Hostile Canadian Goose

[Paddington]

I was smoking a nutritious health stick on my apartment's back patio near the pond. It was raining and a goose just kept walking toward me. He looked blind, crazy and violent. He hissed. His beak looked sharp. I just watched him. He just kept coming. Finally, I ashed out my cigarette early and went in. I tried to finish it 10 minutes later, but the same psychotic goose came back within a minute acting like a Johnsonville brat again. I went inside.

Later I went out and my enemy was still there. This time a pair of geese confronted him for me and got him to back off. I stared at them for a minute, but they seemed okay. I told them to "get" and they did.

Today, there was a mallard and he was quite pleasant.

[MIKolbe]

The goose was probably lost.

If it was a male, it makes sense.

If it was a female, clearly I have made a sexist statement.

[laetitia crucis]

[quote name='MIkolbe' date='12 May 2010 - 09:26 AM' timestamp='1273670797' post='2109297']
The goose was probably lost.

If it was a male, it makes sense.

If it was a female, clearly I have made a sexist statement.


[/quote]

[Paddington]

Perhaps it was a female and her Aunt Gertrude was in town. She gets antsy without her Aunt Gertrude.

Edited May 12, 2010 by Paddington

[MIKolbe]

i find that post bigoted. You should consider taking a break from posting here.

[Paddington]

I was just trying to fit in.

[Bennn]

LOL

I've heard before that they can be violent. Don't worry, though. I have been bitten by a pony once, haha.

Pax Domini,
Ben

Edited May 12, 2010 by Bennn

[Paddington]

[quote name='Bennn' date='12 May 2010 - 11:15 AM' timestamp='1273673718' post='2109315']
LOL

I've heard before that they can be violent. Don't worry, though. I have been bitten by a pony once, haha.

Pax Domini,
Ben
[/quote]



That musta hurt.

[Bennn]

Nah, he was just warning me. [img]http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/public/style_emoticons/default/rolleyes.gif[/img]
It was when I was at a monastery, hanging the laundry outside to dry. He stumbled up to me, I tried to touch him and he bit my arm. It must have looked pretty stupid.

Pax Domini,
Ben

[IgnatiusofLoyola]

[quote name='Paddington' date='12 May 2010 - 08:19 AM' timestamp='1273670386' post='2109296']
I was smoking a nutritious health stick on my apartment's back patio near the pond. It was raining and a goose just kept walking toward me. He looked blind, crazy and violent. He hissed. His beak looked sharp. I just watched him. He just kept coming. Finally, I ashed out my cigarette early and went in. I tried to finish it 10 minutes later, but the same psychotic goose came back within a minute acting like a Johnsonville brat again. I went inside.

Later I went out and my enemy was still there. This time a pair of geese confronted him for me and got him to back off. I stared at them for a minute, but they seemed okay. I told them to "get" and they did.

Today, there was a mallard and he was quite pleasant.
[/quote]

What month is it? May. And, May equals mating/reproducing season for geese. Geese are among the very few animal species that are monogamous, and there are certain parallels between goose behavior and human behavior.

First job for May is to, well, mate, find a nest, lay eggs, protect the nest until the eggs hatch, and then, as the summer goes on, protect the goslings until they can fend for themselves. Unlike human children, goslings are grown-up after one summer and do not go to college.

But, what about geese without mates? Their mates may have died or been killed. Or maybe even more likely, this was a first-year adult (probably male, based on his behavior) who came back home to where he was born, to find that mom and dad weren't around or didn't want him any more. The goose acted blind, crazy, and violent--not untypical behaviors among certain young males (not on Phatmass, obviously) who find it is mating season, and they have no mate.

The pair of geese may not have laid their eggs yet (usually one or the other always stays on the nest to keep the eggs warm and to protect them), but they are a team, and they are guarding their territory. And, this young dude, probably not theirs, but born last summer to that messed-up goose couple next door, is nosing around looking for a chick, or to be precise, "female former gosling" to take the "big step" with him.

The other reason that I guess the geese couple may not have laid their eggs yet is because they left you alone. Once those eggs are in the nest, there is a second goose nearby on guard duty and the best thing to do is stay away.

I thought mallards mated for life, too. But I have also seen mallards acting in a very un-monogamous way. (Hmm, another parallel with people.) Just one mallard, acting very pleasant, means that he knows that the female mallards are still putting on their make-up, and he can chill for a while before he has to strut his mallard stuff to impress them. Somehow mallards must hide their nests better, or something, because I have yet to be chased by an angry mallard, but have carefully walked around many an angry goose, protecting its nest. If I escape, the goose often takes revenge by intentionally mistaking my car for a porta-potty (well, my car DOES move, after all).

As an acquaintance of mine once said, after spending Sat. night at the Hard Rock casino in Las Vegas (notable for its "not much older than 21" clientele), "The mating habits of all species are awkward." He didn't say "violent" (the Hard Rock has bouncers), but there is sometimes some of that, too, among people---and geese.

Edited May 12, 2010 by IgnatiusofLoyola

[T-Bone _]

Don't you know that relighting cigarettes is one of the worst things you can do, health-wise?

[Bennn]

Smoking is bad as it is, anyway.

Pax Domini,
Ben

[Paddington]

Thank you Ignatius! You are like the Discovery Channel.

T-Bone, for real? Do you mean by re-lighting the ash part? Or something else? Cuz I don't re-light the ash part. I rip it off first.

Benn, thank you.

[CatherineM]

Geese can be vicious. In college the duck pond across from Greek row had 3-4 of them, and they would go into the street and chase cars.

[MIKolbe]

i like how they honk.

it just sounds funny to me...