Chiara_ Posted June 17, 2010 Share Posted June 17, 2010 I've been discerning for about two years now and have been very convicted about wanting to be a nun. I do not know what to do though. I look through all these websites of these convents and just feel discouraged after looking at most of them. Last night I made a list of what I am looking for: -has TLM -is Passionist/ has very strong devotion to Passion and/or Sacred Heart -works with orphans -not cloistered -has habits -in full communion with Rome -is not liberal I also really love the consecration/vow ceremonies where you get to wear a wedding dress and they do the prostration with the pall, and profession rings. I am coming to find that nothing like this seems to exist. Also there seem to be very few non-cloistered trad orders that are not schismatic. I really don't know what to do. I'll be a senior in college this coming fall, and I would like to have some idea of what I'm doing afterwards because I want to do something with my life. I'd have loved to enter two years ago but had to finish college. being in college makes my prayer life suffer greatly. A month before the end of school this year, I had 52 pages to write combined between all classes and so I am just going going going and don't get to spend any time with Jesus. I know I still love Him so deeply and I want to love Him so much, but I don't feel as much as I used to. I am very confused right now. I haven't gone to look at any orders because I am intimidated by making initial contact and also I can't seem to find anything that looks like what I described. I know I might be being particular but I just think that one shouldn't have to settle. I'd really appreciate if anyone has any advice at all; if you know of orders that might be good or have been in a similar situation or really anything. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
morostheos Posted June 17, 2010 Share Posted June 17, 2010 Do you have a spiritual director? That might be a good place to start. Also, if you haven't already, ask God to introduce you to the community He wants you to be part of. Christ won't leave you hanging, He's got a plan. There are several others in Vocation Station who are also interested in active, traditional communities, I'm sure they can point you towards the few they have found. I'll be praying for you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OnlySunshine Posted June 17, 2010 Share Posted June 17, 2010 Unfortunately, there is only one order I know of that has the TLM and is not cloistered (and is in communion with Rome): [url="http://sistersofstbenedictcenter.org/"]Sisters of St. Benedict Center, Slaves of the Immaculate Heart of Mary[/url] However, they do not work with orphans. I would definitely recommend that you get a spiritual director if you don't already have one. Also, spending time in front of the Blessed Sacrament is invaluable to discernment. It can really help you get "in tune" with God's will. I would recommend that you not be close minded to other orders that do not meet your requirements. God might surprise you by sending you somewhere you least expect. This has happened MANY times in the course of discernment. It's good and well to know what you want because God knows the desires of your heart, but the ultimate goal is to do His will instead of our own. By remaining open to Him, you are more likely to end up in the place He desires--the place that will make you the most happy in this life. God bless you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TeresaBenedicta Posted June 17, 2010 Share Posted June 17, 2010 Sometimes you'll find that God is calling you somewhere you never would have imagined for yourself. Definitely happened for me. Have you checked out this community? Sisters of Mary Mother of the Church: http://sistersofmarymotherofthechurch.org/ They don't fit [i]everything[/i] you have on your list. But I think they fit quite a bit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chiquitunga Posted June 17, 2010 Share Posted June 17, 2010 (edited) [quote name='Chiara_' date='16 June 2010 - 10:11 PM' timestamp='1276744265' post='2130226'] I've been discerning for about two years now and have been very convicted about wanting to be a nun. I do not know what to do though. I look through all these websites of these convents and just feel discouraged after looking at most of them. Last night I made a list of what I am looking for: -has TLM -is Passionist/ has very strong devotion to Passion and/or Sacred Heart -works with orphans -not cloistered -has habits -in full communion with Rome -is not liberal I also really love the consecration/vow ceremonies where you get to wear a wedding dress and they do the prostration with the pall, and profession rings.