Do You Need Godparents?

[StColette]

[quote name='homeschoolmom' date='05 June 2010 - 09:06 PM' timestamp='1275786370' post='2124320']
Didn't that cause hurt feelings with actual Catholics being chosen as proxies, but not as Godparents?

[/quote]

Mary's and Aaron's godparents are all Catholic hehe lol so I think you might have a typo in there

No. Micah's parents enjoyed just being there and my coworkers understood that Mary's godparents could not be there with us because 1 is a Catholic Missionary and the other could not fly in during that time. Even though the proxies aren't Mary's formal godparents they will always be special to us because they stepped in when we need help and are wonderful people and involved in our lives

[havok579257]

[quote name='StColette' date='05 June 2010 - 09:05 PM' timestamp='1275786300' post='2124317']
Please note that when choosing Godparents, those selected do not have to be present at the Baptism. All four Godparents (2 for Aaron and 2 for Mary) were unable to come to the Baptisms. The Church allows for proxy Godparents. This means that if the actual Godparents are unable to attend the Baptism then someone can stand in their place on their behalf. With Aaron's baptism, Micah's parents stood in as the proxies and for Mary's two of my friends/co-workers stepped in for us. The name of the Godparents that will appear on the certificate and in the Sacramental books are the names of the actual Godparents, not the proxies.

- Jennie


(there signed in under my own name now lol)
[/quote]


wait, we do have a close friend and her husband who are catholic but live far away. could they still be godparents even though they can't attend the baptism? can we have non catholic christian's stand in for them or do they need to be catholic to even just stand in for them?

[havok579257]

[quote name='homeschoolmom' date='05 June 2010 - 09:06 PM' timestamp='1275786370' post='2124320']
Didn't that cause hurt feelings with actual Catholics being chosen as proxies, but not as Godparents?

Another thought, havok.... Is there anyone among your Catholic relatives/friends who might be so honored to be chosen that s/he would step up in their responsibility and work on their own faith development?
[/quote]


been working on that for a while now, but no one is willing to work on thier catholic faith right now. hopefully some day.

[goldenchild17]

[quote name='havok579257' date='05 June 2010 - 07:39 PM' timestamp='1275788378' post='2124360']
wait, we do have a close friend and her husband who are catholic but live far away. could they still be godparents even though they can't attend the baptism? can we have non catholic christian's stand in for them or do they need to be catholic to even just stand in for them?
[/quote]

I was going to ask if you were considering all your friends/relatives or only those who could make it to the baptism in person. I know my godparents couldn't make it to my baptism and my parents had two friends stand in at the ceremony as proxy. Same with a couple other of my siblings.

[url="http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/index.php?showtopic=104174"]Godparents By Proxy - Phatmass Phorum[/url]

Edited June 6, 2010 by goldenchild17

[goldenchild17]

Furthermore, if it comes to it, as long as you can find at least one suitable male or one suitable female, then a single godfather or a single godmother is sufficient. Both is not necessary:

Can. 873 There is to be only one male sponsor or one female sponsor or one of each.

edit: nvm, cheriemadame covered this one already

Edited June 6, 2010 by goldenchild17

[rhetoricfemme]

[quote name='StColette' date='05 June 2010 - 09:08 PM' timestamp='1275786518' post='2124323']
The Church does not allow for two Christian witnesses and no Catholic godparent. The child being baptized must have a Catholic godparent, even if it is only 1 instead of 2. Your friends can both be Christian witnesses, but the Church requires a Catholic to be the child's actual godparent.

If you know or have any Catholic relatives that are practicing and in good standing with the Church they may be his godparent and you can have a proxy stand in for them at the actual Baptism and your friends can be Christian witnesses.
[/quote]
That's what I meant. We have to wait until we find a Catholic person we trust before we can go ahead.

There are zero Catholics in either of our families... My husband literally has no Catholic family, and I only have relatives that I haven't seen since I was a child (and don't know where they are now), who may or may not be practicing Catholics.

[StColette]

[quote name='rhetoricfemme' date='05 June 2010 - 11:44 PM' timestamp='1275795897' post='2124452']
That's what I meant. We have to wait until we find a Catholic person we trust before we can go ahead.

There are zero Catholics in either of our families... My husband literally has no Catholic family, and I only have relatives that I haven't seen since I was a child (and don't know where they are now), who may or may not be practicing Catholics.
[/quote]

Gotcha! Ask your priest if he knows someone.

[StColette]

[quote name='havok579257' date='05 June 2010 - 09:39 PM' timestamp='1275788378' post='2124360']
wait, we do have a close friend and her husband who are catholic but live far away. could they still be godparents even though they can't attend the baptism? can we have non catholic christian's stand in for them or do they need to be catholic to even just stand in for them?
[/quote]

No, the proxies must be Catholic as well. You can have your friend and her husband be the actual godparents and explain to your priest that they are unable to attend because of the distance and could he recommend proxies.

