Spiritual Direction

[OnlySunshine]

I know many religious communities prefer that their aspirants have a spiritual director, and it is a good idea to have one in general, but what do you do if you cannot find a spiritual director? I have been looking for over a year and I cannot find one to replace the last one I had. Plus, I work full-time and I don't know how I would be able to see the SD. Can one go without a spiritual director? Or are there other ways to be directed such as reading spiritual books, etc?

[CatherineM]

Mine moved overseas about the same time I moved to Canada, so I tried to find a new one, but actually it has worked out better for her and I to communicate by email and phone. She knows me really well, so that makes it easier to work long distance.

[TeresaBenedicta]

I hear ya... it's difficult. I've been in a s/d relationship for three years now. But as I've graduated college and am currently residing 3,000 miles away from my s/d, things have come mostly to an end. I haven't been able to find anybody here to be my s/d as of yet. I guess I'm lucky in that my old s/d is still willing to chat with me over the phone until I can find someone new, but it's not a long term solution.

Here's a blog that I have found helpful. The particular post I'm linking you to deals with exactly the question you've posed:

http://rcspiritualdirection.com/blog/2010/01/11/i-havent-been-able-to-find-a-spiritual-director-yet-can-someone-be-their-own-spiritual-director-what-should-i-do-in-the-mean-time

[Orans]

I've been having my own sp dr through a phone conversation for many years.
Because there are no options in the area, I even have this as an approved choice in my Rule as a hermit. It has worked very well because we had the direction relationship in person for some years before we started doing it through the phone.

Recently I've started doing it myself (as director) through Skype, and it is working. But again these are people I already knew before personally. The phone didn't work with some people I've tried.

This is not ideal, but if you have no other choice you may want to give it a chance.

When you start with a spiritual director -or when there is a big change of circumstances, like this case, it is normal to have a number of "trial" sessions (in the sense of testing if it works for you and the director or not).

I'll be praying for you to find the help needed.
Peace!

[Mary Veronica]

a good question to confront: would anyone want to go without a spiritual director? Naturally, I think people like to be guided (not just spiritually). we can always imitate the saints...like St. Teresa of Avila who expressed "I threw myself down in despair before an image of the Mother of God. With many tears, I implored the Holy Virgin to become my mother now." Many of us can't find a spiritual director easily on earth, but in the meantime, there are many to choose from in Heaven . although I must add that St. Teresa of Avila found it extremely necessary in her vocation to have a holy spiritual director, even though she supernaturally conversed with Jesus Himself. Still, it seems that it would please Our Father that we always yearn to be guided as children, or as little sheep! and if takes time, (and especially if it's preferred in our discernment by a particular order we feel drawn to) we must not be afraid to wait and hope and trust in God's will!

Edited June 14, 2010 by Mary Veronica

[SoonerCatholic]

Where does one look for a spiritual director, especially in a diocese with a shortage of priest and religious? Also, suppose one is moving for grad school temporarily (4 semesters) out of state? Should you look for a spiritual director in your home diocese or in the diocese where the school is located or where else? I've heard it strongly recommended but I'm shy about sharing my spiritual experiences with anyone...

[Mary Veronica]

[quote name='SoonerCatholic' date='13 June 2010 - 10:04 PM' timestamp='1276481089' post='2128368']
Where does one look for a spiritual director, especially in a diocese with a shortage of priest and religious? Also, suppose one is moving for grad school temporarily (4 semesters) out of state? Should you look for a spiritual director in your home diocese or in the diocese where the school is located or where else? I've heard it strongly recommended but I'm shy about sharing my spiritual experiences with anyone...
[/quote]

I found my spiritual director at my college Newman Center, which is convenient cause he is used to guiding a lot of young men and women who discern during their college life. I'm out of college now, and I still have direction with him on Campus lol. try contacting a Newman Center, just a suggestion.

[Thomist-in-Training]

[quote name='Mary Veronica' date='13 June 2010 - 10:28 PM' timestamp='1276482488' post='2128379']
I found my spiritual director at my college Newman Center, which is convenient cause he is used to guiding a lot of young men and women who discern during their college life. I'm out of college now, and I still have direction with him on Campus lol. try contacting a Newman Center, just a suggestion.
[/quote]

There's no ideal, but just don't let it be a trap "It's no good HERE 'cause I'm not here all year, but it's no good THERE 'cause I'm not there all year!" (I went through that too and it wasn't even that far in between, for me.) See if you can find a good director in either place. :shrug:

Yah, trust is important. Don't choose lightly, look for someone you can really trust (if you're not sure, see if you can observe them for a bit first) and then go for it... this is one of those areas where you do have to rely on your own judgment and the inspiration of the Holy Spirit.

