Female Altar Servers

[Shana]

I was asked to be an altar server at daily Mass by another altar server because they need another. I don't feel comfortable being an altar server as a woman and I'm not sure what to do. I'm not an ultra-traditional schismatic type and I know the pope and my diocese and parish has allowed this but I still don't feel comfortable doing it as I feel more comfortable seeing men in this role. What should I say without sounding like a crazy SSPX or "more Catholic than the pope"? What reason should I give? I don't wanna be an altar server.

Edited June 4, 2010 by Shana

[Cherie]

You have every right to say that you don't feel comfortable being an altar server. You don't have to go into a detailed explanation as to why you prefer not to.

If you feel you owe them an explanation, take a look at this article from EWTN, which explains things quite well: http://www.ewtn.com/library/liturgy/zlitur19.htm

Hope that helps!

[Shana]

Thanks.

Btw, I'm already a reader and Eucharistic Minister which I don't mind as much. Well I sort of don't like some aspects of being a Eucharistic Minister but whatever.

Edited June 4, 2010 by Shana

[CatherineM]

I served the altar once, in 1975. That was when women weren't allowed to, period. I was a sacristan, and the altar boy hadn't shown up for morning mass. Our pastor asked me to just stand there and hand him stuff. I was very uncomfortable, and he said later that it was okay to feel uncomfortable in a position you aren't called to fulfill. I was also a Eucharistic Minister back in the late 80's, but finally just couldn't do it anymore. When asked now, I just tell them that I'm just not called to that ministry, and every ministry I do prevents someone else from potentially coming forward for a ministry they are called to.

[fides quarens intellectum]

Yes, I agree that you should just be able to say you don't feel comfortable doing it, and have that be the end of it.

and btw, phatmassers, lay people who assist in distributing are[i] Extraordinary [/i]Ministers of Holy Communion.

[TeresaBenedicta]

Yeah, I've been in that situation before-- except I was asked by my priest, in front of the Bishop.

I shyly said that I didn't think it would be best since I had never served before.

Then Bishop said that he really need another server... It was two minutes before Mass was about start. So I put on the alb and was the book bearer (luckily we had an MC to tell me what to do and when).

Sometimes (not necessarily in your particular case), we just have to do what we don't think is best. I'm not a huge fan of female altar servers, but since the Church has allowed them, when I'm in a situation described above, I go with it.

Besides, who tells a bishop 'no'? LOL

[MithLuin]

Yes, filling in when asked to is one thing, but you should speak up and say "I would rather not" when put in that situation. No one should 'force' you into any ministry in the church, whether it's being an altar server or running a table at a fundraiser or teaching religious ed. Not everyone should do everything. Just because girls can be altar servers doesn't mean [u]you[/u] have to be an altar server.

I was an altar server as a child, and I loved it! I think one of the happiest experiences I had was serving Christmas Eve mass. I remember kneeling in the alb on the altar praying and thinking, 'I could die right now and go to heaven', it was that special.

But I have never been an EM, ever. Nor was I trained as a lecter, though my parents and sisters were. One day, I walked into mass and the priest said, 'Can you be the reader today?' I think he thought I was my sister. I had no clue what to do, but...what could I say? I did it, but I felt [i]terrible[/i] about it.

Why? I'd been at a sleepover with some high school friends the night before and had come straight to mass before going home, so my hair was a mess, I hadn't showered, and I probably had on the same clothes from the day before. I wasn't happy about going to mass like that, let alone getting up and reading in front of everyone! But, I did it. I've never read at a parish mass since .

Long story short, you don't have to go on about how you feel altar servers should be boys. You can just politely and firmly insist that you don't want to do it. Hopefully, they'll be able to find more willing volunteers.

[Apotheoun]

There is nothing wrong with saying, "No thank you; that practice is contrary to tradition."

As an Eastern Catholic if a priest were to ask me to distribute holy communion during the liturgy I would say, "No thank you; the distribution of communion is reserved to those who are ordained." Of course in a Byzantine Church a priest is not likely to ask a layman to distribute communion because the typikon forbids it.