[havok579257]

[quote name='StColette' date='05 June 2010 - 11:51 PM' timestamp='1275796295' post='2124457']
No, the proxies must be Catholic as well. You can have your friend and her husband be the actual godparents and explain to your priest that they are unable to attend because of the distance and could he recommend proxies.
[/quote]


and now we are back to square one. asking random strangers to be a part of our child's baptism. a person who will have nothing to do with our child's up bringing and life. just seems wierd to me. to me it seems no different than having a non practicing catholic or non catholic chirstian be a godparent. i mean niether of the 3 are going to be involved in our childs spiritual life and up bringing. seems really wierd to have a random person be there or in some cases be a real godparent and then after the baptism, have nothing to do with the child's life. i mean is that any better than a non practicing catholic or a non catholic christian? niether of the three will be involved in their spiritual life.

[zunshynn]

[quote name='havok579257' date='05 June 2010 - 11:08 PM' timestamp='1275800927' post='2124477']
and now we are back to square one. asking random strangers to be a part of our child's baptism. a person who will have nothing to do with our child's up bringing and life. just seems wierd to me. to me it seems no different than having a non practicing catholic or non catholic chirstian be a godparent. i mean niether of the 3 are going to be involved in our childs spiritual life and up bringing. seems really wierd to have a random person be there or in some cases be a real godparent and then after the baptism, have nothing to do with the child's life. i mean is that any better than a non practicing catholic or a non catholic christian? niether of the three will be involved in their spiritual life.
[/quote]

Well, why not try to start a friendship with them? It would certainly be good for your child to have contact with other Catholics sincerely living their faith.

[havok579257]

[quote name='zunshynn' date='06 June 2010 - 01:12 AM' timestamp='1275801122' post='2124478']
Well, why not try to start a friendship with them? It would certainly be good for your child to have contact with other Catholics sincerely living their faith.
[/quote]


easier said than done. the church picks someone at random. how is the church supposed to know to pick someone who i might start a friendship with. unless the person has some of the same intrests as me, its not going to work. forcing a friendship is not going to work. not to mention i could easily get stuck with one of the people who say they are catholic, go to mass all the time but yet don't follow all catholic teachings such as brth control or confession or communion. its more likely this person will be at my child's baptism and after that we will never speak other than a hello at mass. to me, that seems wierd. why even have a person stand in or be a true godparent when everyone involved knows that more than likely this godparent or stand in will have nothing to do with the childs life after the ceremony? what is the point of even having any godparents if they are going to have nothing to do with the child's life? i don't understand why my wife and i are not enough to get our child baptized? why do we need a total stranger to be a godparent or stand in.

should i even bring up the topic of the lady we can get to be our child's godparent. she lives in another state. my wife see's her once a year for a day or two. i see here every couple of years for a hour or two. due to her distance she is going to have nothing to do with our child's spiritual growth, yet somehow she makes a good godparent? makes no sense to me.

[Ed Normile]

I guess you understand that only in a tragedy would you ever need to have the godparent\s be active in your childs upbringing. That being said I would go for the friends that are far away, call them and tell them your wishes, explain that they need not make the service as you will have a stand in for them, you never know they may feel so honored that they decide to come in person, if not they will be the true godparents. I would use some of your friends which you say are catholic but do not really practise as the stand ins, this may be the nudge they need to bring them back into the church.

ed

[Archaeology cat]

[quote name='havok579257' date='06 June 2010 - 06:08 AM' timestamp='1275800927' post='2124477']
and now we are back to square one. asking random strangers to be a part of our child's baptism. a person who will have nothing to do with our child's up bringing and life. just seems wierd to me. to me it seems no different than having a non practicing catholic or non catholic chirstian be a godparent. i mean niether of the 3 are going to be involved in our childs spiritual life and up bringing. seems really wierd to have a random person be there or in some cases be a real godparent and then after the baptism, have nothing to do with the child's life. i mean is that any better than a non practicing catholic or a non catholic christian? niether of the three will be involved in their spiritual life.
[/quote]
I know a friend of mine was living abroad when she gave birth, and she had a couple of the people at the parish there stand in as proxies for her son's baptism, as the actual godparents were in her home country. I don't know all the ins and outs of it, to be honest. We might need to go with proxies for our future children, depending on how things go. For our son, we chose a couple whom we didn't know all that well at the time, but with whom we've developed a friendship. For our daughter, we only chose one godparent (a Phatmasser, at that), as our friends (with a couple of exceptions) aren't Catholic, and the majority of our family aren't Catholic. I wouldn't be surprised if we started going with some of my cousins in the future, though we'd most likely need a proxy at the actual baptism if we continue to live in England.

[havok579257]

[quote name='Ed Normile' date='06 June 2010 - 02:03 AM' timestamp='1275804215' post='2124494']
I guess you understand that only in a tragedy would you ever need to have the godparent\s be active in your childs upbringing. That being said I would go for the friends that are far away, call them and tell them your wishes, explain that they need not make the service as you will have a stand in for them, you never know they may feel so honored that they decide to come in person, if not they will be the true godparents. I would use some of your friends which you say are catholic but do not really practise as the stand ins, this may be the nudge they need to bring them back into the church.

ed
[/quote]


so i can use some catholic family who are not really practicing as stand ins? cause i would much rather do this than a total stranger.

[Archaeology cat]

And I almost forgot - but congratulations for the upcoming birth of your child!