JTheresa Posted June 1, 2010 Share Posted June 1, 2010 [quote name='TeresaBenedicta' date='01 June 2010 - 01:04 AM' timestamp='1275368699' post='2121935'] Random question for the random vocations thread: How do y'all deal with the desire to be in religious life already, but having to be out in the world for however long for whatever circumstances? (Hope I don't bring things too serious with this! Feel free to continue with the silliness!) [/quote] i cant handle it!!!! im dying out here!!!! Must... go... to... convent!!!! Ahhh!!! I would like to see how everyone else is getting along in this area. For me its quite the struggle. Hardly any of my family or friends feel the same way about God and religion as I do anymore. They're still good Catholics, but it's still so... different. It so hard to explain. So many things that I'm used to doing with them seem pointless right now in the greater scheme of what I'm called to do and I feel like I'm wasting time until I can begin formation. I don't know. My thinking is kinda muddy right now. Guess my brain needs a bath. Anyone interested in spotaneous brain surgery? Maybe we could go on a spree and just randomly start implanting vocations into peoples minds (figuratively speaking of course). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
laetitia crucis Posted June 1, 2010 Share Posted June 1, 2010 [quote name='TeresaBenedicta' date='01 June 2010 - 01:04 AM' timestamp='1275368699' post='2121935'] Random question for the random vocations thread: How do y'all deal with the desire to be in religious life already, but having to be out in the world for however long for whatever circumstances? (Hope I don't bring things too serious with this! Feel free to continue with the silliness!) [/quote] For myself, I find this to be something rather difficult to deal with because I want so much to "be there already!" (O, blessed virtue of patience, how I sorely lack thee), yet something that has been a great blessing in "knowing myself" at the same time. On the one hand, there's that feeling of restlessness... the waiting, especially when so much is still unknown. On the other hand, there's a more urgent sense of trying to embrace every single moment of each day because for all I know, this could be my last period of time with my family for a very long time. And on one foot , I know I must keep pushing forward in living a life of grace without being in the convent for now... without having to "depend" on a communal schedule to keep me in order. There's no time or place for spiritual laziness! (Unfortunately, I imagine I am rather guilty of being a lazy bum on various levels of life right now. Or at least I certainly feel like one at times. ) The other foot tries to stay in line with it's partner. Also, as cheesy as it might sound, I find VS to be a great consolation -- just knowing that there are others with the same longings and desires, the same difficulties and trials, etc.... I thank God for that. (Not that I wish for or rejoice in others' trials/difficulties! ) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
laetitia crucis Posted June 1, 2010 Share Posted June 1, 2010 JTheresa -- your avatar is one of my absolute favorite paintings of St. Francis! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JTheresa Posted June 1, 2010 Share Posted June 1, 2010 [quote name='laetitia crucis' date='01 June 2010 - 01:29 AM' timestamp='1275370149' post='2121955'] JTheresa -- your avatar is one of my absolute favorite paintings of St. Francis! [/quote] Thanks!! Coming from a Dominican, I see that as a great compliment! I love how all of your avatars are from Star Trek. That is the epitomy of epicness. Btw, you did a good job answering TBs question. I feel the same way, (especially the part about the schedule lol) I just allow the Devil to get me too frustrated. I need to go to mass more. That would probably help. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TeresaBenedicta Posted June 1, 2010 Share Posted June 1, 2010 [quote name='laetitia crucis' date='01 June 2010 - 02:28 AM' timestamp='1275370107' post='2121954'] For myself, I find this to be something rather difficult to deal with because I want so much to "be there already!" (O, blessed virtue of patience, how I sorely lack thee), yet something that has been a great blessing in "knowing myself" at the same time. On the one hand, there's that feeling of restlessness... the waiting, especially when so much is still unknown. On the other hand, there's a more urgent sense of trying to embrace every single moment of each day because for all I know, this could be my last period of time with my family for a very long time. And on one foot , I know I must keep pushing forward in living a life of grace