Human Sexuallity

[infinitelord1]

I personally think that for some people sexuallity may be hard to define for themselves.

How would you define someone based on the following...

1) Has sexual urges towards the same sex.
2) Has had romantic, physical, and sexual attractions for the opposite sex.
3) Has only had these attractions (as mentioned in #2) a few times throughout that persons life span.
4) Has had "crushes" on the opposite sex but not for the same sex.
5) Has had substantially more sexual urges towards the same sex than the opposite sex.
5) Is more easily turned on by the thought of same sex interaction than opposite sex interaction.
6) Finds it difficult to be attracted towards the opposite sex.

[God Conquers]

That person has conflicting attractions.


2 vs 6

4 vs 5


These are opposites... which one is it?


Why does anyone need to define their sexuality?

This is an extremely recent trend in human social interaction.

We are not defined by any one aspect of our being, sexuality or otherwise, but by the sum of the Father's Love for Us.

So this person is attracted to men and to women. What does it make them? Tempted. Most people are, all in different ways.

What does it mean for them practically? Struggle. Most people do, with their various temptations, their concupiscence and the world.




Don't spend your energy trying to define who you are and how you are different but spend it striving for Glory and becoming who you are meant to be in God's eyes.

[infinitelord1]

[quote name='God Conquers' date='20 April 2010 - 03:47 AM' timestamp='1271753224' post='2096623']
That person has conflicting attractions.


2 vs 6

4 vs 5


These are opposites... which one is it?


Why does anyone need to define their sexuality?

This is an extremely recent trend in human social interaction.

We are not defined by any one aspect of our being, sexuality or otherwise, but by the sum of the Father's Love for Us.

So this person is attracted to men and to women. What does it make them? Tempted. Most people are, all in different ways.

What does it mean for them practically? Struggle. Most people do, with their various temptations, their concupiscence and the world.




Don't spend your energy trying to define who you are and how you are different but spend it striving for Glory and becoming who you are meant to be in God's eyes.
[/quote]

very good answer...thank you.

[infinitelord1]

do you think that because there are people who do experience varying degrees of attractions to both sexes...that it suggests that homosexuallity is a sin and can be overcome?

[Sternhauser]

Let's start from the beginning. Homosexuality, meaning, "having a proclivity toward being attracted to the same sex," is not a sin. No temptation is sinful in itself. Alcoholism, meaning, "a strong proclivity [i]toward[/i] the abuse of alcohol," is not a sin. Acting upon those tendencies is sinful.

There are people with varying degrees of attraction to only the [i]opposite[/i] sex. I don't think that in itself, the attraction suggests anything about the morality of all types of acts among heterosexuals. One should judge the morality of an action by the moral quality of the act, not externalities.

It's disappointing to see Catholics arguing (not here) against homosexual behavior by saying, "Most people aren't attracted to the idea of performing this particular behavior. Therefore, it is morally wrong." It seems silly, but rendered down to its logical components, that is one of the arguments they use. It's an argument that could easily be used against any profession, priesthood, the religious life, or consecrated single life.

~Sternhauser

[infinitelord1]

[quote name='Sternhauser' date='20 April 2010 - 08:32 AM' timestamp='1271770351' post='2096738']
Let's start from the beginning. Homosexuality, meaning, "having a proclivity toward being attracted to the same sex," is not a sin. No temptation is sinful in itself. Alcoholism, meaning, "a strong proclivity [i]toward[/i] the abuse of alcohol," is not a sin. Acting upon those tendencies is sinful.

There are people with varying degrees of attraction to only the [i]opposite[/i] sex. I don't think that in itself, the attraction suggests anything about the morality of all types of acts among heterosexuals. One should judge the morality of an action by the moral quality of the act, not externalities.

It's disappointing to see Catholics arguing (not here) against homosexual behavior by saying, "Most people aren't attracted to the idea of performing this particular behavior. Therefore, it is morally wrong." It seems silly, but rendered down to its logical components, that is one of the arguments they use. It's an argument that could easily be used against any profession, priesthood, the religious life, or consecrated single life.

~Sternhauser
[/quote]

do you think that "having a proclivity toward being attracted to the same sex" is only defined by the word homosexual?

Edited April 20, 2010 by infinitelord1

[CatherineM]

I think human sexuality is on a bell curve. Very few of us are at the poles. Everyone has those occasional things where we might be attracted to someone we shouldn't be, especially during our teen years when our hormones are in flux. The problem comes when we think those rare instances have branded us.

