Godparents By Proxy

[Cherie]

I would like to ask someone to be one of the godparents for our child when he/she is born in October. However, she lives very far away, works for the Church and has many obligations, so she may not be able to make it.

I've always heard of "godparents by proxy" but when I did some research on it, I see there's division as to whether or not it's ACTUALLY allowed, since Canon Law makes no mention of it.

I decided to bring it to my Phamily ... do any of you know anything about godparents by proxy, and what is allowed? Is it preferable just to pick someone else if they themselves can't be present?

[zunshynn]

You might post in the Q&A... the people that would most likely know the answer are more likely to see it there.

My godparent situation was kind of unusual... my godfather was my uncle, but his wife was Episcopalian, so my godmother was a woman that I guess went to the church where I was baptized, but we have never kept in touch. So I literally know nothing about my godmother... I actually can't even recall her name. Personally I would think it would be better to have a godmother that wouldn't actually be able to be at the baptism but would still be involved in the child's life than someone that could be there physically but is not close enough to the family to stay involved. It seems to me that's the whole point. But ideally, of course, you would want both... and I really don't know about what is actually allowed or not.

When I was confirmed my grandmother was my sponsor, because my godfather is no longer a practicing Catholic and I haven't had any contact with my godmother. But the day of my confirmation my grandfather had to go to the hospital, so my mom went up with me for the confirmation, if I remember correctly. So I guess that was a confirmation by proxy... All of the paperwork says my grandmother was my sponsor, but she wasn't there.

[LouisvilleFan]

Friend of mine flew to Seattle to be present for his godson's Baptism while a proxy stood in for his wife. I expect at least one of the two needs to be present. Of course, it's not like the Baptism is invalid if neither godparent is there If you were temporarily stationed in Qatar and wanted your child baptized, but the godparents you want to be there as your child grows older live in the US, I'd argue it makes more sense to have two proxies than to choose godparents based on who is physically available at the moment.

[Luigi]

I don't know what canon law has to say about it, but I know it has been done very commonly for a long time. I had proxy godparents myself, although I don't remember the event.

I also know a family of eight children, all of whom had proxy godparents - relatives back in the hometown, whereas the parents & kids had moved for the father's job. That was back in the 1950s.

I'm sure you can do it, and I don't think either godparent has to be physically present. I would guess, however, that the baptizing priest has to get some sort of statement that "even though I can't be there personlly, I am willing to carry out the duties of a godparent, and I give permission for X to speak on my behalf." So I guess it adds a wrinkle of complication to the process, but nothing insurmountable.

[Nihil Obstat]

Well I know for sure that proxy confirmation sponsors are no big deal. I read the rules about that (and almost had to be a proxy) although I've forgotten the finer points now. I imagine that for baptism it's largely the same thing.

[cruciatacara]

My friend had a godmother who not only wasn't a catholic but she didn't really believe in god either but the priest didn't seem to care, as long as there was someone present to be the role. And there was no godfather at all. I think some priests don't really pay attention to these things as much as they should.

[Cherie]

[quote name='cruciatacara' date='06 April 2010 - 09:13 PM' timestamp='1270602828' post='2088071']
My friend had a godmother who not only wasn't a catholic but she didn't really believe in god either but the priest didn't seem to care, as long as there was someone present to be the role. And there was no godfather at all. I think some priests don't really pay attention to these things as much as they should.
[/quote]

That's a shame she wasn't Catholic, because I know that's a prerequisite ... not only that, but they have to be a Catholic "in good standing."

Also I do know that only one godparent is necessary, although two seems to be the custom. So it's ok if someone only has one godparent.

[Thy Geekdom Come]

I've had to get proxies for godparents for both my kids. Yes, it's allowed.

[Archaeology cat]

[quote name='CherieMadame' date='08 April 2010 - 02:54 PM' timestamp='1270734848' post='2089172']
Also I do know that only one godparent is necessary, although two seems to be the custom. So it's ok if someone only has one godparent.
[/quote]
Our daughter will only have a godmother.