My Problems With Chastity

[Paladin D]

[quote name='thywillbedone7' date='Apr 14 2004, 05:26 PM'] Well than think about what goes into your head...all those thoughts...all those sinful, lustful, hellish, disgustingly immodestly, disrespectful dirty thoughts. And then think about how we are called to pray without ceasing...and just stop and think that at this very moment Christ is watching you. And His Mother, and all the Angels and Saints are in Heaven on there knees praying for you to stop, because with every thought you are physically ripping your soul farther from God. It is like everytime you masterbate you are taking a needle and poking the Sacred Heart of Jesus, and then poking the Immaculate Heart of Mary. Sin HURT'S! It may feel good to you, but to Christ, masterbation feels like nails driven in His hands, and feet. You feel pleasure, Christ feels thorns in his skull. You feel good, Christ feels catnine tails ripping off His flesh, He feels the weight of the Cross on His Back. He feels whips and punches, spits and mockery. All this is given to Christ, Our Lord, everytime we masterbate.

Pax et Agape per Maria, Andy [/quote]
Another good post! I give up .

[Fiat_Voluntas_Tua]

I appologize for assuming...I feel very humbled for assuming you were a guy. Usually guys have these problems. I haven't heard of many women with this problem, but I do know it happens. Let me know if there is something I can do to help...besides my prayers.
I have a lot of info on Chastity, so if you want to talk e-mail me at In_need_of_mercy@hotmail.com

Pax et Agape per Maria, Andy

[SacredTruth]

Thywillbedone7....

I think more women have this problem then we realize. I think it just seems more socially acceptable for the problem to be addressed or spoken of by men than women.

I'm a woman... I know at times it can be a problem for me too.

At first I wondered if She was a He but as I read everyone elses responses I jumped on the bandwagon and thought she was a guy... then I stood corrected as did everyone else.... I'm glad it was brought up by a woman though.

[Paladin D]

Believe it or not, recent studies I've read... show that women look at porn just about the same amount as men do, but women tend to keep it secret, while men openly admit it.

Not saying anyone looks at porn here, just wanted to throw that little tid-bit out in the open.

[Fiat_Voluntas_Tua]

that sounds true Paladin. VERY VERY sad, it fills my heart with sorrow everytime i hear about someone indulging in pornography. It is like looking at pictures of Satan. and for some reason people seem to like it. If anyone has a problem with pornography please let me know...I really really would like to help you get over it. It is hard to overcome alone.

Pax et Agape per Maria, Andy

[Fiat_Voluntas_Tua]

that sounds true Paladin. VERY VERY sad, it fills my heart with sorrow everytime i hear about someone indulging in pornography. It is like looking at pictures of Satan. and for some reason people seem to like it. If anyone has a problem with pornography please let me know...I really really would like to help you get over it. It is hard to overcome alone.

Pax et Agape per Maria, Andy

[nikkan_hanil]

How much does it hurt you when you do it? Not at all, yes? Enjoyable as it may be, think about how [i]Jesus[/i] feels afterwards. Think about it. Do you not feel any guilt afterwards. Sexual gratification is a very touchy subject because it is known to be an extremely difficult thing to get rid of; it's addictive. Now, I'm sure you know that God did not create our private parts as sexual playthings, so think this: How sinful is this? If you have confessed more than two or three times, and are thinking you can keep on because you have the sacrament to restore grace, you're commiting sacrilege, therefore putting your soul in more danger. Though concern for your own soul is a positive motive to not sin, think of the main reason why you should not indulge into sinful territory: love. For Jesus. Think of how bad you want the grace you need to recieve that Eucharist that you pray in front of daily. Yes, it's tough. beaver dam tough, but think of the consequences, the lessons you will learn over and over again, and the pain that you are causing Jesus, your future spouse (if matrimony happens to be your vocation), and the sin against nature you are commiting. Say at least 3 Hail Mary's daily for purity, and I reccomend going to adoration, and spiritual contemplation. You have me utmost and eloquent prayers. God bless.