[infinitelord1]

[quote name='CatherineM' date='20 April 2010 - 10:01 AM' timestamp='1271775672' post='2096766']
I think human sexuality is on a bell curve. Very few of us are at the poles. Everyone has those occasional things where we might be attracted to someone we shouldn't be, especially during our teen years when our hormones are in flux. The problem comes when we think those rare instances have branded us.
[/quote]

so are you suggesting that someone who has sexual urges towards the same sex is homosexual? even though they may have had some of the most amazing sexual feelings and romantic feelings for the opposite sex at certain points in their life? are people supposed to forget those feelings and assume a homosexual identity?

Edited April 20, 2010 by infinitelord1

[Anomaly]

[quote name='infinitelord1' date='20 April 2010 - 02:23 AM' timestamp='1271741021' post='2096601']
I personally think that for some people sexuallity may be hard to define for themselves.

How would you define someone based on the following...

1) Has sexual urges towards the same sex.
2) Has had romantic, physical, and sexual attractions for the opposite sex.
3) Has only had these attractions (as mentioned in #2) a few times throughout that persons life span.
4) Has had "crushes" on the opposite sex but not for the same sex.
5) Has had substantially more sexual urges towards the same sex than the opposite sex.
5) Is more easily turned on by the thought of same sex interaction than opposite sex interaction.
6) Finds it difficult to be attracted towards the opposite sex.
[/quote]
Sexual attaction and emotional relationships are two different things, though intertwinned.
Having sexual urges towards the same sex does NOT neccessarily mean you are strictly homosexual.
From what you describe above, I would say that you are well within normal range of having sexual desires and drive, however,
it is apparent that you find a sexual relationship with the same sex as being less demanding and difficult on a emotional/relationship level.
You've had 'crushes' on females, but you probably find it very difficult and scary to become emotionally vulnerable to them. That is the natural emotional reaction/attraction but more difficult.
However, if you remove the emotional attraction and strip it to more fundamental sexual attraction, you find it easier to have a superficial relationship with males and statisfy your desire and urges for physical intimacy.
I recommend a thearapist to work on your deep distrust of making yourself vulnerable to women and you will find you physical urges will fall in-line with your emotional urges.
I would define you as well within the normal range with some issues like most people. You probably over-think some of your fears but are more introspective and willing to understand yourself than the average. I think a counselor or thearpist would probably work great for you and help you become happier than the average.

[add]

[quote name='Anomaly' date='20 April 2010 - 01:32 PM' timestamp='1271781134' post='2096822']
Sexual attaction and emotional relationships are two different things, though intertwinned.
Having sexual urges towards the same sex does NOT neccessarily mean you are strictly homosexual.
From what you describe above, I would say that you are well within normal range of having sexual desires and drive, however,
it is apparent that you find a sexual relationship with the same sex as being less demanding and difficult on a emotional/relationship level.
You've had 'crushes' on females, but you probably find it very difficult and scary to become emotionally vulnerable to them. That is the natural emotional reaction/attraction but more difficult.
However, if you remove the emotional attraction and strip it to more fundamental sexual attraction, you find it easier to have a superficial relationship with males and statisfy your desire and urges for physical intimacy.
I recommend a thearapist to work on your deep distrust of making yourself vulnerable to women and you will find you physical urges will fall in-line with your emotional urges.
I would define you as well within the normal range with some issues like most people. You probably over-think some of your fears but are more introspective and willing to understand yourself than the average. I think a counselor or thearpist would probably work great for you and help you become happier than the average.
[/quote]

a man and a woman for life is the best (especially if there are offspring's) sexuality. or in others words 1 + 1 = 1

Edited April 20, 2010 by apparently

[infinitelord1]

[quote name='Anomaly' date='20 April 2010 - 11:32 AM' timestamp='1271781134' post='2096822']
Sexual attaction and emotional relationships are two different things, though intertwinned.
Having sexual urges towards the same sex does NOT neccessarily mean you are strictly homosexual.
From what you describe above, I would say that you are well within normal range of having sexual desires and drive, however,
it is apparent that you find a sexual relationship with the same sex as being less demanding and difficult on a emotional/relationship level.
You've had 'crushes' on females, but you probably find it very difficult and scary to become emotionally vulnerable to them. That is the natural emotional reaction/attraction but more difficult.
However, if you remove the emotional attraction and strip it to more fundamental sexual attraction, you find it easier to have a superficial relationship with males and statisfy your desire and urges for physical intimacy.
I recommend a thearapist to work on your deep distrust of making yourself vulnerable to women and you will find you physical urges will fall in-line with your emotional urges.
I would define you as well within the normal range with some issues like most people. You probably over-think some of your fears but are more introspective and willing to understand yourself than the average. I think a counselor or thearpist would probably work great for you and help you become happier than the average.
[/quote]

wow...that was very deep what you wrote there. i honestly dont know how to respond other that i agree with you. i have been working with a therapist for some time now...and have noticed more shifts in my attractions towards females since doing so. i have also been involved with a church who offers a program known as "living waters". it focuses more on the spiritual aspects of healing in this area. it is good to see that someone supports the idea of overcoming homosexual urges.