without being in the convent for now... without having to "depend" on a communal schedule to keep me in order. There's no time or place for spiritual laziness! (Unfortunately, I imagine I am rather guilty of being a lazy bum on various levels of life right now. Or at least I certainly feel like one at times. ) The other foot tries to stay in line with it's partner. Also, as cheesy as it might sound, I find VS to be a great consolation -- just knowing that there are others with the same longings and desires, the same difficulties and trials, etc.... I thank God for that. (Not that I wish for or rejoice in others' trials/difficulties! ) [/quote] Ah, exactly!!!! I mean, there is certainly some consolation in knowing that (seeing as we're not in the convent yet) we're doing God's will... right here, right now. And what more should we want to do? Yet it's so difficult. The family life. Being surrounded by culture that, even if it is Catholic (although mine really isn't), doesn't understand this great longing for God and the desire to live a life of holiness. The spiritual laziness (definitely something I struggle with too!). And even, well at least it seems so for me, the near impossibility of living a life that is completely and totally dedicated to holiness!! I mean, try as I might... I feel like I am so easily side-tracked and my eyes are taken off the Lord (even to things that are good in themselves, not necessarily even to sinful things). What's the Matt Maher song? [i]I flirt with the world, it steals my love for You...[/i] I'm sure there must be some sort of purification going on in this "waiting" period, right? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vee Posted June 1, 2010 Author Share Posted June 1, 2010 [quote name='TeresaBenedicta' date='01 June 2010 - 12:04 AM' timestamp='1275368699' post='2121935'] Random question for the random vocations thread: How do y'all deal with the desire to be in religious life already, but having to be out in the world for however long for whatever circumstances? (Hope I don't bring things too serious with this! Feel free to continue with the silliness!) [/quote] Great question since I'm struggling with the same thing myself. Basically I just walk around pouting and moping all day I'll have to think about this a bit but right now it helps to read other people's answers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
laetitia crucis Posted June 1, 2010 Share Posted June 1, 2010 [quote name='TeresaBenedicta' date='01 June 2010 - 01:44 AM' timestamp='1275371074' post='2121965'] Ah, exactly!!!! I mean, there is certainly some consolation in knowing that (seeing as we're not in the convent yet) we're doing God's will... right here, right now. [b]And what more should we want to do?[/b][/quote] I think for myself, I have to continually be reminded that [i]each moment[/i] is an opportunity to grow in grace -- no matter [i]where [/i]I am. It's easy for me to have the whole mentality of "the grass is always greener on the other (convent) side". Yet, truth be known, we could die today, tomorrow, or any time [i]before[/i] making it to the convent. I can't "hold out" on living a holy life just because I feel like I'm just hanging out in a "waiting room". Where's Mad Eye Moody to scream "CONSTANT VIGILENCE!!!" in my face when I need it? [quote name='TeresaBenedicta'] Yet it's so difficult. The family life. Being surrounded by culture that, even if it is Catholic (although mine really isn't), doesn't understand this great longing for God and the desire to live a life of holiness. The spiritual laziness (definitely something I struggle with too!). And even, well at least it seems so for me, the near impossibility of living a life that is completely and totally dedicated to holiness!! I mean, try as I might... I feel like I am so easily side-tracked and my eyes are taken off the Lord (even to things that are good in themselves, not necessarily even to sinful things). What's the Matt Maher song? [i]I flirt with the world, it steals my love for You...[/i] I'm sure there must be some sort of purification going on in this "waiting" period, right? [/quote] I understand completely about the family life aspect. There are definitely "black sheep" moments, and several moments of misunderstandings. My mother, especially, doesn't even [i]want [/i]to understand this whole "nun thing". That's rough times. So now, I suppose it's just something we don't really talk about. (Like not talking about the huge neon yellow elephant in the middle of the room.) However, one of the really unexpected positives about being home with family is that my younger sister and her family have moved back in town a few weeks ago. I've been helping her with her two children (a five year old