[HomeTeamFamily]

as someone struggling with this on the tail end of like 4-5 years of struggling (only about a year of regular confessions and the like) i have come to realize through the help of a friend that when we pray for something like "God please keep me away from temptation".....while i understand taht He could concievably take the temptation away completely, what is probably going to happen is that He is going to give you an opportunity to practice being strong for Him.......i couldnt understand why, after confessing my sins.....i come back to my dorm room and have the urge to hop on the internet again.....its tough and i thank God that i am able to fight harder nowadays....defintely pray the rosary and ask St. Joseph for intercession (he is the icon of purity)

pm me if you wanna chat about it, ive been through it

peace pham

adam

[theculturewarrior]

God created the desire for conjugal union within us all. It is a good and holy desire. When it becomes and uncontrollable urge, when you battle the mere thought of it, and the cross seems too heavy to bear...that is spiritual warfare. That is an attack of the devil.

We have a silver bullet though, and that is prayer to our Guardian Angel, and to St. Michael. Ask them to defend you and protect you. It REALLY helps.

Another recommendation (where you will probably find this one reiterated), go to the resources library here at phatmass. (I think it is under the apologetics phorum?) SOMEWHERE on phatmass there is a lot of good information on sex addiction.

You will be in my prayers.

[Pio Nono]

JMJ
4/14 - Easter Wednesday

The Holy Father is on record as saying that pornography is not sinful because it shows too much - it is sinful because it doesn't show enough. It encourages us to stop at the merely physical level. For what it's worth.

[Theologian in Training]

[quote name='CreepyCrawler' date='Apr 14 2004, 04:45 PM'] I'm new here and I'm so upset about the fact that I masturbate that I am posting on this site. I feel like a loser but since you all don't know me it's a little better than having to admit this to someone face to face. I hate even going to Confession when I do it, but I know that I have to every time. I just go behind the screen and even then I get nervous.
It's like I'm being attacked by demons or maybe I'm possessed. Sometimes I just think I'm evil because part of me wants to and part of me does not want to and it's just like the angel on one shoulder and the devil on the other. Maybe I'm schizophrenic. Yesterday I was studying in the library and was shaking because I tempted so badly. I finally went home and went for a run and afterwards I thought, there, I've defeated this b/c I'm tired and happy. But then I had to shower and it was all downhill from there. I don't know what to do. I pray every night, I visit the Eucharist every day (I can only get in 10 minutes before school but I love it), and I can go for weeks without even thinking about it (or if I do, it's just a passing thought and nothing more). But then when I actually do think about it for more than 5 seconds, I always fold. I'm a total weakling. I thought about St. Someone I don't know who but he threw himself in a rosebush. I thought about this as I was driving home and I wanted to crash my car to help me resist temptation but I didn't want to hurt anyone so I didn't. I just kept saying 'Jesus please help me' and that helped me resist the urge for about an hour or two, which is longer than I've ever been able to before, but I ended up giving in. I don't even want to pray for days because I feel so bad about choosing to do wrong. I'm just miserable and afterwards I get so depressed about it and my whole week is ruined until I can go to confession. But after I've done it once, I'll keep doing it again because I feel like I'm this horrible sinner anyway. I've read everything I can about it online from Catholic sources but it only helps when I don't want to do it. When I am tempted, the last thing I think about are the things I read online. And then when I say the act of contrition I just think, yeah, well if I really was contrite I wouldn't keep sinning. What can I do? Pray for me. [/quote]
I will definitely pray for you, and in particular commend your care to the Blessed Virgin Mary, exemplar of purity, and one of the best woman, in my opinion, for a female to understand and learn purity.

One thing that does worry me a bit is that you say your guilt is so much that you can no longer pray. Think about this for a moment, you are weak, you don't want to sin again (assuming you are already in the state of sin) so instead of praying you merely give into the temptation. Not to sound overly dramatic, but what better way for Satan and his minions to gain a foothold then by making sure you don't pray.

