Children Should Not Have Best Friends

[Semper Catholic]

It's kind of something you grow out of. Dudes don't really have best friends once they hit high school and college.

[Winchester]

Mankind has made it this far without pyschologists.

[jeffpugh]

[quote name='Semper Catholic' date='17 June 2010 - 05:27 PM' timestamp='1276810074' post='2130626']
It's kind of something you grow out of. Dudes don't really have best friends once they hit high school and college.
[/quote]
False. I know many guys who have best friends still. They're like wingmen, you know?




Anywho, I'm going out on a limb here, but I think this mentality is logical to the "gay culture" that is propping up today. It's sort of "how can two people really be good friends without wanting to have sex?" sort of thing. Or at least, it's that way underneath. There's either a phobia that best friendship turns SSA or perhaps the SSA group want the traditional BF pairs to be in their image.

[Semper Catholic]

[quote name='Sacred Music Man' date='17 June 2010 - 04:33 PM' timestamp='1276810414' post='2130632']
False. I know many guys who have best friends still. They're like wingmen, you know?




Anywho, I'm going out on a limb here, but I think this mentality is logical to the "gay culture" that is propping up today. It's sort of "how can two people really be good friends without wanting to have sex?" sort of thing. Or at least, it's that way underneath. There's either a phobia that best friendship turns SSA or perhaps the SSA group want the traditional BF pairs to be in their image.





[/quote]

Yeah but most dudes have more then one bro that they hang out with.

I don't know my girlfriend has a best friend who is her "lobster" because lobsters mate for life. I've got 5-6 bros who I hangout with on a regular basis, but just hanging out with just you and one guy when you're in your 20's is awkward.

[jeffpugh]

[quote name='Semper Catholic' date='17 June 2010 - 05:39 PM' timestamp='1276810776' post='2130638']
Yeah but most dudes have more then one bro that they hang out with.

I don't know my girlfriend has a best friend who is her "lobster" because lobsters mate for life. I've got 5-6 bros who I hangout with on a regular basis, but just hanging out with just you and one guy when you're in your 20's is awkward.
[/quote]
Oh, I see what you mean. In my experience, my friends who have BFs aren't exclusively hanging out, but they do man stuff, like biking across Australia, etc. They usually team up 4 v 2 or something when we do airsoft fights in a barn at midnight.

[Bennn]

To be honest, if I had kids I'd rather teach them not to join the mass murder of abortion and the decay of our culture rather than depriving them of having a best friend.

+Pax Domini,
Ben

[rachael]

stupid.

[Geras16]

I think there's a much better focus than why Children should or should not have best friends: When is it good to have best friends and not to have best friends?

Like David and Johnathon, it was good that they were best friends because they had such pure love in their hearts, which even reached out towards Saul who was the antagonist in their relationship.

I think, if you can't love your enemies, and you call someone or everyone your bestfriend, you're deceiving others as well as yourself. kids need to learn to love their enemies as Jesus did and does. so that whoever befriends them is simply, blessed.

[Norseman82]

[quote name='Semper Catholic' date='17 June 2010 - 05:27 PM' timestamp='1276810074' post='2130626']
It's kind of something you grow out of. Dudes don't really have best friends once they hit high school and college.
[/quote]

This might be a bit off topic, but one of the concepts that evangelical protestantism has contributed in the past 20 years or so is that of an accountability partner - one person that can help keep you on the "straight and narrow" in areas of life. So, in [i]that[/i] sense, having a "best friend" in adulthood is something the Church - and society - should actually encourage.

[Wikitiki]

 [quote name='homeschoolmom' date='17 June 2010 - 03:06 PM' timestamp='1276801592' post='2130564']
Honestly, I think there are only a few situations in which adults should get involved in their children's social lives:

helping the lonely child expand his/her social circle

[/quote]

And of course, there's a fine line between "helping when lonely" and "pushing to make friends a child doesn't want."

