Desperation

[Marie-Therese]

Don't feel bad about coming to a Catholic phorum and requesting prayer for a real need from other Catholics. God directed you here for some reason.

You have my prayers for your friend, and I will ask St. Dymphna's intercession for her as well.

Also, I know that she seems to be dealing with some substantial mental illness, but is it possible that there may be some demonic influence? Does she have any history with the occult or something of that nature? Her vitriol toward religion is sometimes an indicator of something spiritually wrong. I know that, on occasion, people who suffer from mental illness can be prey to the demonic because they have inherent distrust of their own impulses. I know that seems to be a farfetched scenario, but don't discount it entirely. I would speak to a priest you trust and ask his advice.

May God grant you strength and grace to continue to be a good friend, and may He have mercy upon her troubled heart. Much love and prayers to you.

[icelandic_iceskater]

woah. A couple friends of mine and I got into a similar relationship with a girl years back. Her best friend (who we also talked to) was dying, her parents were abusive, she had a daughter, was suicidal, etc. After she came to visit, we found out she was simply weaving a quilt of lies to cover up her real issues, and at our distance we just couldn't help her. And this realization hurts.
[quote name='Ice_nine' date='27 June 2010 - 11:57 AM' timestamp='1277650636' post='2134867']
it is taking a toll on me for sure.
[/quote]
Then step back. You said she's on meds, does this mean she has help in her area? If she does, maybe you need to try to step back? At your distance, all you can provide for her are prayers and someone to talk to. With the depth of her issues, she needs professional help. Over half of what people really communicate is read in body language, tone of voice, and facial expressions. These don't translate online. Ditto to previous posters, she needs someone in her town. Gosh, sounds like you're in a tough, heartbreaking situation. You have my prayers.

[Ice_nine]

[quote name='Marie-Therese' date='27 June 2010 - 09:31 PM' timestamp='1277685095' post='2135134']
Don't feel bad about coming to a Catholic phorum and requesting prayer for a real need from other Catholics. God directed you here for some reason. [img]http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/public/style_emoticons/default/console.gif[/img]

You have my prayers for your friend, and I will ask St. Dymphna's intercession for her as well.

Also, I know that she seems to be dealing with some substantial mental illness, but is it possible that there may be some demonic influence? Does she have any history with the occult or something of that nature? Her vitriol toward religion is sometimes an indicator of something spiritually wrong. I know that, on occasion, people who suffer from mental illness can be prey to the demonic because they have inherent distrust of their own impulses. I know that seems to be a farfetched scenario, but don't discount it entirely. I would speak to a priest you trust and ask his advice.

May God grant you strength and grace to continue to be a good friend, and may He have mercy upon her troubled heart. Much love and prayers to you.
[/quote]

I suppose anything is certainly possible, although I recall her saying that she had accidently stopped taking her meds one week, and that was when she stopped believing in God, which is why I tend to believe it's more mental health related. Also she's from an area where the representation of Christianity is more of the "feel-good" variety which can really grate on the nerves of onlookers who are in immense pain. That's my conjecture.

I appreciate the prayers and kind words. God bless you.

[quote name='icelandic_iceskater' date='27 June 2010 - 10:51 PM' timestamp='1277689873' post='2135180']
woah. A couple friends of mine and I got into a similar relationship with a girl years back. Her best friend (who we also talked to) was dying, her parents were abusive, she had a daughter, was suicidal, etc. After she came to visit, we found out she was simply weaving a quilt of lies to cover up her real issues, and at our distance we just couldn't help her. And this realization hurts.

Then step back. You said she's on meds, does this mean she has help in her area? If she does, maybe you need to try to step back? At your distance, all you can provide for her are prayers and someone to talk to. With the depth of her issues, she needs professional help. Over half of what people really communicate is read in body language, tone of voice, and facial expressions. These don't translate online. Ditto to previous posters, she needs someone in her town. Gosh, sounds like you're in a tough, heartbreaking situation. You have my prayers.
[/quote]

Well me and this person had already met in real life, we frequently talk on the phone, rarely skype, and we'll be visiting each other twice this summer. It's not solely online communication, and I understand what you mean, I really do, but I politely ask that you reserve your bias and assumptions. It's not a typical online-friendship.

I am aware she needs professional help, and so is she, but actually I know that the process of getting help, the first step, can seem more daunting than death or simply living with the problem. Also, I live near Boston so there is an abundance of mental-health resources so I was able to get help whereas people who live in more rural parts tend to have a harder time finding adequate mental-health care.

They tell you how to handle this stuff in school, in PSAs and whatnot but when you're in the situation it seems infinitely more complicated. I appreciate your concern and prayers truly. God bless you as well.

[-L-]

Ice_nine, I really admire your devotion to helping this person, I know what its like dealing with people with erratic behavior and it can get tiring, but if its someone you love then it becomes a pleasure rather than a burden it seems.

You mention how she is suicidal, if she is indeed truly suicidal, I think that she needs to be given a reason not to commit it. Maybe that reason is you? that friendship you have with her could be the string she is not ready to cut by succumbing to the permanent "solution" of suicide. I think the best thing you can do for her is to remain close friends and be that person she can talk to and lean on in a manner of speaking. You don't have to hit her over the head with religiously oriented things right now, but just try and be the best friend you can to her, and if she is ever curious about opening her mind to the concept of God and spirituality perhaps you could explain your faith to her. love can sometimes be the greatest form of therapy, when someone knows they are loved i t will affect their attitude and the way they think.

I just think she needs someone to help prop her up until she can gain a good footing on life. And it seems by all account that you are doing a good job by helping her with this.

Both of you will be in my prayers.

[Rebecca2009]

A lot of things you've said about your friend remind me of someone close to me. I know how hard things like this can be.

Everyone here has already given good advice. I just pray Jesus will help you to trust HIM so you don't feel the weight of all of this burden. Only He can carry this, and carry both of you.

We all place her in His hands.

[Ice_nine]

Thank you both. Christ is merciful. This can be conquered.