Sometimes, though the temptation may be great, prayer is what is needed. You tell yourself, I cannot pray, I am a sinner, but Christ already knows that and He is waiting patiently for you to come before Him and ask Him for help. Our pride prevents us from wanting to pray, we feel too unworthy, but that unworthiness should bring us to our knees in order for us to cry out to God, not drive us further away from Him. Yeah, it may be the most difficult thing you may have to do, but if you do that Christ will give you the means, He will show you a way out. You are His child, and knowing you have fallen, wants to pick you up, and give you the means necessary to carry on. When a small child falls and skins her knee she doesn't run away from her parents, she runs to them, tears in her eyes, wanting to be held, wanting the pain to go away. We are God's children and we need His help. When we run away we are telling Him we can do it ourselves, we don't need His help....but we can't do it ourselves, otherwise we too would be God.

It is difficult to overcome, but it is not impossible, for all thing are possible with God. So next time you fall into this sin, don't flee from God, rather run to Him as a little child, tell Him your pains, and He will help you, brush you off and bandage you up, because that is what a Father does for His children.

You are most certainly in my prayers

God Bless Alelluia!!!!

[BLAZEr]

Get one of those chord rosaries, and wear it around your wrist . . . all the time . . . bed, shower, etc.


Also, you have to realize when it's most common for you to fall into the sin and be prepared for those moments. Spiritually, as well as physically prepared. Wear more clothes to bed, assign prayers to the rooms of your house and say them when you go into them. Ask your guardian angel to fight for your purity . . . ask him to lay down his life for your purity . . . Padre Pio says your angel won't refuse you . . .


Also, get more exercise (I'm bad at this one). When you go to bed exhausted, you fall asleep faster.

Also, sleep in a way that makes you uncomfortable (cold room if you like it warm, no pillow, wear your shoes to bed) . . . this things will help you remember to fight the battle for your purity . . .

Or make a promise to tell someone everytime you do it . . . this works really well if you choose someone you'd be really embarassed to tell, or if you choose someone who will be your partner to fight it . . . someone who will pray for you, call you up, etc . . . I think this should be a partner who is the same gender as you.


I've been there for a lot of people fighthing this battle . . . if any of you guys need a spiritual partner, or someone to talk to about this, let me know . . . send me a PM or an email . . .

[Crusader_4]

Also my reccomendation (i think every guy struggles with this issue and a large percent of girls) is find a great confessor. I know anonymous confession is the general practice, but try to go to a one on one face on face confession with the same priest regulary. They can really help you out with this and like BLAZEr and others have said it helps to have spiritual buddy in this fight. I want to pass on one of my favourite prayers of Chastity

St. Thomas Aquinas:
Dearest Jesus! I know well that every perfect gift, and above all others that of chastity, depends upon the most powerful assistance of Your Providence, and that without you a creature can do nothing. Therefore, I pray that You to defend, with Your grace, chastity and purity in my soul as well as in my body. And if I have ever received through my senses any impression that could stain my chastity and purity, do You, Who is the Supreme Lord of all my powers, take it from me, that I may with an immaculate heart advance in your love and service, offering myself chaste all the days of my life on the most pure altar of Thy Divinity.
Amen.



also www.lifeteen.com has a great section about this definatly worth checking out!

[EcceNovaFacioOmni]

I will talk with anyone who needs help at anytime. Just ask.

[marielapin]

As a female who has struggled with this sin in the past (Jesus be praised because it has been 3+ years since I've even thought about doing it!!)

I can try and offer some advice, at least what worked for me to break the pattern.

Post a picture of Jesus next to your bed, in your bathroom, in the car, wherever you are where you are tempted.

If you are tempted all the time, wear a holy medal of the Divine Mercy (that was my favorite) or one of Mary. Make sure you have these blessed.

I also put a blessed rosary under my pillow, in my purse etc. Whenever the urge comes up, grasp the rosary and start praying, or your holy medal, or gaze at the picture of Jesus (again, I prefer the Image of the Divine Mercy) and ask Him for strength. Think of how He feels when you commit this sin. Remember you are grasping something blessed. Keep your hands on this blessed item and remember you do not want to desicrate it by commiting these acts.

I'm not going to say its easy - it is very difficult to break the pattern. But once you can completely put off the urge once, you can do it a second time, etc and it gets much easier from there. But remember not to let your guard down - Satan will pounce on you when you are the most vulnerable. That's why you need to surround yourself with holy reminders all the time!

You will be in my prayers! God Bless you for having the courage to post on here! We are all phamily and we know what you are going through.