krissylou Posted July 11, 2011 Share Posted July 11, 2011 [quote name='FutureSister2009' timestamp='1310320319' post='2265340'] Thank you for being so helpful! I do understand what you're saying but I just want it so much. I really don't want to wait around for it. I don't want to take my final vows in my 40s or 50s. [/quote] If you enter at, say, 25 I can pretty much promise you'll take final vows before age 50. But of course you want this life and you don't want to wait. And that's a good thing. But, just based on what you're saying here, it seems like you're putting a LOT of pressure on yourself for some reason and it's stressing you out. Leading you to do things like plan the SSVM retreat, get all worried about everything "What if I get lost in the train station?" "How awkward will it be for a Sister to pick me up at the train?" And then you cancel at the last minute and then you sound like you regret cancelling ... You seem to be putting a LOT of pressure on yourself. I remember one time, talking to my pastor about a particular issue over a period of time. At first he was saying "whatever balance works out for you, that's okay." After a while he was saying "you keep coming to my office stressing out about this. The status quo is CLEARLY not working for you! Do something else!" Okay, good point. That was me. And you are not me. But just from what you're saying on these boards, and maybe I'm totally misreading, but your approach seems to be REALLY stressing you out. It doesn't seem to be working for you. And you talk a LOT about "not wanting to lose your vocation!" Well if God is calling you he will still be calling you at 21. I'm not saying wait until you're widowed and your children are grown (although there are people who are called later in life and that is a beautiful thing). But I wouldn't worry that your vocation is so fragile that if you don't act on it RIGHT AWAY it'll disappear like a puff of smoke. God doesn't work like that. Can you maybe rest in God's love for you and God's delight in you for a while? Without necessarily pushing yourself SO hard regarding the rest of your life? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
To Jesus Through Mary Posted July 12, 2011 Share Posted July 12, 2011 (edited) [quote name='FutureSister2009' timestamp='1310320319' post='2265340'] Thank you for being so helpful! I do understand what you're saying but I just want it so much. I really don't want to wait around for it. I don't want to take my final vows in my 40s or 50s. The whole discernment process will still take time once I'm there and the only way I can really know what it's like is to experience it. I really feel strongly about it. I still have to wait a year regardless so I will take time to grow up while I'm at school. [/quote] Well we missed you this weekend. I understand you having some anxiety. I read in a previous post that you are worried what they will believe you in the future and so on. But what I have seen from them, they are very accepting women. Flaws and all, they embraced me. Be not afraid. Praying for you in your discernment!! (and I don't think you need to worry about making final vows until you are 40/50, but even if you are still a bride of Christ :D) Edited July 12, 2011 by To Jesus Through Mary Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OnlySunshine Posted July 12, 2011 Share Posted July 12, 2011 [quote name='krissylou' timestamp='1310424199' post='2265951'] If you enter at, say, 25 I can pretty much promise you'll take final vows before age 50. But of course you want this life and you don't want to wait. And that's a good thing. But, just based on what you're saying here, it seems like you're putting a LOT of pressure on yourself for some reason and it's stressing you out. Leading you to do things like plan the SSVM retreat, get all worried about everything "What if I get lost in the train station?" "How awkward will it be for a Sister to pick me up at the train?" And then you cancel at the last minute and then you sound like you regret cancelling ... You seem to be putting a LOT of pressure on yourself. I remember one time, talking to my pastor about a particular issue over a period of time. At first he was saying "whatever balance works out for you, that's okay." After a while he was saying "you keep coming to my office stressing out about this. The status quo is CLEARLY not working for you! Do something else!" Okay, good point. That was me. And you are not me. But just from what you're saying on these boards, and maybe I'm totally misreading, but your approach seems to be REALLY stressing you out. It doesn't seem to be working for you. And you talk a LOT about "not wanting to lose your vocation!" Well if God is calling you he will still be calling you at 21. I'm not saying wait until you're widowed and your children are grown (although there are people who are called later in life and that is a beautiful thing). But I wouldn't worry that your vocation is so fragile that if you don't act on it RIGHT AWAY it'll disappear like a puff of smoke. God doesn't work like that. Can you maybe rest in God's love for you and God's delight in you for a while? Without necessarily pushing yourself SO hard regarding the rest of your life? [/quote] iawtc I put too much pressure on myself early in my discernment as well and it led to a lot of heartache. So much so that I considered giving up the search (and did at one point until the Holy Spirit wouldn't stop nagging me!). But I realize now that I was acting in my timing and not God's. If things are causing you pressure, you can pretty much be sure that it's not from God. God doesn't pester us to the point of exhaustion, stress, and headache. Take this time for prayer. You don't need to do everything NOW. God will wait patiently for you if you wait patiently for God. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FutureSister2009 Posted July 12, 2011 Share Posted July 12, 2011 Thank you all for the advice. I am sorry for always posting my issues on here. What I'm trying to focus on right now is the possibilities of teaching CCD when I transfer and maybe temporarily joining the Parish. It's going to be very hard for me to leave my current Parish but I am looking forward to my visits. Right now, I'm just focusing on that, and increasing my prayer life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
