Facing Struggles

[krissylou]

[quote name='MaterMisericordiae' date='29 June 2010 - 07:28 AM' timestamp='1277810887' post='2135725']
I always thought that a chaplain was supposed to be a priest, not a lay person. I would love to do something to help people in their time of need and pray for them. That'd be sublime!
[/quote]

I can speak to this. Catholic jargon is a little different from the rest of the world on this one. In Catholicspeak, a "chaplain" must be a priest. (Or maybe a deacon, I'm not sure on that little detail.)

HOWEVER, it is perfectly fine and wonderful for a Sister or a layperson to be a lay minister who exercises a "ministry of presence" who comforts people and prays with and for people and many institutions refer to this as a "chaplain."

The long and the short of it is, there are lots of Sisters and laypeople who fill these roles as Catholics, and I wouldn't get too worked up about the vocabulary if I were you!

[laetitia crucis]

[quote name='MaterMisericordiae' date='29 June 2010 - 07:32 AM' timestamp='1277811163' post='2135726']
The more I think about it, the more I realize that my unit manager is just taking the easy way out. Instead of training me to be better, she's talking me out of what I'm passionate about. I shouldn't give her this much power over my life, especially if I felt before all of this that God was calling me to be a nurse. I need to learn to trust a heck of a lot better!

BTW, I got the day off today since we were overstaffed so I'm going to be going around doing job hunting. I could sure use the prayers.
[/quote]

You have my prayers, MM! I'll give you a shout-out to St. Joseph!

[Cherie]

[quote name='MaterMisericordiae' date='29 June 2010 - 07:32 AM' timestamp='1277811163' post='2135726'] I shouldn't give her this much power over my life, especially if I felt before all of this that God was calling me to be a nurse. I need to learn to trust a heck of a lot better!

[/quote]

I absolutely agree with those statements.

I know you've already gotten some great advice from people, but from reading your story, I definitely get the impression that the LPN was out of line saying what she did. Did she give concrete examples to you of why it doesn't "come naturally" to you? I don't know your work environment, but I definitely agree with others that you should take her comments with a grain of salt.

I truly think you should continue to pursue nursing. It obviously makes you happy, it's work that you enjoy, and you truly feel like it's what God wants you to be doing. I can't tell you HOW many times other people have discouraged me from what I really felt like God was calling me to do ... and it was a hard decision to keep trusting Him and keep pursuing my goal. But God always provided, and in the end, I was always very glad I trusted Him and kept going!

Sometimes, yes, God uses these situations to turn us in a different direction. But remember also, the devil can use situations like that to try and keep us from God's will, and/or discourage us. Prayer, keeping close to the Sacraments is so important for things like this - but keep your chin up, trust in Him, and be assured of our prayers for you, as well.

[OnlySunshine]

[quote name='laetitia crucis' date='29 June 2010 - 08:19 AM' timestamp='1277813988' post='2135730']
You have my prayers, MM! I'll give you a shout-out to St. Joseph!
[/quote]



Thank you!

[quote name='CherieMadame' date='29 June 2010 - 08:31 AM' timestamp='1277814687' post='2135732']
I absolutely agree with those statements.

I know you've already gotten some great advice from people, but from reading your story, I definitely get the impression that the LPN was out of line saying what she did. Did she give concrete examples to you of why it doesn't "come naturally" to you? I don't know your work environment, but I definitely agree with others that you should take her comments with a grain of salt.

I truly think you should continue to pursue nursing. It obviously makes you happy, it's work that you enjoy, and you truly feel like it's what God wants you to be doing. I can't tell you HOW many times other people have discouraged me from what I really felt like God was calling me to do ... and it was a hard decision to keep trusting Him and keep pursuing my goal. But God always provided, and in the end, I was always very glad I trusted Him and kept going!

Sometimes, yes, God uses these situations to turn us in a different direction. But remember also, the devil can use situations like that to try and keep us from God's will, and/or discourage us. Prayer, keeping close to the Sacraments is so important for things like this - but keep your chin up, trust in Him, and be assured of our prayers for you, as well.
[/quote]



Sometimes, I think I know these things deep down, but it takes another person to tell me before I listen. Thanks!

[stlmom]

I'd like to add my 2 cents to the mountain of support for you, MM. If you have a passion for caring for sick and disabled persons, pursue it. In my 32 years as an occupational therapist (with experience in nursing home work), I can tell you that you can always build up your skill level, but it is a gift and a vocation in itself to have a heart for those in poor health. I encourage you to continue down this path and see where it leads you, be it still as a CNA (the most underestimated caregivers in my book) or as a nurse or other type of caregiver, and especially as a member of a religious community. Try to shake off that LPN's remarks, especially as she couldn't give you any useful feedback.

Edited June 29, 2010 by stlmom

[Antigonos]

Just chiming in here, as a certified nurse midwife for 40 years.