To everyone, not just SoonerCatholic:
It's true that God might see fit not to send you one for some extended period of time. This could be because you don't ask, or because He has some idea of His own about it. In the first case, ask, in the second case, spiritual reading is the way to go (and at least try to find a good confessor you can go to over and over). [size="1"]Personally there was a time when reading Father Faber's "The Foot of the Cross" really was practically as good as spiritual direction. He seemed to hit exactly the right points for me. [/size]

[laetitia crucis]

[quote name='Thomist-in-Training' date='13 June 2010 - 11:17 PM' timestamp='1276485469' post='2128409']
[size="1"]Personally there was a time when reading Father Faber's "The Foot of the Cross" really was practically as good as spiritual direction. He seemed to hit exactly the right points for me. [/size]
[/quote]

I [i]heart[/i] that book and Fr. Faber.

[OnlySunshine]

Thanks to everyone for their advice. I spoke to my Young Adult group's spiritual director and he gave me some really great advice. He recommended a religious community in my area for spiritual direction. I plan to go to the Holy Hour the host at the Church where they are assigned tomorrow night and ask them. If I have no other recourse, there is a new priest coming to be our pastor when our current one retires at the end of the month. He was the assistant vocations director for our diocese last year.

[Orans]

[quote name='MaterMisericordiae' date='14 June 2010 - 08:19 AM' timestamp='1276517964' post='2128488']
Thanks to everyone for their advice. I spoke to my Young Adult group's spiritual director and he gave me some really great advice. He recommended a religious community in my area for spiritual direction. I plan to go to the Holy Hour the host at the Church where they are assigned tomorrow night and ask them. If I have no other recourse, there is a new priest coming to be our pastor when our current one retires at the end of the month. He was the assistant vocations director for our diocese last year.
[/quote]
This sounds great. I'll continue praying for this
Peace!

[abrideofChrist]

[quote name='TeresaBenedicta' date='11 June 2010 - 09:19 PM' timestamp='1276309177' post='2127598']
I hear ya... it's difficult. I've been in a s/d relationship for three years now. But as I've graduated college and am currently residing 3,000 miles away from my s/d, things have come mostly to an end. I haven't been able to find anybody here to be my s/d as of yet. I guess I'm lucky in that my old s/d is still willing to chat with me over the phone until I can find someone new, but it's not a long term solution.

Here's a blog that I have found helpful. The particular post I'm linking you to deals with exactly the question you've posed:

[url="http://rcspiritualdirection.com/blog/2010/01/11/i-havent-been-able-to-find-a-spiritual-director-yet-can-someone-be-their-own-spiritual-director-what-should-i-do-in-the-mean-time"]http://rcspiritualdi...n-the-mean-time[/url]
[/quote]

Be careful about this website. The religious order to which this priest belongs is under investigation by the Vatican as it has extremely serious problems. Spiritual direction is one of the areas in which serious abuses are reported of members of this order and its lay wing, the regnum christi men and women.

[SoonerCatholic]

Thank you for the tips. I'll look into the Newman center or campus ministry where I'm going to see if I can find anybody.

[TeresaBenedicta]

[quote name='abrideofChrist' date='15 June 2010 - 11:44 PM' timestamp='1276656241' post='2129611']
Be careful about this website. The religious order to which this priest belongs is under investigation by the Vatican as it has extremely serious problems. Spiritual direction is one of the areas in which serious abuses are reported of members of this order and its lay wing, the regnum christi men and women.
[/quote]

I've read most of that site and everything that I've read has been perfectly fine. I give that my word.

I think it would be very unfortunate to discount the work of these priests because of the sins of the founder.

Unless you've seen something specifically wrong with the advice of this particular priest and his website?

[abrideofChrist]

[quote name='TeresaBenedicta' date='15 June 2010 - 09:58 PM' timestamp='1276657081' post='2129623']
I've read most of that site and everything that I've read has been perfectly fine. I give that my word.

I think it would be very unfortunate to discount the work of these priests because of the sins of the founder.

Unless you've seen something specifically wrong with the advice of this particular priest and his website?
[/quote]

I'd agree that one should not discount the work of the priests because of the founder unless the sins of the founder directly affected the priests themselves and their formation and methodology. If it were just a matter of the founder, why would the Legionaries be banned from several archdioceses and absolutely forbidden to give spiritual direction to minors in Baltimore? Why is there an Apostolic Visitation being done if all is/was okay for that group except for the criminal incestuous pedophile founder? Is there significance in the fact that for an order that claims "integral formation", their own formation and sets of rules are highly suspect and in many sections against the dignity of human beings? Would that by any chance affect any "spiritual direction" they might themselves try to impart to others? Spiritual direction is important... just do your due diligence in discovering whom you'd feel comfortable in sharing your soul with and be familiar about things that can be harmful.