[/quote] There are also the [url="http://www.institute-christ-king.org/vocations/sisters/"]Sister Adorers of the Royal Heart of Jesus[/url] They look so beautiful! Edited June 17, 2010 by Chiquitunga Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Orans Posted June 17, 2010 Share Posted June 17, 2010 [quote name='Chiara_' date='16 June 2010 - 11:11 PM' timestamp='1276744265' post='2130226'] I've been discerning for about two years now and have been very convicted about wanting to be a nun. I do not know what to do though. I look through all these websites of these convents and just feel discouraged after looking at most of them. Last night I made a list of what I am looking for: -has TLM -is Passionist/ has very strong devotion to Passion and/or Sacred Heart -works with orphans -not cloistered -has habits -in full communion with Rome -is not liberal I also really love the consecration/vow ceremonies where you get to wear a wedding dress and they do the prostration with the pall, and profession rings. I am coming to find that nothing like this seems to exist. Also there seem to be very few non-cloistered trad orders that are not schismatic. I really don't know what to do. I'll be a senior in college this coming fall, and I would like to have some idea of what I'm doing afterwards because I want to do something with my life. I'd have loved to enter two years ago but had to finish college. being in college makes my prayer life suffer greatly. A month before the end of school this year, I had 52 pages to write combined between all classes and so I am just going going going and don't get to spend any time with Jesus. I know I still love Him so deeply and I want to love Him so much, but I don't feel as much as I used to. I am very confused right now. I haven't gone to look at any orders because I am intimidated by making initial contact and also I can't seem to find anything that looks like what I described. I know I might be being particular but I just think that one shouldn't have to settle. I'd really appreciate if anyone has any advice at all; if you know of orders that might be good or have been in a similar situation or really anything. [/quote] Chiara, The most important thing in the discernment is that you do it with Jesus -and also as has been suggested, with a spiritual director. At this point when you are having 52 pages to write and don't have time to pray, you may want to invite Jesus to sit with you while you work in all those essays, maybe place an icon, or a picture or a crucifix on your table and dialog with Jesus on the go about your work, your ideas and/or difficulties, make Him part of what is preventing you from praying. You will have to be patient until you finish the school year and you will be able to dedicate yourself to prayer again. Then you can put your energy in the discernment ask Jesus for help to find the community where you can serve Him best and use your talents. There is a blog in Spanish, Divinas Vocaciones Religiosas, that has a listing of Traditionalist communities. This is the link to the English translation of the page by Google: http://translate.google.com/translate?js=y&prev=_t&hl=en&ie=UTF-8&layout=1&eotf=1&u=http://divinavocacion.blogspot.com/&sl=es&tl=en Scroll down and look for Traditionalist Religious Institutes on the column to the right. There are quite a number of communities listed. With the help of an online translator you can get information about the communities, and maybe find the one that will atract you. There are many other communities, all of them in this blog are non-liberal, whether with the Ordinary or Extraordinary Form for Mass. Hope this helps. Orans Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chiquitunga Posted June 17, 2010 Share Posted June 17, 2010 (edited) [quote name='MaterMisericordiae' date='16 June 2010 - 10:28 PM' timestamp='1276745289' post='2130234'] Unfortunately, there is only one order I know of that has the TLM and is not cloistered (and is in communion with Rome): [url="http://sistersofstbenedictcenter.org/"]Sisters of St. Benedict Center, Slaves of the Immaculate Heart of Mary[/url][/quote] Another link for them .. [url="http://www.saintbenedict.com/the_order/sisters.php"]http://www.saintbene...der/sisters.php[/url] (actually I believe this is a different community within the same religious family .. as their habit and address are both [i]slightly[/i] different .. I have heard there are a few communities like this founded by Fr. Feeney .. and some/one? are not in union with the Church .. okay, just checked, it's the ones in NH that are not .. but these two in Still River I believe are .. anyway, I'm sure if you ask them they could tell you more) [quote name='Orans' date='16 June 2010 - 11:57 PM' timestamp='1276750663' post='2130286'] There is a blog in Spanish, Divinas Vocaciones Religiosas, that has a listing of Traditionalist communities. This is the link to the English translation of the page by Google: [url="http://translate.google.com/translate?js=y&prev=_t&hl=en&ie=UTF-8&layout=1&eotf=1&u=http://divinavocacion.blogspot.com/&sl=es&tl=en"]http://translate.goo...om/&sl=es&tl=en[/url] Scroll