The Mystery Of Vocation

[melporcristo]

+JMJT+

How do/did you discern whether or not to tell someone about your vocation?

Do/did you tell your co-workers at work or your extended family? Or do/did you choose to keep it quiet?

[Miss Hepburn]

[quote name='melporcristo' date='11 April 2010 - 11:52 PM' timestamp='1271047954' post='2091400']
+JMJT+

How do/did you discern whether or not to tell someone about your vocation?

Do/did you tell your co-workers at work or your extended family? Or do/did you choose to keep it quiet?
[/quote]
As in everything always - you go within and ask God.
Fine tune yourself so you can hear His guidance.

Whether where have you left your keys... to your question above.
Ahh, how simple He has made our life...

[laetitia crucis]

I've always tended to be a "shout it from the rooftops" kinda person. I mean, not that it's the first thing I say when meeting a stranger or something -- but it's definitely something I've always been very open about with my friends, family, and anyone that has specifically asked me about it.

However, I have heard it recommended by some that perhaps it is more prudent to keep it to oneself (or to tell only one person and bind them to secrecy) since there could be a potential danger of "interference" or the added temptations or obstacles put against pursuing one's vocation. Especially if you don't have a good support base and/or you're still "on the fence" in actively discerning a religious vocation, you know?

I think in a sense I have been very fortunate with the Catholic friends God has placed in my life. I entered the Church in university and also found the closest friends I've ever had there. Our friendships had developed from our love and interest in the Catholic faith, so it always seemed a very natural thing for us to talk about our vocations and discernment. I was the first one to "come out of the Vocation Closet". Soon after, another friend had discerned a vocation to the Jesuits, another to the Capuchins, and another to the Sisters of Life, all in the span of a few years. Two of that group of friends are (God willing) soon to be engaged to each other. It's amazing, really. I thank God for that blessing of giving me such a wonderfully faithful and supporting circle of friends.

[Starets]

I did not tell my coworkers where I was going. I said that I was going to do some long term volunteer work with an american religious charity. My friends knew the truth. My relatived did not know until after I joined.

[elizabeth09]

When I was 18, I started to think that I might become a sister. I told my brothers, sisters and my parents. No one in my extended family knows it yet. I may not even tell any of my extended family until I join.

[IgnatiusofLoyola]

[quote name='Staretz' date='12 April 2010 - 01:41 PM' timestamp='1271097669' post='2091635']
I did not tell my coworkers where I was going. I said that I was going to do some long term volunteer work with an american religious charity. My friends knew the truth. My relatived did not know until after I joined.
[/quote]

I think it is very different to tell co-workers than it is to tell close friends and family. Co-workers (unless you work for a Catholic organization) may very easily misunderstand what a Catholic vocation means, and think you are going to a medieval jail where you will be buried in the walls if you try to leave.

My last couple of words bring up another reason why it might not be wise to spread the word "far and wide" that you are about to enter religious life. As we know from several people on this forum, many women (and men) begin the religious life, and either find that they are not really called to it at all, or that they belong in a different community. We have several very happily married mothers on this phorum who discerned with a religious community for a time, and found it very hard and sometimes extremely painful to leave. But, their time in the religious life made them realize that God was perhaps calling them in another direction that is just as blessed and holy. They might not have realized that the religous life was not their ultimate "vocation" if they had not tried, so the experience was not wasted.

Since leaving religious life can be so difficult, it is hard enough to deal with your own feelings and those of your family, much less try to explain it to former coworkers who might not understand at all--or think you "finally came to your senses." So personally, I'd limit who I'd tell to very close friends and family. Over time, as your vocation becomes more "solid" and you progress to final vows, coworkers might find out or you might tell some of them who you expect would undersand, and they will probably wish you the best because they see your happiness and contentment in the new life you have chosen.

[brightsadness]

My parents and I just told the rest of the family over Easter that I am discerning a monastic vocation. Only a few other close friends know. I have no sense that anyone else needs to know.

[aalpha1989]

Most spiritual fathers advise that a vocation should be kept in the secret of your heart.

[melporcristo]

+JMJT+

I've been kind of up and down from the rooftops per say.

There have been various circumstances that have left me kind of speechless to what to say For example, the other day at work, I bumped into a girl I grew up with. While I was at University, my mom had told her that I wanted to become a nun, so when I saw her, she looked like she saw a ghost. She asked me, "How can you do both things, work here AND be a nun?" I told her plainly (and I admit, kind of uncharitably), "Nope, I'm not a nun!" And she asked, "So are you going to be a nun?" and I told her, "We'll see! But I'm not a nun right now!" It just felt like one of those awkward moments that I should have embraced as a chance to share something insightful but I didn't.

It seems like society wants everything instant. Like one minute you're in the world and the next, you're not.

[Sarah147]

[quote name='aalpha1989' date='12 April 2010 - 06:00 PM' timestamp='1271106054' post='2091820']
Most spiritual fathers advise that a vocation should be kept in the secret of your heart.
[/quote]


I did just that.

When the timing was right and God led someone into my life to direct my vocation, I revealed it. Later on it came out only to those and when it had to based on the circumtances, but not in depth. In the start, I knew that most of those in my life would pose a problem to my discernment, which I could tell based on how they were toward my desire to just grow in my personal relationship with God, so I was silent with them about it. In the start, I also needed to discover and reflect on the whole desire going on within me, and learn if this was a calling. There was a lot of fear about what others might do against my even trying out at orders, so I was ready to be silent and do whatever it took to avoid pressures from others and quietly discern on my own. Now a long time later, there are those pressuring me to do other things, so it has been so important in my life to have spiritual friends in support of the calling, and very important to be solid in my convictions and relationship with God.

Edited July 29, 2010 by JoyfulLife

[Bennn]

[quote name='JoyfulLife' date='29 July 2010 - 04:15 AM' timestamp='1280369702' post='2149351']
I did just that.

When the timing was right and God led someone into my life to direct my vocation, I revealed it. Later on it came out only to those and when it had to based on the circumtances, but not in depth. In the start, I knew that most of those in my life would pose a problem to my discernment, which I could tell based on how they were toward my desire to just grow in my personal relationship with God, so I was silent with them about it. In the start, I also needed to discover and reflect on the whole desire going on within me, and learn if this was a calling. There was a lot of fear about what others might do against my even trying out at orders, so I was ready to be silent and do whatever it took to avoid pressures from others and quietly discern on my own. Now a long time later, there are those pressuring me to do other things, so it has been so important in my life to have spiritual friends in support of the calling, and very important to be solid in my convictions and relationship with God.
[/quote]

I think it's important to have those spiritual friends who encourage you to further discern. It's also a great blessing when your parents are open to it. Mine have known my discernment for a long time and they have always been very supportive to me. I admire them for allowing God to do His work in me instead of forcing their own desires upon me. I thank God for them.