Question About Vocations

[Cherie]

Great post, and great responses!

I come from the perspective as one who was in religious life for a while, made temporary profession for a number of years, and left a few years before perpetual profession, and is now married.

I would say that first and foremost our vocation is to accomplish God's will. That is, ultimately, what one's state is supposed to lead them to.

As TeresaBenedicta pointed out: [quote]"Vocation" comes from the Latin [i]'vocare'[/i] which means "to call". It's generally said that we have three vocations:

1) The call to being or to existence. God calls each and every one of us, individually, into existence.
2) The universal call to holiness, which is given at baptism.
3) The call to a state of life.[/quote]

Some people say, "So-and-so has a vocation!" but what that really translates to is, "So-and-so has a vocation to religious life," since all of us have "vocations," meaning, a "calling" from God. To the point where people even call their jobs their vocations, but that's not what the Church traditionally means when she uses the word "vocation."

I think of vocation as something more dynamic, for lack of a better word. God's will is mysterious - a person can certainly be given a vocation to the priesthood after his wife has died, but that doesn't necessarily mean he was not supposed to get married first in his life. But is that true for [i]all [/i]men who were called to the priesthood after their wives died? (or had their marriages annulled, as I know a few cases in which this has happened, as well.) This does, of course, bring in the idea that one can "lose" their vocation, or deny it. I know many who have talked about this, including myself. That's the beauty--and the agony, for some--in free will. However, God's will is accomplished -- it might not have been His ordained will, but it certainly is His permissive will, and He often brings even greater glory out of a situation that seemed "hopeless" or "lost" -- (Romans 8:28!) Remember the phrase from the Exsultet at Easter time: "O happy fault that merited such and so great a Redeemer!" But in any case, I think it is very safe to say that no, one person isn't necessarily "locked into" a vocation for their whole lives. As TeresaBenedicta pointed out, the marriage vows are [i]until death,[/i] so that certainly leaves the possibility of one entering religious life after their spouse has died.

But it's a much harder question for those who have made perpetual vows. The traditional thought, in line with St. Thomas Aquinas, is that when a person makes perpetual vows, whether they had a vocation to religious life before then or not, they absolutely do once they make that final profession. You could imagine the difficulty for one who has made perpetual vows and later realizes they had no business doing so, and that's why discernment is so important to a person, not only BEFORE they enter a certain community, but even especially WHILE they are there, before they make perpetual vows! But, like I said before, God can work glorious things -- and so often does! -- even from situations like when a person because of the "gravest of causes considered before the Lord" receives a dispensation from their perpetual vows.

And, as one who experienced both religious life and marriage, I would certainly not say that marriage is easier than religious life. They are both difficult at times, but in different ways. It's almost like they're on two different planes in that regard, and each has difficulties that is specific to that state. Both require dying to yourself daily. I think that's the problem as to why people think marriage is "easier" - like you can "do your own thing" in marriage, but in religious life you can't. Marriage isn't meant to be a state in which you can "do your own thing," although unfortunately many people live it that way nowadays! - honestly, it's constantly striving for growth in virtue, literally dying to yourself for the good of your spouse. And that dying to self, that kenosis, that humility -- is difficult in ANY state of life!!!

[size="1"](edited for clarity -- it's tired and I'm late ... )[/size]

Edited June 12, 2010 by CherieMadame

[cmaD2006]

[quote name='TeresaBenedicta' date='11 June 2010 - 09:29 PM' timestamp='1276302568' post='2127557']
On the other hand, if a woman discerned a call to the religious life and made perpetual vows, then she would not have a "second" vocation. If she were to leave and get married, that would not be a call from God, but the breaking of her vows. God does not call a person to the religious life "for a period time" (not to be confused with being [i]in[/i] religious life for a time... God could call someone into religious life and call them out of religious life [i]before[/i] they make final or perpetual vows... that's definitely happened before). To say that would be to completely miss the essence of religious life. [/quote]

Even in this situation you cannot know for sure what is happening with respect to a vocation.
There can be many reasons why someone in perpetual vows asks for dispensation from their vows.
Even in the case mentioned above, God can be at work (if we said that He was definitely not, then I believe we are limiting God).
Was the woman who made perpetual vows (as mentioned above) called to religious life over marriage -- I don't think anyone can say either way.

I'll give yet another example ... what if the woman who discerned a call to religious life and made perpetual vows is found in a situation where the community is not being faithful to the charism? She could discern the need to leave.

The beautiful thing is -- God does provide an out. Not that this "out" is to be taken lightly. Its in the same order as if someone who gets married, the marriage breaks down and eventually the decision is made to divorce, followed by an annulment.

"God writes straight through crooked paths."

[Orans]

It seems that sometimes we can take the "vocation" thing as something as narrow as a once in a lifetime decision or choice, and that's it, as if it were the only solution to a quiz.

As someone has already mentioned, we all have a vocation, and it is the same for everyone: we are to become fully ourselves as a unique expression of Christ. This is a life-long journey, and other decisions like entering religious life or getting married are only a piece of this journey.

Our potential as given to us by God and by circumstances of life is much more rich than we often can fathom, and our calling as human beings is to live our lives to our full potential with the unique characteristics and choices of the unique person we are.

For instance, the calling to a life of intimacy with God is universal. For some people it entails living in a religious community, for others it is meant to be lived with a partner in matrimony, but the desire and calling for intimacy with God is still there, and often it goes unnoticed although there may be a sense of something still lacking in the lifestyle already embraced.

I would say, that appeal for the religious life is the way in which those in other lifestyles can get in touch with this universal calling to intimacy with God. If it is dismissed because the response cannot be the obvious fact of entering in a religious community, then the whole point is missed. God wants to live closer to you, to each one of us, and we need to get in touch and explore our own desire to live and experience God closer to us. This is very important to realize because there is always some way of responding to this kind of "invitation" and appeal, in every form of lifestyle and circumstance of life.

[indent][quote]Strangely, [b][u]for some reason that I don't understand, I believe it's all going to work out.[/u] But, at this point, I have NO idea how or when[/b]--I'm just trying to stay open to different ideas, and not close any doors. It's very strange for me--I'm someone who has always wanted to know what is going to happen next IMMEDIATELY. I read the end of mystery novels before I start them. As a child, my parents had to hide all my presents until after I went to bed on Christmas Eve because, otherwise, I'd unwrap my presents to see what they were, and then very neatly wrap them again. Because I've been forced to be, I've become more patient in the past few months and years than I ever expected I could be. (I think I'm just too tired to be TOO impatient.)[/quote][/indent]

This paragraph is very significant because -if I'm hearing you correctly- you are in a somehow difficult situation (health and other things) and yet you have that sense of "everything is going to work out somehow". This sense is how Grace works to help us live through difficult circumstances, and it sounds like this is God almost as if saying, "all is well even if it doesn't look like it is. You can Trust life ... an Me"

I would say that a conversation with a spiritual director may help probe and unravel what is God inviting at this point and circumstances of your life. It seems to me -from your sound reflections in this thread- that you are already listening and getting in touch with more than you are aware of on a conscious level.

Peace,
Orans

[LaboureSociety]

The ultimate question is, "How does God want to make me holy?" The answer to that, is our vocation. Note, this doesn't mean which is more difficult, or which is easier, both have their crosses and joys. The question is for each of us in our particular situation where do we experience the fruits of the spirit and where do we grow in authentic, habitual, virtue in those fruits? A few excellent books, "What Does God Want" Fr. Michael Scanlon TOR and "Discerning God's Will" Saint Frances DeSales, I've found to be tremendously helpful. Best and blessings!