Without knowing precisely why your nursing superior called you in twice, I can't speculate about what has made her think you're unsuited for nursing. I'm not sure I know why she feels it is her business to tell you so. But I can tell you that nursing is very different from being a nursing auxilliary, especially now when nursing has become an academic degree profession. Perhaps the science courses would, in her opinion, be too formidable? If so, only if you take some and see how you do, will you know. These days, to become a registered nurse, it takes money, quite a lot of time (4 to 6 years), and a lot of concentration and brains, as well as stamina. But no education is ever wasted.

Remember that nursing is a PROFESSION, not a VOCATION. Perhaps she feels you are too involved with your patients; detachment [NOT indifference!] is essential in nursing. Perhaps she feels that your vocation or religious feelings are interfering with your professional duties. I really don't know. If you'd like to p-mail me I'd be glad to continue this discussion offlist if you prefer.

When you enter religious life, you will not be able to choose what you do. Even in a community whose apostolate is nursing, there will be sisters who do not work in nursing, and your religious superior might well think you are needed somewhere else or are better suited to a different task.

In any case, I don't think you should take a single opinion so seriously. But if you can discuss with her why she particularly feels you aren't suited, it might help clarify your thoughts.

[Divine Mercy 9999]

[quote name='osapientia' date='28 June 2010 - 10:22 PM' timestamp='1277781746' post='2135657']
Sounds like a plan...maybe you just need a break from the physical. CNA work is hard work. Been there...worked my way through school that way. You might also consider a CNA position in a different type of facility...acute care hospitals while the same in many ways are also very different from Nursing Homes. CNA duties are still physical but depending upon the unit you might actually find yourself with a growing interest in a particular type of care...you could likely be exposed to a lot more than you would be in long term care.

Pax,
Osap.
[/quote]
This is good advice... I did CNA work at both hospitals and nursing homes - they are very different. Also, I worked as a Medication Aide at two of the nursing homes - that might be an option if they have them in your state.

[img]http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/public/style_emoticons/default/bigpray.gif[/img] [img]http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/public/style_emoticons/default/bigpray.gif[/img]

[MarieLynn]

[quote name='Antigonos' date='30 June 2010 - 03:55 AM' timestamp='1277823306' post='2135763']
Just chiming in here, as a certified nurse midwife for 40 years.

Without knowing precisely why your nursing superior called you in twice, I can't speculate about what has made her think you're unsuited for nursing. I'm not sure I know why she feels it is her business to tell you so. But I can tell you that nursing is very different from being a nursing auxilliary, especially now when nursing has become an academic degree profession. Perhaps the science courses would, in her opinion, be too formidable? If so, only if you take some and see how you do, will you know. These days, to become a registered nurse, it takes money, quite a lot of time (4 to 6 years), and a lot of concentration and brains, as well as stamina. But no education is ever wasted.

Remember that nursing is a PROFESSION, not a VOCATION. Perhaps she feels you are too involved with your patients; detachment [NOT indifference!] is essential in nursing. Perhaps she feels that your vocation or religious feelings are interfering with your professional duties. I really don't know. If you'd like to p-mail me I'd be glad to continue this discussion offlist if you prefer.

When you enter religious life, you will not be able to choose what you do. Even in a community whose apostolate is nursing, there will be sisters who do not work in nursing, and your religious superior might well think you are needed somewhere else or are better suited to a different task.

In any case, I don't think you should take a single opinion so seriously. But if you can discuss with her why she particularly feels you aren't suited, it might help clarify your thoughts.


[/quote]


That is such good advice!! As someone who was in Religious Life for a period, we were unable to to choose what we did, even tho' our apostolate was Nursing. We had Sisters in the Laundry, Kitchen, Sewing Room and Chapel. They may have yearned to work with the patients in the Hospital, but our Superior would send us where she felt we were needed or better suited. After I returned home, I started at the bottom as a Nursing Assistant, and now 40 yrs on, and many years of study behind me, am an RN. Who was to say back then whether the Order would have sent me to do my Nursing training, even tho' I expressed the desire to become a Nurse. I could well have ended up working as the Sister in charge of the Kitchen! We actually had a Novice who was a qualified midwife before she entered, and she gave us lectures on "the workings of the Reproductive System", but was told that she may or may not be allowed to practise as a Nurse after she Professed her Vows - it was up to the Superior as to where she was placed!!

[Mary Veronica]

[quote name='angelofmary' date='28 June 2010 - 10:22 PM' timestamp='1277772769' post='2135567']
Take sometime before the Blessed Sacrament and hand all this to God, through Our Blessed Mother asking her to intercede before her son, to whom He will never refuse anything. Life is full of trials and is not easy, but when we take our crosses and use them for good then all will fall into place, as long as we remain united to Gods Will for us. Trust, surrender, believe and receive.....HE Loves you so much....never forget that!
[/quote]

Yes, keep running to the Blessed Sacrament and Mother Mary! Also, we will keep your loving desires in our prayers....