and an almost-six month old) and this has been a beautiful blessing. Growing up, my sister and I were never that close, but now... I'd say we're definitely really good friends. I guess all it took was a few years apart to mature. My sister has been really open to understanding my vocation. She asks questions and listens with an open heart. Such a blessing! (Not to mention, her children melt my heart... and occasionally make me want to pull out my hair with the older one - Miss Drama Queen. ) Anyhooooo... I think I should make a poster proclaiming "CONSTANT VIGILENCE!" to be a many-times-a-day reminder. Maybe I'll put those "gloomy" pictures of St. Teresa of Avila and St. Thomas Aquinas on it. P.S. -- "Sing Over Your Children" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tridenteen Posted June 1, 2010 Share Posted June 1, 2010 JMJ I have so much school to finish, that I don't think I will ever get done. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aalpha1989 Posted June 1, 2010 Share Posted June 1, 2010 [quote name='Tridenteen' date='01 June 2010 - 10:49 AM' timestamp='1275403742' post='2122066'] JMJ I have so much school to finish, that I don't think I will ever get done. [/quote] Maybe you don't need to? Depending on your vocation, of course. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IgnatiusofLoyola Posted June 1, 2010 Share Posted June 1, 2010 [quote name='Tridenteen' date='01 June 2010 - 09:49 AM' timestamp='1275403742' post='2122066'] JMJ I have so much school to finish, that I don't think I will ever get done. [/quote] [quote name='aalpha1989' date='01 June 2010 - 10:24 AM' timestamp='1275405877' post='2122085'] Maybe you don't need to? Depending on your vocation, of course. [/quote] I THINK Tridenteen is talking about finishing high school. (And, high school CAN be a pain, so I feel for her.) As far as I know, most Orders prefer postulants to have at least a high school diploma. If I am wrong, either about Tridenteen being in the process of finishing high school, or about Orders preferring postulants to have at least a high school diploma, then please correct me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TeresaBenedicta Posted June 1, 2010 Share Posted June 1, 2010 [quote name='laetitia crucis' date='01 June 2010 - 11:39 AM' timestamp='1275403153' post='2122062'] I think for myself, I have to continually be reminded that [i]each moment[/i] is an opportunity to grow in grace -- no matter [i]where [/i]I am. It's easy for me to have the whole mentality of "the grass is always greener on the other (convent) side". Yet, truth be known, we could die today, tomorrow, or any time [i]before[/i] making it to the convent. I can't "hold out" on living a holy life just because I feel like I'm just hanging out in a "waiting room". Where's Mad Eye Moody to scream "CONSTANT VIGILENCE!!!" in my face when I need it? [/quote] Haha!!! YES!!! Mad Eye Moody to the rescue!!! I'm not sure if you've read it, but there's a spiritual classic that speaks of exactly what you just mentioned. It's [i]Abandonment to Divine Providence[/i] by Jean-Pierre de Caussade. My SD had me read a few months ago-- it's absolutely excellent! Anywho, in one of the first chapters, Father Caussade talks about the "sacrament of the present moment" which is exactly what you said: each moment is an opportunity to grow in grace. By the way, I recommend this book to everyone in our positions... waiting so desperately for convent life... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IgnatiusofLoyola Posted June 1, 2010 Share Posted June 1, 2010 Remembering that there are other vocations besides a relgious vocation--e.g., marriage, I can totally relate to how hard it must be for all of you with religious vocations to wait until you enter. I was ready to get married at about 20, but thankfully, God knew that I was too immature at 20 to consider marriage (some people aren't--I definitely was), he never put anyone in my path whom it was suitable to marry. And, I think that one of the reasons I eventually married the wrong person was that I "pushed" things. I was so afraid that no one would ever want to marry me that I married a man who loved me, but, in the end, wasn't the right person to be my husband. I wanted to get married so much that I overlooked "red flags." In the end, it was a very harsh lesson that I need to learn to accept God's timing, which almost always is not my timing. For a smart person, I can be totally clueless. So, sometimes, so God has needed to do some drastic things to break me down enough to listen to him. At this point in my life, I'm waiting to find out what is next for me. I'm not being passive about the process, but somehow, in my life, it always seems like things take too long. So, all of you who can't wait to enter the monastery are much more mature than I was at your age. I sincerely hope that when you enter, the life and the community is everything you hoped for. Sometimes we only learn what is right (or not right) for us, by trying something new, which clarifies what it is we actually need. So, if you find that the community you've chosen is not the right one for you, it is not a failure, it is a learning experience (albeit a very painful one). Everything you've learned you'll take with you and it will help you discern the next step for you. But, waiting is VERY hard. I just keep reminding myself, "God's timetable is not my timetable." