Courage And Friendship

[tinytherese]

Over the years, it has been hard for me to make friends. I'm a very introverted girl and I've had negative experiences throughout my life when it comes to trusting friends. I've been known to fear getting really close to them. Sure, I'll enjoy their company, hang-out with them and have some fun, but there's little to no depth--emotional intimacy-- at least on my side.

I usually don't go there, and when I have, I've gotten betrayed or hurt by that friend or someone that I trusted. I've had so many one-way friendships. I'm the one who is really loyal, listens, comforts, defends, encourages, etc., but I'm taken advantage of and they don't do the same for me. I'm the one who takes care of them. It isn't as if I'm expecting them to "owe me one," I care about them, but then they cut me really deep with a dagger to my heart. I've trusted people who haven't deserved it and I'm going to be working with my therapist (among other things,) to learn how to trust. Some of the most attractive traits about Our Lord, which lead me to love Him was His unconditional love, His promise to never leave us, and His ultimate display of love by dying on the cross for all of us. He would have done it even if it was only for my sake. He wasn't like my other friends. He is my best friend of all time. I need courage to make myself vulnerable so that I can open up and learn to make decent friends.