TeresaBenedicta Posted June 17, 2010 Share Posted June 17, 2010 [url="http://www.nytimes.com/2010/06/17/fashion/17BFF.html?hp"]The End of Best Friends[/url] Ridiculous. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Era Might Posted June 17, 2010 Share Posted June 17, 2010 (edited) I can see why it's important for kids to be able to adapt to a wide variety of people. But a best friend can be really important too. Edited June 17, 2010 by Era Might Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Selah Posted June 17, 2010 Share Posted June 17, 2010 seriously? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marie-Therese Posted June 17, 2010 Share Posted June 17, 2010 These people are, to put it plainly, complete idiots. Then again, I wouldn't expect anything different from Hell's Bible, as Fr. Z is fond of calling it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
homeschoolmom Posted June 17, 2010 Share Posted June 17, 2010 I didn't read the whole thing. I don't think there's anything wrong with two "kindred spirits" being drawn together as best friends. I think it's pretty rare, though for children to have a lifelong best friend-- when it happens, it happens. I think a lot of kids (particularly girls) really LONG for a BFF... it seems the staple of childhood fantasy. From Winnie-the-Pooh and Christopher Robin to Hannah Montana and... whatshername... the sidekick who keeps her secret. I think a lot of kids think there is something wrong with them if they don't have this exclusive pairing. Honestly, I think there are only a few situations in which adults should get involved in their children's social lives: helping the lonely child expand his/her social circle listening and oftering advice after a friend has betrayed a child (if the child wants to talk about it) driving to "play dates" intervening if there is bullying At school children should be given opportunities to work in a variety of situations with a variety of children. But they should be allowed to pick their friends to socialize with by themselves. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brother Adam Posted June 17, 2010 Share Posted June 17, 2010 dumb. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marie-Therese Posted June 17, 2010 Share Posted June 17, 2010 [quote name='homeschoolmom' date='17 June 2010 - 03:06 PM' timestamp='1276801592' post='2130564'] I didn't read the whole thing. I don't think there's anything wrong with two "kindred spirits" being drawn together as best friends. I think it's pretty rare, though for children to have a lifelong best friend-- when it happens, it happens. I think a lot of kids (particularly girls) really LONG for a BFF... it seems the staple of childhood fantasy. From Winnie-the-Pooh and Christopher Robin to Hannah Montana and... whatshername... the sidekick who keeps her secret. I think a lot of kids think there is something wrong with them if they don't have this exclusive pairing. Honestly, I think there are only a few situations in which adults should get involved in their children's social lives: helping the lonely child expand his/her social circle listening and oftering advice after a friend has betrayed a child (if the child wants to talk about it) driving to "play dates" intervening if there is bullying At school children should be given opportunities to work in a variety of situations with a variety of children. But they should be allowed to pick their friends to socialize with by themselves. [/quote] AMEN. One of the biggest problems that I have seen with kids my daughter's age (and, more specifically, the girls) is the intrusive intervention of parents into the relationships of their children. Kids aren't social experiments and the kind of artificial tinkering that this "educator" seems to promote is ludicrous. People are relational beings and will naturally seek out a group of peers with whom they feel most comfortable. Trying to socially engineer a kid's behaviour is disastrous. Children have to learn how to do for themselves, think for themselves, and make decisions for themselves. If they can't even have the choice to choose a close friend for themselves, what decisions will they be capable of later on? Even if their choice is wrong, it's still a learning experience. The idea that people can be somehow artificially induced to this concept of socialization is a disaster waiting to happen. Trying to construct a milieu for someone will inevitably lead to problems. The only times I ever intervene in my daughter's relationships are if she specifically asks for my help, if she tells me that a friend has a problem that needs adult intervention, or if I suspect bullying. Otherwise, I always give her the same counsel: remember to be Christlike in your friendships, and treat all people with love and respect, especially those who are mistreated. THAT is my job as a mom, not trying to artificially design a life for her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Archaeology cat Posted June 17, 2010 Share Posted June 17, 2010 Oy ve. I did like this quote, though [quote]“Do we want to encourage kids to have all sorts of superficial relationships? Is that how we really want to rear our children?” asked Brett Laursen, a psychology professor at Florida Atlantic University whose specialty is peer relationships. “Imagine the implication for romantic relationships. We want children to get good at leading close relationships, not superficial ones.” [/quote] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThePenciledOne Posted June 17, 2010 Share Posted June 17, 2010 [quote name='Brother Adam' date='17 June 2010 - 04:11 PM' timestamp='1276801875' post='2130566'] dumb. [/quote] I 2nd this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fides quarens intellectum Posted June 17, 2010 Share Posted June 17, 2010 Made me think of the ridiculousness of junior high: in addition to having our own, separate BFF&A, three of us also were 2nd BFF&As - I no longer talk to my then BFF&A, but still keep in touch with the two 2nd BFF&As. Anyway, i think friend status is going to be different for each child, thanks to moving, sports, schooling, etc. While I don't think it is a problem for a child to not desire a single BFF&A, I do see a problem with interfering in a child's social life and dissuading them from having one preferred buddy. Guess i'm just echoing other comments already made in here, though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bennn Posted June 17, 2010 Share Posted June 17, 2010 Don't you guys find it disturbing that values that weren't questioned since the beginning of mankind have been attacked the last hundred or so years? Even king David had a best friend, Jonathan. +Pax Domini, Ben Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommas_boy Posted June 17, 2010 Share Posted June 17, 2010 Being a teacher, I can somewhat understand where the teachers are coming from. But at the same time, I don't think that it's a good idea to "break up" best friends. I just didn't want two chatty students partnered up with one another in my room for sake of classroom management. What they do outside of class is their own business, not mine. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LouisvilleFan Posted June 17, 2010 Share Posted June 17, 2010 Having skipped to the last paragraph of that article... I think the whole thing accomplished saying nothing in 2,000 words. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThePenciledOne Posted June 17, 2010 Share Posted June 17, 2010 [quote name='Bennn' date='17 June 2010 - 05:26 PM' timestamp='1276806372' post='2130596'] Don't you guys find it disturbing that values that weren't questioned since the beginning of mankind have been attacked the last hundred or so years? Even king David had a best friend, Jonathan. +Pax Domini, Ben [/quote] Next to Jesus. The story of Jonathan and David is my favorite. And personally I love it very very dearly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThePenciledOne Posted June 17, 2010 Share Posted June 17, 2010 (edited) I did a couple posts concerning this on my blog. Given they are both more aimed at man, but I think they are still good reads for everyone and the other end of the spectrum verses this article. [url="http://thepenciledone.wordpress.com/2010/06/06/into-friendship-into-brotherhood/"] Into Friendship Into Brotherhood[/url] [url="http://thepenciledone.wordpress.com/2010/04/14/something-about-these-bonds/"]Something About These Bonds[/url] [url="http://thepenciledone.wordpress.com/2010/04/17/the-word-that-has-another-meaningful-meaning/"]The Word That Has Another Meaningful Meaning[/url] Edited June 17, 2010 by ThePenciledOne Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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