[Anomaly]

[quote name='infinitelord1' date='20 April 2010 - 01:44 PM' timestamp='1271781880' post='2096825']
wow...that was very deep what you wrote there. i honestly dont know how to respond other that i agree with you. i have been working with a therapist for some time now...and have noticed more shifts in my attractions towards females since doing so. i have also been involved with a church who offers a program known as "living waters". it focuses more on the spiritual aspects of healing in this area. it is good to see that someone supports the idea of overcoming homosexual urges.
[/quote]All people want to be happy and most people find life happier sharing it with each other. Sexual attraction is great, but it isn't as deep as the emotional bonds one develops sharing their must vulnerable selves. Otherwise us fat, old, stupid and/or ugly people would all be single and evolution would have wiped us out long ago. Sexual attraction is incredibly powerful, but it doesn't have the stamina to last a lifetime without emotional/psychological bonds of a real relationship. It's easy to seperate deep emotion from sex, but not from a long term relationship. Would you rather spend a month on a deserted island with someone who's hot and willing having sex whenever, or spend a month with someone you can converse with and share the 5 cases of Pinot that survived the wreck? (The question doesn't apply if it's for just a day )

Just a thought. Homosexual does not mean Homoemotional.

Edited April 20, 2010 by Anomaly

[CatherineM]

[quote name='infinitelord1' date='20 April 2010 - 10:15 AM' timestamp='1271776516' post='2096774']
so are you suggesting that someone who has sexual urges towards the same sex is homosexual? even though they may have had some of the most amazing sexual feelings and romantic feelings for the opposite sex at certain points in their life? are people supposed to forget those feelings and assume a homosexual identity?
[/quote]
Um, no, exactly the opposite. I think that kids will have feelings they don't understand, and have no control over. There's a difference between a feeling that is normal, and one that is set in concrete for the rest of their lives that they should encourage. We, as in society, need to let them know that those feelings will pass. Instead as a society we tell them that those feelings should be celebrated. We should be celebrating and encouraging heterosexual behavior, and discouraging the other. I truly believe that a good hunk of society is towards the middle of the bell curve, and they can be trained by society and the mass media and by habit to be on one side or the other. We used to encourage solid gender identities, and heterosexual marriages and families, and we don't anymore. Confused teenagers used to be able to go on to normal lives and put inappropriate behaviors behind them. Today they can stay in the confusion.

[cmotherofpirl]

[quote name='CatherineM' date='20 April 2010 - 12:01 PM' timestamp='1271775672' post='2096766']
I think human sexuality is on a bell curve. Very few of us are at the poles. Everyone has those occasional things where we might be attracted to someone we shouldn't be, especially during our teen years when our hormones are in flux. The problem comes when we think those rare instances have branded us.
[/quote]
As a young teenager back in the day, we did everything with our very best friend of the same sex - spent every waking moment together etc - would take a bullet for each other etc - we were inseperable. But sooner or later as we got older we did start to seperate out and notice there was another member of the species out there. This was considered perfectly normal behavior back then. Nowadays this perfectly normal behavior is immmediately defined as same sex attraction, which it is not, and people are labelled by themselves and others.
Another difference today is kids are drowned in sexual messages 24/7, and the culture is pushing sexuality and particularly homosexuality in your face from day one. We never has that.For a guy - if you like the wrong kind of band, if you like fashion, if you like art etc you [i]must[/i] be gay. If you are a girl its the reverse, and nobody EVER mentions the developmental process of bonding that takes place as you grow up that you will grow out of as you get older. The continued rigidity of implied sex roles is astounding in this day and age.
Finally we are programed as human beings to be attracted to others and to love, and most of us fall in and out of love many times over our lifetimes. However this attraction DOESN"T imply we have to act on this attraction. It can be the wrong time, the wrong sex, you may already be in a relationship etc. Attraction doesn't equal action.

[Nihil Obstat]

You know, (and this isn't strictly relevant to the discussion) I think a long of younger people have a tendency to mistake strong (filial) friendship for SSA. That thought just occurred to me recently. It seems logical to me. Like Catherine and Cmom were saying, a young kid will be forming these strong bonds of friendship, as they should. That's both natural and good. It just so happens that at the same time they've got crazy hormones going on, and they may mistake what this strengthening friendship is, and think "holy croutons, I must be gay", and that's that.
I wouldn't hypothesize that this happens with all people who identify as homosexual, but I'm willing to bet it does happen.