down and look for Traditionalist Religious Institutes on the column to the right. There are quite a number of communities listed. With the help of an online translator you can get information about the communities, and maybe find the one that will atract you. [/quote] There is also this blog, [url="http://tradvocations.blogspot.com/"]http://tradvocations.blogspot.com/[/url] which you've probably come across. Also, I wanted to let you know, I saw an ad in an FSSP newsletter about the Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius of Loyola that will be preached this July at St. Benedict Abbey in Still River, MA .. where the Slaves of the Immaculate Heart are .. although not exactly the same location, though they sound similar. The only information I could find on it online is [url="http://tlm-md.blogspot.com/2010/04/fssp-news-chant-practicum-and-retreats.html"]here[/url]. And then here's the information from last year, [url="http://www.fssp.com/Retreats2009.htm"]http://www.fssp.com/Retreats2009.htm[/url] I have never been on one of their retreats, but I have done the Spiritual Exercises (in this shorter form .. not the full 30 days) with the priests of [url="http://www.mileschristi.org/"]Miles Christi[/url] and they are very helpful in discernment. I will keep you in prayer, Chiara. God bless you! Edited June 17, 2010 by Chiquitunga Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chiquitunga Posted June 17, 2010 Share Posted June 17, 2010 (edited) Really quick .. just to clear up any confusion about the Slaves of the Immaculate Heart of Mary .. after a little more research .. first, again the Brothers and Sisters in NH are the ones not approved .. and also I believe there's a group in Vienna, OH .. and maybe other places too. But the four communities founded by/that have their origins from Fr. Feeney, SJ in Still River, MA [i]are[/i] approved by/in union with the Church, which are .. 1. [url="http://www.sistersofstbenedictcenter.org/"]The Sisters of Saint Benedict Center, Slaves of the Immaculate Heart of Mary[/url] 2. [url="http://www.saintbenedict.com/the_order/sisters.php"]Slaves of the Immaculate Heart of Mary, Sisters[/url] (just down the road) 3. [url="http://saintbenedict.com/the_order/brothers.php"]Slaves of the Immaculate Heart of Mary, Brothers[/url] 4. [url="http://www.abbey.org/"]St. Benedict Abbey[/url], Benedictine Monks (fnd by [url="http://communio.stblogs.org/2010/04/gabriel-gibbs-founding-abbot-o.html"]Abbot Gabriel[/url]) <--- where the FSSP Spiritual Exercises retreat is They are all listed here, search MICM and OSB (although not the MICM Brothers .. but I'm assuming they are in communion) [url="http://www.worcesterdiocese.org/vicar/ReligiousCommunities/tabid/478/Default.aspx"]http://www.worcester...78/Default.aspx[/url] Regarding the two St. Benedict Centers in Still River, MA .. in [url="http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/index.php?showtopic=75858"]this thread[/url] Sr. Mary Catharine from the Summit Dominicans says (and I believe she is first referring to the older group, 1. on my list).. [quote name='Sr. Mary Catharine' date='31 December 2007 - 07:02 AM' timestamp='1199102521' post='1440405'] Yes, this is the original community founded by Fr. Feeney. The community itself was never not in communion with Rome. Their status as a religious community was irregular, however, but they were always in communication with the bishop. They were "regularized" in 1988 and made a community of apostolic life in the early '90's after I left. They, along with their "sister" community which broke away during internal troubles in the '70's are in FULL communion and approved by the local bishop. Both communities enjoy his support and esteem and he is often over there. Both communities, while canonically separate work together and the problems of the past are long over with and really, even forgotten.[/quote] One thing though is that they do follow a very strict interpretation of the Church's teaching on no salvation outside the Church, known as [url="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Feeneyism"]Feeneyism[/url], which is not the teaching of the Church, but a theological opinion of this priest .. but it is still possible to be Catholic and believe it (thus said a traditional priest I was recently talking to about this actually, who does not believe this, btw) The SSPX even has [url="http://www.amazon.com/Feeneyism-Catholic-Meaning-Outside-Salvation/dp/1892331047/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1276772026&sr=8-1"]a book[/url] against it[i] ..Is Feenyhism Catholic?