is the fact that yes, some communities don't accept applicants after a certain age. But I know many of those communities will accept someone, even after they've reached "that age", because they have been discerning with the community for a number of months, even years. The community gets to know you, you get to know the community, and oftentimes it's on a case-by-case basis.

[kljoyce]

Re: I was wondering if people here could share with me orders for women...


Hi =) I think it's great that you are discerning. I will pray for you and I hope all the best for you. Many people of all different walks of life and experiences have joined religious orders, so stay strong and know that God's ineffable plan is behind everything if you encounter resistance or any disappointments. I am sure you will encounter setbacks, or have some houses decline to offer you a place-- but trials (in mundane and discerning life) prove your sincerity, your perseverance, and the unbreakable strength of the goodness of your soul. So whether you end up joining a group or decide to stay in regular life, I hope you are happy and blessed. I myself have had to stay strong in the face of problems like this -- but in just a little time all the stuff that happened in my past faded away, and seemed more and more insignificant as time went on and I was closer and closer to God. Etc Sorry for rambling! God bless you.