My Current Occupation

[melporcristo]

+JMJT+

Hello dear friends!!

I hope you all are doing very well! I need some of your intercession and kind advice for me and my present "vocation": Where shall I begin ...

I came home this year because I wanted to take a "break" from teaching. I LOVE teaching, but I wanted to also discern and, well, I basically wanted to come home to spend time with my family because I had a feeling it may be some of the most pivotal moments with them (my brother graduated HS, my sister is still around, etc.). I was accepted to enter as a candidate to a BEAUTIFUL community, deo Gratias. But as the month nears, I still have student loans to pay and have a part-time job to attend to.

Which goes onto the next problem: I have probably one of the most stressful jobs I have EVER worked. And I've worked in some pretty intense places. Basically, its a coffee shop where we earn the 2nd largest sales in the West. And to make matter worse, I really see my stress level go up which means my impatience goes up and I fall into many vices: pride, anger. Interiorly, I begin to doubt my vocation; how can a sinner like me enter a religious community?

Any advice? Thank you all for your prayers for me.

In Christ,
Mel

Edited June 9, 2010 by melporcristo

[regina_coeli]

You are being too hard on yourself-- it's called "work" because it's not easy! Most of us come home every day wondering why our patients, clients, students, customers, AND co workers are so lacking in the virtue of charity, and plain common sense. Your awareness that you are not as humble and patient as you aspire to be will help you grow in grace if you let the Holy Spirit work in you. Maybe some reading of St Therese and thoughts about her little way would help. Prayers!

[laetitia crucis]

As silly as this might sound, for me when I'm in high-stress situations I have to make it something of a "mind game" with myself.

If I already know how I'm going to react in certain situations (like becoming extra irritable, impatient, or even just plain sarcastic ), before going into those situations I need to set up some kind of interior "chart" for myself that lists my most common vices that "shine" in those high-stress moments. During the day, when I encounter those situations, I try to do the exact opposite to how my nature wants to react.

I also try to alter my disposition in how I'm viewing the various situations. Mostly, I try to give people the "benefit of the doubt" even if it seems blatantly obvious that they might not deserve it. That sounds really harsh, but in all honesty... I always have to go back to remembering, "Hey, I only see things from my perspective... for all I know, so-and-so could be in some serious spiritual/moral/physical/psychological turmoil. Show mercy and let God take care of the Justice aspect."

Sometimes "killing them with kindness" works wonders. Haha! Plus, you can store up "bonus points" in heaven.

I hope that makes sense....








Whatever you do, do not doubt your vocation in these situations or because of them.

High stress situations are difficult simply because they're just that: highly stressful. Generally, stress either brings out the best in people, or the worst in people. I think this might have a lot to do with one's temperament... for me as a choleric-melancholic, I tend to do fairly well in active, high stress situations because I react quickly and adapt quickly. However, my secondary melancholic temperament likes to brood over things, especially if I've failed at them. Knowing this about myself, in those stressful moments, I can't let my melancholic nature get to me, or else I'd be a mess. (I'm constantly learning from experience. ) Failing at something minuscule in the "big picture" could potentially have a "snowball effect" if my melancholic tendencies ruled my will. As a choleric, I know I just need to acknowledge it, "offer it up", and move on ASAP. And most importantly, I cannot allow myself to dwell on it while I'm in the high-stress environment.

You ask, "how could a sinner like me enter a religious community?" I ask, "How could God who is all-perfect, become man who is all-imperfect?" Answer: Out of Love.

Also, this came to mind:

[quote name='St. Paul'][i]Now if (I) do what I do not want, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells in me. So, then, I discover the principle that when I want to do right, evil is at hand. For I take delight in the law of God, in my inner self, but I see in my members another principle at war with the law of my mind, taking me captive to the law of sin that dwells in my members. Miserable one that I am! Who will deliver me from this mortal body? Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord. Therefore, I myself, with my mind, serve the law of God but, with my flesh, the law of sin.[/i] -- Romans 7:20-25[/quote]

St. Paul, pray for us!

[stlmom]

In or out of the convent, conversion is a lifelong process. St. Benedict calls religious life " a school for the Lord's service". No one comes in having mastered all their faults with a perfect temperament. You do not leave your faults behind at the monastery door--they enter with you, lol!

Don't lose sleep over this! You are as worthy a candidate for religious life as any one who's given it a serious thought.

[Sister Marie]

Stlmom, you are absolutely right. Your faults will enter with you. It is great that you are working on them now before you enter, but don't lose hope.

There are times in the convent when I feel exactly as you are describing at work and I get irritable and annoyed and frustrated... you name it, I've got it!