[/i] in case the link is removed .. just to give you an example of how extreme this position really is. So anyway, I did not mean to post this much, but I just thought I'd share the bit I've learned. These communities do look beautiful nonetheless, especially with their huge Montfort spirituality .. awesome! And I've never even met them before or anything. But I do think it would be important to learn about their founder and his beliefs and everything if you were going to discern with them .. and how they follow these. I think this is something pretty unique to their community, different from other TLM communities. But again, they are approved and in union with the Church. God bless! p.s. I just wanted to add .. Fr. Feeney did a lot of good though, this one priest was telling me, and brought many into the Church, like Cardinal Avery Dulles! ... or rather since he wasn't a bishop Edited June 17, 2010 by Chiquitunga Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cherie Posted June 17, 2010 Share Posted June 17, 2010 [quote name='MaterMisericordiae' date='16 June 2010 - 11:28 PM' timestamp='1276745289' post='2130234'] [b]I would recommend that you not be close minded to other orders that do not meet your requirements.[/b] God might surprise you by sending you somewhere you least expect. This has happened MANY times in the course of discernment. It's good and well to know what you want because God knows the desires of your heart, but the ultimate goal is to do His will instead of our own. By remaining open to Him, you are more likely to end up in the place He desires--the place that will make you the most happy in this life. [/quote] My piece of advice is to agree about being open. When I was in discernment, I had a big "list" of all the things I wanted in a community. But after discernment and spiritual direction, I discovered many of those things were things that[b][i] I wanted, [/i][/b]not what [b][i]God wanted[/i][/b] for me. Once I opened myself to His will, He guided everything perfectly. The community I joined fit a lot of my "requirements," of course (like community life, community prayer, a habit, faithfulness to the Church, etc. are non-negotiables in my opinion), but I wouldn't be resting in the glorious, Providential Will of God today if it weren't for being open to the fact that God wanted me somewhere [i]outside[/i] of the box of what I had made for myself. My advice is, along with getting a spiritual director, is to go ahead and contact those communities, even if they don't fit your specifications perfectly. You just might be surprised at what you find! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
laetitia crucis Posted June 17, 2010 Share Posted June 17, 2010 [quote name='CherieMadame' date='17 June 2010 - 09:03 AM' timestamp='1276779837' post='2130443'] My piece of advice is to agree about being open. When I was in discernment, I had a big "list" of all the things I wanted in a community. But after discernment and spiritual direction, I discovered many of those things were things that[b][i] I wanted, [/i][/b]not what [b][i]God wanted[/i][/b] for me. Once I opened myself to His will, He guided everything perfectly. The community I joined fit a lot of my "requirements," of course (like community life, community prayer, a habit, faithfulness to the Church, etc. are non-negotiables in my opinion), but I wouldn't be resting in the glorious, Providential Will of God today if it weren't for being open to the fact that God wanted me somewhere [i]outside[/i] of the box of what I had made for myself. My advice is, along with getting a spiritual director, is to go ahead and contact those communities, even if they don't fit your specifications perfectly. You just might be surprised at what you find! [/quote] iawtc From my own experience, I especially agree with the first paragraph.... there are some things that [i]are[/i] negotiable, and some things (like CM listed) that simply are [i]not[/i] negotiable for me. That's always been a "starting place" in my own discernment -- build a foundation on the "non-negotiables" and perhaps put those communities on a "List of Communities to Possibly Discern", then go from there with your "negotiables". I hope that makes some sense... I need more coffee this morning. P.S. -- Finding a good spiritual director will definitely help you along your way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chiara_ Posted June 17, 2010 Author Share Posted June 17, 2010 Thank you everyone I do not have an 'official' spiritual director. My parish priest and I are good friends and so I do tallk to him about it in confession. However I don't go into depth about it with him because while he is very sweet and awesome, he's not as traditional as I think I'd need for this sort of thing. I didn't want to make him look at me wrong so didn';t bring up exactly what I wanted in an order. As he is retiring this summer, I will likely start attending another church nearby where the priest is more traditional - he said the Latin Mass every Thursday in Lent, and the rest of the time does the OF. So he'd probably be where I'd start as far as a spiritual director. Question, though- how do you get someone to be your spiritual director? Do you just ask them or is there more to do? The MICM's are probably top of my list to look at right now I just hope they're not too hung up on the Feenyism thing because I really don't have as strong an opinion on it as they seem to (or used to). But I will most likely be contacting them soon. When you contact a religious community, how do you go about it? Just email and say you're interested and wouldlike information? What does "information" mean to a convent - are they going to send me brochures (like colleges kind of)? