$1000 To Have A Wedding In A Church

[havok579257]

when my parents got married in a catholic church the church had them make a $600 donation to the church. when we got married in my wife's church it cost a few hundread dollars. when we got married in the catholic church it was free but it really wasn't a wedding. it was more just us in church clothes with 4 witnesses and the priest blessing our marriage, so no ceremony. from what i have heard from family members, they have to donate a couple hundread dollars to get married in the catholic church.

[Resurrexi]

Nothing like getting married between classes in the school chapel.

[dauntingknight]

I was told you should give the Church about $300.

[Sojourner]

We paid more than $1,000, but the church we got married in was the St. Paul Cathedral, and we were not parishioners. The amount we paid covered their musicians, the honorarium for the priest, security, use of the church for three hours, a wedding coordinator, and programs. I feel like we got what we paid for.

[Nihil Obstat]

[quote name='Terra Firma' date='14 June 2010 - 08:52 PM' timestamp='1276566757' post='2129023']
We paid more than $1,000, but the church we got married in was the St. Paul Cathedral, and we were not parishioners. The amount we paid covered their musicians, the honorarium for the priest, security, use of the church for three hours, a wedding coordinator, and programs. I feel like we got what we paid for.
[/quote]
What did you need security for?

[MissScripture]

[quote name='Resurrexi' date='14 June 2010 - 09:50 PM' timestamp='1276566648' post='2129020']
Nothing like getting married between classes in the school chapel.
[/quote]
You're married? Congrats!

[Resurrexi]

[quote name='MissScripture' date='14 June 2010 - 09:06 PM' timestamp='1276567611' post='2129041']
You're married? Congrats!
[/quote]

LOL. I don't even have a girlfriend.

[Brother Adam]

I would be very leery of the "it has to be in cash" as well. I would never hand anyone $1000 in cash. At best I would give them a check to leave a paper trail. Talk to the pastor about that. Maybe even the diocese. There is no reason it should have to be in cash. I would worry about embezzlement.

It is totally absurd what people spend on weddings. It makes no sense to me. Our wedding cost about $1000 and the use of the church (we were baptist) was $0. They felt it was a ministry and as such should not be charging for it.

How on earth are the poor suppose to get married if they are forking over hundreds of dollars to the church. And I keep hearing how much more expensive Catholic weddings are than anywhere else. It's one thing to make a donation or give a priest a stipend, really, give me a break. When do we start charging people to attend Mass or give a confession or be anointed?

[CatherineM]

My husband likes to watch the "'til debt do us part" show on Slice. It amazes me how many couples say they want to get married, but can't afford it. Last week it was a couple who had been together 18 years and had 3 kids. After that much time together, what does it take?

[Sojourner]

[quote name='Nihil Obstat' date='14 June 2010 - 08:05 PM' timestamp='1276567504' post='2129037']
What did you need security for?
[/quote]
It was a requirement for the Cathedral ... apparently priceless works of art are worth protecting.

[quote name='Brother Adam' date='14 June 2010 - 08:15 PM' timestamp='1276568155' post='2129057']
How on earth are the poor suppose to get married if they are forking over hundreds of dollars to the church. And I keep hearing how much more expensive Catholic weddings are than anywhere else. It's one thing to make a donation or give a priest a stipend, really, give me a break. When do we start charging people to attend Mass or give a confession or be anointed?
[/quote]
I didn't mind paying the amount we paid, first because of what we got in return, and second because even if it is a large amount of money, it's going to a worthy cause.

Besides, I'm well aware of the ongoing needs of the Church for funds, particularly in the wake of the sex scandals. As recently as 2006, [url="http://www.fadica.org/documents/ParishDonorSurveyPDF.pdf"]Catholics were giving less[/url] than they had been because of the scandals, and I am pretty sure the economic situation hasn't made these numbers any better. And, although I couldn't quickly find data to back me up, it is my belief that Catholics give less, per capita, than Protestants do. My husband, a lifelong Catholic, agrees with my assessment on this. We think it is because Catholics are less likely to have an ownership feel with a specific parish than are Protestants, although I'm sure that other reasons play into this as well.

So, parishes are left trying to find creative ways to make ends meet and to provide the ministries they are called to engage in. One of these ways is to charge for weddings. A significant amount of the charge, I would guess, is to cover real costs associated with building usage and personnel in order to have a wedding. Anything over that is (or should be) a subsidy for other ministries.

My feeling is that in Protestant churches that are well-funded, subsidizing weddings is a ministry of the individual community. That's great, if a community can do it, but I don't think it's right for a parishioner/congregant to demand a free or cheap wedding from a parish or community. If a couple cannot afford $1,000 for a wedding, then get married in another parish, or just have a very simple ceremony.

All that being said, it's weird that the parish would ask for the fee in cash. That seems wrong to me.

[Luigi]

From Brother Adam: "When do we start charging people to attend Mass or give a confession or be anointed?"

This model of the Church is called Pray-and-Pay; it's motto is, "Keep your mouth shut and your wallet open." It's been the standard approach in the American Church for some generations, according to certain priests I know.

[Luigi]

I've surveyed a number of friends who've had the full-blown wedding - new bridal gown, rented tuxes, church wedding, rented car, flowers, organist & soloist, photo-videographer, rented reception hall, buffet line, open bar, cake, DJ, out-of-town honeymoon. They tell me the average price is $25,000. If the Church wants $1000, it's [i]nothing[/i] (well, 4% actually) compared to the rest of the pointless but conspicuous consumption specific to the day. My guess is most people spend more on wedding beer than they do on the church.

[Hassan]

I'll do the whole thing for $20

[Archaeology cat]

The parish where we got married had a $500 fee if you weren't a regular parishioner for a year prior. It was a beautiful parish. I don't know if they had a lot of people coming for weddings who weren't parishioners or not.

[Ephrem Augustine]

Some parishes recommend a meager stole fee for parishioners, and have an exhorbant fee for non-parishioners to keep out the overflow of weddings. I know of some shrines, which technically shouldnt be having marriages, have them, and charge a lot of money, because people insist on having weddings.