To Jesus Through Mary Posted July 12, 2011 Share Posted July 12, 2011 [quote name='FutureSister2009' timestamp='1310496056' post='2266423'] and increasing my prayer life. [/quote] Word! Always a good route to go! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cmaD2006 Posted July 14, 2011 Share Posted July 14, 2011 [quote name='FutureSister2009' timestamp='1310320319' post='2265340'] Thank you for being so helpful! I do understand what you're saying but I just want it so much. I really don't want to wait around for it. I don't want to take my final vows in my 40s or 50s. The whole discernment process will still take time once I'm there and the only way I can really know what it's like is to experience it. I really feel strongly about it. I still have to wait a year regardless so I will take time to grow up while I'm at school. [/quote] Well ... if I enter again I will probably be saying my final vows say, in my 50s. Alas mine isn't a normal discernment case . One recommendation though -- the next time you set up a visit, with any community whatsoever, DON'T CANCEL BECAUSE YOU DON'T FEEL LIKE GOING AT THE LAST MINUTE. If you look at St. Ignatius' rules for discernment ... if you made that decision in peace, and then find yourself in utter turmoil, it's a bad idea to change the original decision because precisely you aren't in peace. You don't know what is influencing you at the time ... it can be the human spirit, it could be the enemy. Peace (the inner,deep kind) is a sign of God's presence. Peacetime is the time to make a decision -- turmoil is the time to wait and stick with any previous decisions. Mind you if you have to cancel due to not being able to get there (i.e. the car breaks down, the person taking you has gotten really ill, etc.) that's a different story. I remember one discernment retreat I made -- by day 2 I was sooo antsy about leaving. Thought about it. My car was just in the parking lot and I had my keys. But -- I stuck it out. It was a good experience -- although I knew 100% that the community was not for me. And when I entered community the 2nd time ... I came really, really, really close to cancelling the flights. Really close. My sister (who isn't catholic) came to the rescue and said "you ARE getting on that plane!" I'm glad I lived that year in community, with all of the joys and pains that were involved. It has led to tremendous growth. Growth that wouldn't have happened if I didn't get on the plane. Hope this makes sense (I'm tired and may be rambling by now). Blessings on your journey. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FutureSister2009 Posted July 14, 2011 Share Posted July 14, 2011 [quote name='cmariadiaz' timestamp='1310620363' post='2267296'] Well ... if I enter again I will probably be saying my final vows say, in my 50s. Alas mine isn't a normal discernment case . One recommendation though -- the next time you set up a visit, with any community whatsoever, DON'T CANCEL BECAUSE YOU DON'T FEEL LIKE GOING AT THE LAST MINUTE. If you look at St. Ignatius' rules for discernment ... if you made that decision in peace, and then find yourself in utter turmoil, it's a bad idea to change the original decision because precisely you aren't in peace. You don't know what is influencing you at the time ... it can be the human spirit, it could be the enemy. Peace (the inner,deep kind) is a sign of God's presence. Peacetime is the time to make a decision -- turmoil is the time to wait and stick with any previous decisions. Mind you if you have to cancel due to not being able to get there (i.e. the car breaks down, the person taking you has gotten really ill, etc.) that's a different story. I remember one discernment retreat I made -- by day 2 I was sooo antsy about leaving. Thought about it. My car was just in the parking lot and I had my keys. But -- I stuck it out. It was a good experience -- although I knew 100% that the community was not for me. And when I entered community the 2nd time ... I came really, really, really close to cancelling the flights. Really close. My sister (who isn't catholic) came to the rescue and said "you ARE getting on that plane!" I'm glad I lived that year in community, with all of the joys and pains that were involved. It has led to tremendous growth. Growth that wouldn't have happened if I didn't get on the plane. Hope this makes sense (I'm tired and may be rambling by now). Blessings on your journey. [/quote] That's helpful. Thank you. When I finally do work up the courage to visit the SSVMs, I would prefer to have a real visit. This was going to be a silent retreat. I did like the idea, but I would rather absorb what they're daily lifestyle is like because that's important. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MargaretTeresa Posted July 14, 2011 Share Posted July 14, 2011 I GET TO PARTY WITH THE PAULINES!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lisa Posted July 14, 2011 Share Posted July 14, 2011 [quote name='MargaretTeresa' timestamp='1310684968' post='2267530'] I GET TO PARTY WITH THE PAULINES!!! [/quote] woot woot!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
To Jesus Through Mary Posted July 14, 2011 Share Posted July 14, 2011 (edited) [quote name='MargaretTeresa' timestamp='1310684968' post='2267530'] I GET TO PARTY WITH THE PAULINES!!! [/quote] amesomeness! When!? Edited July 14, 2011 by To Jesus Through Mary Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MargaretTeresa Posted July 14, 2011 Share Posted July 14, 2011 [quote name='To Jesus Through Mary' timestamp='1310685022' post='2267532'] amesomeness! When!? [/quote] August! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
emilier98 Posted July 15, 2011 Share Posted July 15, 2011 I'm going to visit the Summit Dominicans for Labor Day weekend! It's official! Tickets are booked and Sr. Mary Catherine knows! Yay!!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lisa Posted July 15, 2011 Share Posted July 15, 2011 I'm hoping to go see the DSMME for profession Masses!!!! pray for me that I can find accommodations (I doubt they will have room since all the sisters are home and families are coming) and time off work! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vee Posted July 15, 2011 Author Share Posted July 15, 2011 [quote name='Lisa' timestamp='1310739046' post='2267713'] I'm hoping to go see the DSMME for profession Masses!!!! pray for me that I can find accommodations (I doubt they will have room since all the sisters are home and families are coming) and time off work! [/quote] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lisa Posted July 15, 2011 Share Posted July 15, 2011 [quote name='vee8' timestamp='1310747059' post='2267766'] [/quote] sneak into the cloister???? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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