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sistersintigo Posted June 17, 2010 Share Posted June 17, 2010 Two observations, Chiara, regarding opportunities in the Passionist charism. You must have encountered the Brockton, Massachusetts congregation named for the Sorrowful Mother if I remember right. They are active and they consider themselves Passionists. They have discernment opportunities for young women and their discernment reputation is good among vocations offices. There is one cloister that merits your attention because the nuns could be helpful to you even if God guides you elsewhere. I am speaking of the suburbs outside of Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. In July, the Passionist monastery of Our Lady of Sorrows will commemorate its centennial. This was the first community of Passionist nuns in North America, founded from the Italian monastery established by St Paul of the Cross himself. No website or webpage for this very traditional Passionist cloister. They have always had retreats for women, something St Paul of the Cross insisted on. So here you have women who are devoted to the Passionist charism; they have distinction within the Passionist order, even worldwide, for their pioneer status; they are very well connected with the Passionist priests and brothers, and certainly they would have an opinion worth listening to, about the active Passionist congregations of women. I think the actual town name is Carrick, PA. This monastery of cloistered nuns has a solid reputation amongst Passionist women; their traditionalism has been consistent all these years, and their community is well thought of. I think the benefits outweight the risks of initiating contact with this cloister. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
laetitia crucis Posted June 17, 2010 Share Posted June 17, 2010 [quote name='Chiara_' date='17 June 2010 - 11:57 AM' timestamp='1276790225' post='2130485'] Question, though- how do you get someone to be your spiritual director? Do you just ask them or is there more to do? When you contact a religious community, how do you go about it? Just email and say you're interested and wouldlike information? What does "information" mean to a convent - are they going to send me brochures (like colleges kind of)? [/quote] Spiritual Director: Personally, I've always just asked very plainly. "Are you available for spiritual direction?" If yes, "Would we be able to meet for direction some time?" Contacting religious communities: I pretty much do what you said -- just make contact and say I'm interested in their community and would like information. When I've done this in the past, usually I've received a letter with brochures, like college brochures. If I'm interested in what I've read, then I make contact via telephone and play "20 Questions". (I tend to ask a lot of questions. ) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chiara_ Posted June 17, 2010 Author Share Posted June 17, 2010 [quote name='Orans' date='17 June 2010 - 12:57 AM' timestamp='1276750663' post='2130286'] Chiara, There is a blog in Spanish, Divinas Vocaciones Religiosas, that has a listing of Traditionalist communities. This is the link to the English translation of the page by Google: http://translate.google.com/translate?js=y&prev=_t&hl=en&ie=UTF-8&layout=1&eotf=1&u=http://divinavocacion.blogspot.com/&sl=es&tl=en Scroll down and look for Traditionalist Religious Institutes on the column to the right. There are quite a number of communities listed. With the help of an online translator you can get information about the communities, and maybe find the one that will atract you. There are many other communities, all of them in this blog are non-liberal, whether with the Ordinary or Extraordinary Form for Mass. Hope this helps. Orans [/quote] This looks like a great resource - thank you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vee Posted June 18, 2010 Share Posted June 18, 2010 [quote name='laetitia crucis' date='17 June 2010 - 01:19 PM' timestamp='1276798750' post='2130547'] If I'm interested in what I've read, then I make contact via telephone and play "20 Questions". (I tend to ask a lot of questions. ) [/quote] Why? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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