[YMNolan]

I think that by saying that it makes you feel uncomfortable is enough of an explanation in itself. I think the problem with lay people taking on any kind of ministry is that many don't see it as a big deal. It's just an act of "community service," not a calling with deep meaning. By stating that you have put a lot of thought into it and that it makes you feel uncomfortable may get them to think a little more about the significance. Truth has that kind of effect on people!

If they keep badgering you on why you feel uncomfortable, remind them that many priests got their start as altar servers and that it is an important ministry in cultivating potential vocations to the priesthood of which you would not, by nature of being a woman, be destined for. Again, get them thinking.

[the171]

im a female altar server.theres no problem with the guys and gals mixing in my parish.im friends with all of em.still havent served for adoration yet.can girls serve in holy adoration?

[Brother Adam]

171, females are permitted to serve as altar servers because of a "loophole" which may one day be closed, but it is not the proper place or within the natural order to do so at Mass. This is not a matter of "equality" or "equal rights" because no one has the "right" to serve any ministerial function at Mass outside of the worship we are called to as laity. It is a calling and a privilege - in the case of altar serving it is proper to the authentic discernment of a vocation to the priesthood. As women are not called to the priesthood any more than men are called to motherhood, it does not serve a truly fruitful purpose.

[Resurrexi]

[quote name='Apotheoun' date='04 June 2010 - 01:36 PM' timestamp='1275676578' post='2123743']
There is nothing wrong with saying, "No thank you; that practice is contrary to tradition."
[/quote]

w00t

[Resurrexi]

[quote name='TeresaBenedicta' date='04 June 2010 - 01:03 PM' timestamp='1275674593' post='2123729']
Besides, who tells a bishop 'no'? LOL
[/quote]

I would tell the bishop 'no' if he asked me to carry out an action that tradition and my conscience would not permit me to perform (such as being an extraordinary minister of holy Communion).

Edited June 4, 2010 by Resurrexi

[fides quarens intellectum]

[quote name='Brother Adam' date='04 June 2010 - 03:15 PM' timestamp='1275682541' post='2123783']
171, females are permitted to serve as altar servers because of a "loophole" which may one day be closed, but it is not the proper place or within the natural order to do so at Mass. This is not a matter of "equality" or "equal rights" because no one has the "right" to serve any ministerial function at Mass outside of the worship we are called to as laity. It is a calling and a privilege - in the case of altar serving it is proper to the authentic discernment of a vocation to the priesthood. As women are not called to the priesthood any more than men are called to motherhood, it does not serve a truly fruitful purpose.
[/quote]

Brother Adam, by this line of thinking, would you also say it is not proper for married men to be altar servers? I am just curious.

(and I'm not trying to hijack this thread and turn it into a debate - i am genuinely curious as to what Brother Adam thinks).

[the171]

[quote name='Brother Adam' date='04 June 2010 - 04:15 PM' timestamp='1275682541' post='2123783']
171, females are permitted to serve as altar servers because of a "loophole" which may one day be closed, but it is not the proper place or within the natural order to do so at Mass. This is not a matter of "equality" or "equal rights" because no one has the "right" to serve any ministerial function at Mass outside of the worship we are called to as laity. It is a calling and a privilege - in the case of altar serving it is proper to the authentic discernment of a vocation to the priesthood. As women are not called to the priesthood any more than men are called to motherhood, it does not serve a truly fruitful purpose.
[/quote]


yea.true.but it is fruitful because you are serving the most high lord.just saying.and also im discerning the sisterhood.its really helped me in discernment.are you a traditionalist?and i know its not with equal rights etc.the woman has her place in the church and the man has his.and the females out number the males in altar serving in my parish.and many others.if there werent any females serving wed have no servers some days,and that would not help out father doyle.he has alzhiemers.he gets lost in the middle of the homily and the prayers etc.its rather sad because he is a very nice man.