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brightsadness Posted June 1, 2010 Share Posted June 1, 2010 Wonderful thread. I feel rather random of late.[img]http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/public/style_emoticons/default/lol_roll.gif[/img] Went to Crater lake yesterday with my folks. Last Oregon thing to do. It was glorious. Still covered with snow and the trees are glorious. Climbed to the rim but couldn't see the water because of fog. And it all sang Glory, Glory to Our God. Today we begin the drive back to Illinois (with my stuff for storage in the trailer.) My dad is driving the Uhaul and Mom and I are in my car. We plan to take it slowly. Please keep us in your prayers. Anya Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
laetitia crucis Posted June 1, 2010 Share Posted June 1, 2010 [quote name='TeresaBenedicta' date='01 June 2010 - 01:54 PM' timestamp='1275414862' post='2122169'] Haha!!! YES!!! Mad Eye Moody to the rescue!!! I'm not sure if you've read it, but there's a spiritual classic that speaks of exactly what you just mentioned. It's [i]Abandonment to Divine Providence[/i] by Jean-Pierre de Caussade. My SD had me read a few months ago-- it's absolutely excellent! Anywho, in one of the first chapters, Father Caussade talks about the "sacrament of the present moment" which is exactly what you said: each moment is an opportunity to grow in grace. By the way, I recommend this book to everyone in our positions... waiting so desperately for convent life... [/quote] Oh yes -- [i]Abandonment to Divine Providence[/i]! I have read that! Actually -- [i]Providentially[/i] -- that was one of the last books I had read before finding out I was leaving the formation house. Funny how God works, huh? Awesome, awesome book! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
laetitia crucis Posted June 1, 2010 Share Posted June 1, 2010 [quote name='IgnatiusofLoyola' date='01 June 2010 - 02:14 PM' timestamp='1275416064' post='2122183'] Remembering that there are other vocations besides a relgious vocation--e.g., marriage, I can totally relate to how hard it must be for all of you with religious vocations to wait until you enter. I was ready to get married at about 20, but thankfully, God knew that I was too immature at 20 to consider marriage (some people aren't--I definitely was), he never put anyone in my path whom it was suitable to marry. And, I think that one of the reasons I eventually married the wrong person was that I "pushed" things. I was so afraid that no one would ever want to marry me that I married a man who loved me, but, in the end, wasn't the right person to be my husband. I wanted to get married so much that I overlooked "red flags." In the end, it was a very harsh lesson that I need to learn to accept God's timing, which almost always is not my timing. For a smart person, I can be totally clueless. So, sometimes, so God has needed to do some drastic things to break me down enough to listen to him. At this point in my life, I'm waiting to find out what is next for me. I'm not being passive about the process, but somehow, in my life, it always seems like things take too long. So, all of you who can't wait to enter the monastery are much more mature than I was at your age. I sincerely hope that when you enter, the life and the community is everything you hoped for. Sometimes we only learn what is right (or not right) for us, by trying something new, which clarifies what it is we actually need. So, if you find that the community you've chosen is not the right one for you, it is not a failure, it is a learning experience (albeit a very painful one). Everything you've learned you'll take with you and it will help you discern the next step for you. But, waiting is VERY hard. I just keep reminding myself, "God's timetable is not my timetable." [/quote] So true for me (in the religious life context) as well, Ignatius! Again, another "Twilight Zone" moment! OoOOooooOoo.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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