[OnlySunshine]

To all those who have mentioned that I won't be able to choose what I will do in the monastery or convent, I appreciate this reality. I know that even if I go in a nursing order, I could very well be told to do something else. This doesn't dissuade me from looking, however, at the Dominican Sisters of Hawthorne. I feel very attracted to their way of life. I wish that I was able to go there this summer as I had originally planned with Sr. Alma Marie, but since I am job hunting yet again, now is not the right time. God-willing, I will get there soon!

Also, I am not discounting the cloistered life. There are several Dominican monasteries that are particularly attractive including the Summit Dominicans, West Springfield Dominicans, and those in Marbury.

[CatherineM]

I have a friend from church who does bereavement work at the children's hospital. She works out of the Chaplain's office. I don't know how she does it though.

[stlmom]

[quote name='MaterMisericordiae' date='29 June 2010 - 08:54 PM' timestamp='1277859286' post='2135978']
To all those who have mentioned that I won't be able to choose what I will do in the monastery or convent, I appreciate this reality. I know that even if I go in a nursing order, I could very well be told to do something else. This doesn't dissuade me from looking, however, at the Dominican Sisters of Hawthorne. I feel very attracted to their way of life. I wish that I was able to go there this summer as I had originally planned with Sr. Alma Marie, but since I am job hunting yet again, now is not the right time. God-willing, I will get there soon!

Also, I am not discounting the cloistered life. There are several Dominican monasteries that are particularly attractive including the Summit Dominicans, West Springfield Dominicans, and those in Marbury.
[/quote]


I don't know much about the Hawthorne Dominicans except from their website and an appearance they made a while back on EWTN, but I was very impressed by their charism. I hope you eventually make that visit. The Summit nuns are very visible on the internet and currently have a full novitiate. Hopefully, they will all go on to final profession. I receive the Marbury newsletter and know that they are a small and very traditional monastery. I would love to see them with a full novitiate someday.

[OnlySunshine]

[quote name='stlmom' date='29 June 2010 - 10:43 PM' timestamp='1277865816' post='2136022']
I don't know much about the Hawthorne Dominicans except from their website and an appearance they made a while back on EWTN, but I was very impressed by their charism. [b]I hope you eventually make that visit.[/b] The Summit nuns are very visible on the internet and currently have a full novitiate. Hopefully, they will all go on to final profession. I receive the Marbury newsletter and know that they are a small and very traditional monastery. I would love to see them with a full novitiate someday.
[/quote]

I really hope so too. I was set on going at the end of August, but God appears to have different plans for me at this time. I trust He will get me there when the time is right.

BTW, have you ever looked at the Dominican Nuns of West Springfield, MA's website? They are gorgeous! I LOVE looking at their website and I really would love to go there.

http://www.vocationws.com/

[IgnatiusofLoyola]

[quote name='MaterMisericordiae' date='30 June 2010 - 10:20 PM' timestamp='1277954448' post='2136471']
I really hope so too. I was set on going at the end of August, but God appears to have different plans for me at this time. I trust He will get me there when the time is right.

BTW, have you ever looked at the Dominican Nuns of West Springfield, MA's website? They are gorgeous! I LOVE looking at their website and I really would love to go there. [img]http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/public/style_emoticons/default/smile.gif[/img]

[url="http://www.vocationws.com/"]http://www.vocationws.com/[/url]
[/quote]

I've never visited this Web site before, and it does look lovely--both the setting and the nuns themselves. And, what a gorgeous church!

I know this is shallow, but I like their habits. In general, I like the look of a wimple (or is it a guimpe?), but the wimple worn by some Orders looks stiff, heavily starched, and uncomfortable. But, the wimple of this habit looks soft and comfortable (although, it's so close to their mouth, if I wore one, mine would have permanent food stains). Would keep me humble, I guess. And, I'd have to (finally) learn how to eat neatly, although, since I haven't learned to eat neatly by now, I may be a hopeless case. I'd have to go on a "white food only" diet. [img]http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/public/style_emoticons/default/cool.gif[/img]

I hope their Web site brings some new vocations.

[laetitia crucis]

[quote name='MaterMisericordiae' date='30 June 2010 - 11:20 PM' timestamp='1277954448' post='2136471']
I really hope so too. I was set on going at the end of August, but God appears to have different plans for me at this time. I trust He will get me there when the time is right.

BTW, have you ever looked at the Dominican Nuns of West Springfield, MA's website? They are gorgeous! I LOVE looking at their website and I really would love to go there.

http://www.vocationws.com/
[/quote]

Oh wow -- I had never heard of these nuns before! If I were discerning a cloistered contemplative vocation, I do believe I would have to check these nuns out.