Reality Check For Religious

[vee]

[quote name='laetitia crucis' date='16 June 2010 - 09:13 PM' timestamp='1276740798' post='2130201']


Edit:

[img]http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1227/856727818_188a308166.jpg[/img] [img]http://www.pestaola.gr/img/guinness_beer.jpg[/img]
[/quote]

LOlL aaaaaaw you remembered!

[laetitia crucis]

[quote name='vee8' date='16 June 2010 - 10:43 PM' timestamp='1276742582' post='2130216']
LOlL aaaaaaw you remembered!
[/quote]

[vee]

[quote name='laetitia crucis' date='16 June 2010 - 09:31 PM' timestamp='1276741866' post='2130208']
Well... ...I suppose I thought it appropriate because Carmelites always seem to be ascended to the heights of Divine Intimacy compared to other Orders' saints, ya know?

After all, John of the Cross is the [i]Doctor Mysticus[/i]. [/quote]

Divine huh? And John of the what? What a nutty order...

[quote]However, I would be happy to have you within the hobbity confines of hobbit-hole hermitages. We could even have second breakfasts and elevenses together.[/quote]

Make it so

[quote]Edit: If I could build a hobbit house in a TREE... that'd be FANTASTIC!!! It's like having the best of both worlds...

I call dibs on the moon, though... that is, if humans ever come to inhabit it in my lifetime. [IMG]http://i802.photobucket.com/albums/yy305/laetitia_crucis/Random/vulcan.gif[/IMG] [size="1"]Or any starship for that matter.. just in case. Teehee.[/size][/quote]

I shall acknowledge your dibs calling for such things in perpetuity.

[laetitia crucis]

[quote name='vee8' date='16 June 2010 - 10:55 PM' timestamp='1276743359' post='2130220']
Divine huh? And John of the what? What a nutty order...



Make it so



I shall acknowledge your dibs calling for such things in perpetuity.
[/quote]




[IMG]http://i802.photobucket.com/albums/yy305/laetitia_crucis/Random/excellent-frog.jpg[/IMG]

[IgnatiusofLoyola]

[quote name='laetitia crucis' date='16 June 2010 - 09:31 PM' timestamp='1276741866' post='2130208']
Well... [img]http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/public/style_emoticons/default/think_head.gif[/img] ...I suppose I thought it appropriate because Carmelites always seem to be ascended to the heights of Divine Intimacy compared to other Orders' saints, ya know?

After all, John of the Cross is the [i]Doctor Mysticus[/i]. [img]http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/public/style_emoticons/default/notworthy2.gif[/img]

However, I would be happy to have you within the hobbity confines of hobbit-hole hermitages. [img]http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/public/style_emoticons/default/lol_grin.gif[/img] We could even have second breakfasts and elevenses together.
[/quote]

If it weren't for my physical limitations, I'd love to live in a tree.

But, after the last posts, I realized that, even though it would mean that no messages would come down my chimney, it would be better to build the tree hermitages AWAY from the chimneys of the hermitages on the ground. Fire (other than the fire of the Holy Spirit) tends to be a real downer.

Also, would you be allowed to be a Carmelite, and not be totally cloistered behind grilles/bars, as long as you remained within the monastery grounds? Otherwise, we wouldn't be able to take meals or have recreation together. Aren't there some Carmelite nuns who aren't totally cloistered behind screens and grills? Or maybe all the Carmelites could be designated as extern sisters so they could eat dinner with us. Alternatively, I guess you could be Carmelite Sisters who live an horarium that is essentially that of Carmelite nun (minus the screens).

Just setting this thing up would be setting a lot of new precedents, such as members of various Orders living together, unless we could set up a new Order that somehow incorporated aspects of the Dominicans/Benedictines/Franciscans/Carmelites/Jesuits (LOL!)--we're going to get Jesuit Sisters yet, maybe the Jesuits have just been waiting for the chance! There would be a lot of compromises, but maybe the Rule of the Order could make certain things optional (such loud expressions of ecstacy in Christ). (The Carmelite hermitages would be sound-proofed. LOL)

As for how we'd support ourselves, since this is an imaginary Order anyway, I'm including some imaginary incredibly rich donors who have always wanted to support a project like this. We would do work, but what we did as work could then be more dependent on what we wanted to do rather than what we HAVE to do to support ourselves. I don't want to make soap, but the Summit Dominican soaps smell WONDERFUL! Even if we didn't have a "soap ministry" we'd have to get our soaps from the Summit Dominicans, as part of our support of other Orders. For those with student loans, our donors would make the payments while the Sister/nun was in formation, then pay off the loan when the Sister/nun made permanent vows.

I don't think we would want to live a rich lifestyle in any way, but building hermitages costs money, and it would be nice not to have money be a huge worry, in fact, be able to give some away, even if we didn't spend much on ourselves. Also, combining so many traditions could cost a little more money. For example, at dinner, we'd need to include a vegetarian option for the Carmelites, as well as a meat option for the non-vegetarians.

Also, I'd really love to have a pretty church. Not fancy pretty, with lots of gold gilt, etc. But, I've seen some chapels that are so plain they look like Scottish Presbyterian houses of worship, with no ornaments at all. There must be somewhere in-between, so we could have a cozy chapel with some stained glass windows etc. Somewhere that you'd truly praying in for a good part of the day. Someday, when we can't think of anything interesting to talk about, we could find pictures of pretty churches on the Internet and share them with each other as ideas for our "community."