Maybe this isn't healthy, or maybe it's just me, but I've never really felt a need to make close friends since around the time puberty hit. My mom was pretty unnerved by my sudden withdrawal, understandably. I've tried to talk with her over and over again about the way I feel, but from time to time she still makes me do things that force me to be in social situations. (I do have friends, but few have ever stepped foot in my house or gone much of anywhere with me. They're sort of "school-only" friends.)

[homeschoolmom]

[quote name='Wikitiki' date='18 June 2010 - 07:21 AM' timestamp='1276860116' post='2130819']
 

And of course, there's a fine line between "helping when lonely" and "pushing to make friends a child doesn't want."

Maybe this isn't healthy, or maybe it's just me, but I've never really felt a need to make close friends since around the time puberty hit. My mom was pretty unnerved by my sudden withdrawal, understandably. I've tried to talk with her over and over again about the way I feel, but from time to time she still makes me do things that force me to be in social situations. (I do have friends, but few have ever stepped foot in my house or gone much of anywhere with me. They're sort of "school-only" friends.)
[/quote]
Of course. I meant something of the, "offer to sign your kid up for an outside of school activity that s/he may like and find some like-minded friends" variety not "force child to speak to every child in his school until he finds a new friend" sort. Sometimes kids just don't click with those who happen to be living in the neighborhood and it is nice if the parents recognize this and offer to help the child move beyond the neighborhood-- if s/he is unhappy.

[Sojourner]

[quote name='Norseman82' date='17 June 2010 - 10:14 PM' timestamp='1276834471' post='2130764']
This might be a bit off topic, but one of the concepts that evangelical protestantism has contributed in the past 20 years or so is that of an accountability partner - one person that can help keep you on the "straight and narrow" in areas of life. So, in [i]that[/i] sense, having a "best friend" in adulthood is something the Church - and society - should actually encourage.
[/quote]
I had a small group of women I met with for several years (before moving to MN) and we served this role in each others' lives. Frankly I long for that kind of relationship now. My husband obviously is my closest "friend" but there is something valuable in having a friend or two with a mutual commitment to pray for one another and to speak the truth to one another, call out sin, etc.

As far as children go, I think it's important to encourage your children to be socially active and aware, but you have to accommodate the differences in personalities. Some children are naturally going to gravitate towards larger groups of friends, while others will only feel comfortable really being open with one or two other kids. I think it's important to listen to your child and respond to what he or she is comfortable with, socially, while still providing opportunities to grow.

[Era Might]

[quote name='Norseman82' date='18 June 2010 - 12:14 AM' timestamp='1276834471' post='2130764']
This might be a bit off topic, but one of the concepts that evangelical protestantism has contributed in the past 20 years or so is that of an accountability partner - one person that can help keep you on the "straight and narrow" in areas of life. So, in [i]that[/i] sense, having a "best friend" in adulthood is something the Church - and society - should actually encourage.
[/quote]
I started a new thread about adult friendship:

http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/index.php?showtopic=106170

[Hassan]

[quote name='Sacred Music Man' date='17 June 2010 - 05:33 PM' timestamp='1276810414' post='2130632']
False. I know many guys who have best friends still. They're like wingmen, you know?




Anywho, I'm going out on a limb here, but I think this mentality is logical to the "gay culture" that is propping up today. It's sort of "how can two people really be good friends without wanting to have sex?" sort of thing. Or at least, it's that way underneath. There's either a phobia that best friendship turns SSA or perhaps the SSA group want the traditional BF pairs to be in their image.





[/quote]


I think you're grasping at straws here. Yeah, if nobody else is around I'll hang out with just one other guy. The norm is definitely to hang out in a smallish group. I'm not uncomfortable hanging out with just one female friend. Although if I just hung out with one girl who was a friend then people would probably assume we were dating. I'm straight so I don't care as much if people assume that as opposed to assuming I'm dating a male friend of mine. I expect this is similar to one of the reasons most guys don't like to hang out with just one other male friend. That seems like the exact opposite of what that sinister 'gay agenda' would be promoting.

[LouisvilleFan]

I never felt weird about hanging out with a guy one-on-one, gays included. Ain't like I'm gonna be flirting with him.