We all have places and people who put us in that place. A favorite saying that I've heard many sisters say is that your sisters/students/apostolate/community is your hair-shirt. There is no need to go out of your way for a penance because God gives you more than enough during your life - so don't beat yourself up! Penance is supposed to bring us closer to God so make what is happening your penance and live in it and work through it. Remembering this little saying though can give you a little chuckle while its happening and know that it is all for God's greater glory.

Just think, if you were already the perfect Christian/Catholic/religious, God would have been foolish to become man and die for us. He would have had no reason. So praise God for your shortcomings and remember that all of us have them. If we didn't we would never know God's immeasurable love for each of us.

[CatherineM]

I've spent a lot of time around nuns, sisters, and convents in general. There are more sinners than saints. That happens when humans are involved. You'll fit right in.

[melporcristo]

+JMJT+

Thank you all for your amazing advice.

LC - I'm Choleric-Melancholic too .

Sister Marie - "Let them become my 'hair shirt'" How Fitting!! More opportunity for graces ...

*sigh* I have a long ways to go but thank you all for re-aligning my focus. I've been struggling for quite some time in this job and you give me greater purpose to keep going with the job instead of simply quitting early.

[Thomist-in-Training]

Melporcristo, it's true working at an hourly job is such a big chance to get ahead or behind, in patience, obedience to legitimate superiors, doing what someone asks rather than what you'd like to do or seems to you to be most efficient, interrupting what you're doing to answer a request.... LaetitiaCrucis did a great job of outlining the right mindset to have!

Yeah, the goal for religious is that you're holy when you [b]die[/b], not necessarily when you [b]enter[/b]! Thank goodness!

[melporcristo]

JMJT

A little update

Work has been a lot better. Thank you all so much! But I am still very much counting the days until I'm in Carmel

40 more days!!!!!

[linnie]

[quote name='melporcristo' date='11 June 2010 - 04:00 PM' timestamp='1276290009' post='2127448']
JMJT

A little update

Work has been a lot better. Thank you all so much! But I am still very much counting the days until I'm in Carmel

40 more days!!!!!
[/quote]

You may already have answered this but which Carmel are you entering?

[OnlySunshine]

[quote name='linnie' date='11 June 2010 - 08:09 PM' timestamp='1276301347' post='2127550']
You may already have answered this but which Carmel are you entering?
[/quote]

I believe she is entering the active/contemplative order of the Carmelite Sisters of the Most Sacred Heart in Los Angeles, CA.

[LaboureSociety]

Blessings to you, Melporcristo and thanks be to God for your discernment! Perhaps I'm stating the obvious, but our organization works to resolve student loans with individuals so that they may enter formation for the priestly and religious life. Please give us a call, if we can assist! www.labouresociety.org 651.452.1160. I'll be the one to answer the phone.

[brightsadness]

[quote name='melporcristo' date='11 June 2010 - 02:00 PM' timestamp='1276290009' post='2127448']
JMJT

A little update [img]http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/public/style_emoticons/default/smile.gif[/img]

Work has been a lot better. Thank you all so much! But I am still very much counting the days until I'm in Carmel [img]http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/public/style_emoticons/default/lol_roll.gif[/img]

40 more days!!!!!
[/quote]


I'm currently doing childcare for my oldest brother's three kids. He's back home from the Gulf and he and my sis-in- law are having a few days alone. Can certainly use prayers for patience. They are wonderful kids but never stop from morning to night.

For example, I just rescued the computer from a melting popsicle.

Praying for you, of course. I enter 2 months from tomorrow. Can hardly believe it still.

Edited June 14, 2010 by brightsadness

[melporcristo]

[quote name='brightsadness' date='14 June 2010 - 01:22 PM' timestamp='1276543363' post='2128658']
I'm currently doing childcare for my oldest brother's three kids. He's back home from the Gulf and he and my sis-in- law are having a few days alone. Can certainly use prayers for patience. They are wonderful kids but never stop from morning to night.

For example, I just rescued the computer from a melting popsicle.

Praying for you, of course. I enter 2 months from tomorrow. Can hardly believe it still.
[/quote]

YIKES!!


I will definitely pray.

Speaking of children ... I have another prayer request I will post in another page. Thank you Pham. You all are amazing. Laboure - I will call!!!

[melporcristo]

+JMJT+


This last week or so has been very interesting.



My little sister, 21, told me last week that she's pregnant. Her baby, God willing, will be due while I am gone. She is unwed but the father is a very responsible person and we couldn't have asked for a better father of the baby.

But it has been a hard past 2 days for my family and I.