[Bennn]

Lo, and behold; thus were the foundations of the new hermitage laid, so that Phatmassers might live in holy poverty and mortification, develop the awesome ways of chimney mail and tell Carmelite jokes.

+Pax Domini,
Ben

[vee]

[quote name='Bennn' date='17 June 2010 - 06:42 AM' timestamp='1276774955' post='2130435']
Lo, and behold; thus were the foundations of the new hermitage laid, so that Phatmassers might live in holy poverty and mortification, develop the awesome ways of chimney mail and tell Carmelite jokes.

+Pax Domini,
Ben
[/quote]

I think we need more Dominican and Franciscan jokes.

[laetitia crucis]

[quote name='vee8' date='17 June 2010 - 01:40 PM' timestamp='1276796448' post='2130523']
I think we need more Dominican and Franciscan jokes.
[/quote]

Agreed.

*googling*

[laetitia crucis]

[quote]A Dominican and a Franciscan friar traveling together on the way, arrived at a brook, where the Dominican requested the Franciscan, in as much as he was barefoot, to carry him over the water on his back. The Franciscan was content, and up he took him, and into the river he went; and being stepped into the chan nel, there he paused, and said to the Dominican, “Tell me (brother) have you any money about you?”

The Dominican, thinking that he aimed thereby at a consideration for his pains, answered: “Yea Maria, have I a little, but not much.”

“Much or little then”, replied the Franciscan, “well you know that my order does not allow me to carry money, although you may. And therefore…” And with that down he let slip the Dominican into the channel, where his money could not save him from being very well wet.[/quote]

[url="http://2008remodel.wordpress.com/2008/06/24/the-oldest-dominican-joke-on-record/"]Source[/url].

[laetitia crucis]

A Benedictine goes to a barber to get a hair cut. When the haircut is done he asks the barber how much he owes him, but the barber replies "oh no, I don't charge clergy." The next morning the barber comes into work and finds twelve bottles of red wine at the doorstep.

A Franciscan goes to the same barber and when the haircut is finished asks how much he owes, and the barber says "oh no, I don't charge clergy". The next morning the barber comes in to work and finds twelve loaves of fresh baked bread on his doorstep.

A Jesuit goes to the same barber, and again when the haircut is finished asks the barber how much he owes. Again, the barber replies, "oh no, I don't charge clergy." The next morning the barber comes in to work and finds twelve Jesuits at his doorstep.

[laetitia crucis]

So, I'm finding it's much easier to come across Jesuit jokes -- more so that any other Order. I find this oddly amusing...

A Jesuit and a Franciscan sat down to dinner, and pie was served for dessert. There were two pieces of pie, one cut smaller than the other. The Jesuit reached over and took the larger piece for himself. The Franciscan remonstrated, "St. Francis always taught us to take the meaner piece." So the Jesuit replied, "And so you have it!"

[JTheresa]

[quote name='laetitia crucis' date='17 June 2010 - 02:13 PM' timestamp='1276798403' post='2130540']
So, I'm finding it's much easier to come across Jesuit jokes -- more so that any other Order. I find this oddly amusing...
[/quote]

a Jesuit was taking a walk in the woods when he caught sight of a huge bear. He turned and started running away, but the bear came chasing after him. Suddenly he came to the edge of huge cliff, with no to escape the bear. So he knelt down in prayer and said, "dear Lord, please put some religion into this savage bear's heart."
Immediately, the bear dropped down on it's knees. And so the Jesuit let out a sigh of relief and said, "Thank you Lord."
Unfortunately, he didn't hear the bear's prayerful words, "Thank you Lord, for this meal which I am about to eat..."

[IgnatiusofLoyola]

I have a sneaking suspicion that the reason there are so many good Jesuit jokes is that Jesuits enjoy making jokes about themselves. These jokes are much too good to have been thought up by any other Order. [img]http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/public/style_emoticons/default/tomato.gif[/img]


P.S. When I got married, we imported our own Jesuit to perform our wedding. Thankfully, the parish priest was getting older and had recently injured himself, so no one from the parish actually was present at our wedding. It was fully in compliance with the Magisterium, but unconventional. (But, no clowns or balloons or anything like that. I am guilty of many things, but even in my callow youth I did my best not to be guilty of poor taste.)

[Chiquitunga]

Okay, I'm a little behind in reading through this thread and am only up to the 5th post, but this was too funny ..

[quote name='MaterMisericordiae' date='14 June 2010 - 09:10 PM' timestamp='1276567803' post='2129046']
A young priest was so nervous about his first Mass, he memorized the Gospel, he got it a little mixed up and read, "Jesus baptized Jordon in the John.[/quote]

[vee]

A Dominican and a Franciscan friar traveling together on the way, arrived at a brook, where the Dominican requested the Franciscan, in as much as he was barefoot, to carry him over the water on his back. The Franciscan was content, and up he took him, and into the river he went; and being stepped into the chan nel, there he paused, and said to the Dominican, “Tell me (brother) have you any money about you?”

The Dominican, thinking that he aimed thereby at a consideration for his pains, answered: “Yea Maria, have I a little, but not much.”

“Much or little then”, replied the Franciscan, “well you know that my order does not allow me to carry money, although you may. And therefore…” And with that down he let slip the Dominican into the channel, where his money could not save him from being very well wet.


good one

[quote]So, I'm finding it's much easier to come across Jesuit jokes -- more so that any other Order. I find this oddly amusing.[/quote]

I've noticed that too.

Edited June 18, 2010 by vee8