I Have A Boyfriend

[Winchester]

[quote name='fidei defensor' date='25 March 2010 - 01:32 AM' timestamp='1269495126' post='2079616']
No, just sharing the news. I enjoy sharing things with you all.
[/quote]
Yeah, we're stupid. It has nothing to do with your penchant for outrage.

[Fidei Defensor]

[quote name='cmotherofpirl' date='25 March 2010 - 09:31 AM' timestamp='1269531073' post='2079728']
Why?
[/quote]
Because last I checked, happiness is a good thing (and also, warm gun.)

[IgnatiusofLoyola]

[quote name='fidei defensor' date='24 March 2010 - 10:21 PM' timestamp='1269487306' post='2079531']
And he is beautiful and perfect [img]http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/public/style_emoticons/default/smile.gif[/img]
[/quote]

Two things that make me uncomfortable. (Well, there are more than two, but I'm only going to mention two.)

1. It worries me that you feel your boyfriend is "perfect." No human being (except Jesus) is perfect. Sooner or later, you will be disappointed if you think he is perfect.

2. Why post it here? This phorum is set up for a specific purpose and supports a specific set of beliefs. This is their "turf." Posters who don't necessarily share all their beliefs, or want to learn about their beliefs are made very welcome, as I have been, as long as we remember where we are posting and respect the beliefs of the phorum. I learned from working in South Central LA (VERY poor with lots of gangs) that I, as a White person, was made welcome there, as long as I respected that it was their "turf," not mine.

Why make a post that shows disrespect for the beliefs of this phorum, unless your purpose is to "needle" people? You know they aren't going to agree with you, or feel able to support your decision, and you know you aren't going to change their minds--especially with a somewhat "snarky" post rather than a thoughtful and explanatory post. The members of this phorum are perfectly aware that homosexualiity exists, but don't support acting on those desires. There are lots of places to post on the Internet, including non-Christian forums, if that is your choice, where you will be supported.

You don't know me, because I'm new, but my ex-husband ended our marriage because he decided to lead a homosexual lifestyle. I use the word "decided" because I believe that for most, perhaps all, homosexuals, it is "how they are made." The "decision" is what a person chooses to do about those feelings. I have very mixed and confused feelings about homosexuality, because I dearly loved my ex-husband, and still love him. Because of that love, I wish him happiness. But, my own feelings and beliefs conflict with his. I have had to deal with with my conflicting feelings by cutting off most relations with my ex-husband, except for each of us knowing where the other is living. I have chosen to deal with the conflicting feelings by loving my ex-husband from afar, without being involved in his current life.

By the way, this post is not intended to start a debate about homosexuality. I refuse to participate. I have more imporant issues to deal with in my life. I respect that homosexuality is is a very important issue for you, but it is not the most important issue for me.

Edited March 25, 2010 by IgnatiusofLoyola

[Hilde]

Believe it or not, morality has a goal of happiness. And this makes people who believe this to be immoral sad looking at a larger perspective. I don't think people here are strangers to feeling conflicted between instant gratification + what they believe to make them happy right here and now and acting morally and virtuous. We all have our vices. It makes me sad that you have chosen this lifestyle, and people protesting it =/= them not wanting you to be happy.

[kamiller42]

[quote name='fidei defensor' date='25 March 2010 - 12:14 AM' timestamp='1269490481' post='2079570']
You should be happy that I'm happy.
[/quote]
Lots of things can make people happy. Doesn't make it right or a good thing.

Aim your needs at a better answer. I'm sure there is a lady out there who would love you equally or better.

Edited March 25, 2010 by kamiller42

[IgnatiusofLoyola]

[quote name='kamiller42' date='25 March 2010 - 12:07 PM' timestamp='1269536840' post='2079767']
Aim your needs at a better answer. I'm sure there is a lady out there who would love you equally or better.
[/quote]

As someone who was married for many years to a man who was trying desperately to deny his sexual preference, I respectfully disagree with that alternative. It MAY work for some people. But, if your sexual attraction is really to men, please don't break a woman's heart (as well as her self-esteem as a woman), by trying to be be physically attracted to her when you are not.

I AM NOT saying I support that you have a boyfriend. Just that, at least in my case, the idea that a loving wife can "cure" a homosexual was a "myth"--even though I believe that my ex really wanted to be heterosexual. If you can find a woman willing for both of you to live a celibate life, okay. But, in my case, the fact that my ex-husband wasn't really sexually attracted to me, hurt my self-image far more than I realized at the time, not to mention the heartbreak when he finally decided to give up and end our marriage. (BTW--My ex-husband was/is Catholic, even though I am not, and we were married in the Catholic church.)

I am not going to debate the other alternatives. I'm not qualified to do so.

Edited March 25, 2010 by IgnatiusofLoyola

[kamiller42]

[quote name='IgnatiusofLoyola' date='25 March 2010 - 01:10 PM' timestamp='1269537016' post='2079770']
As someone who was married for many years to a man who was trying desperately to deny his sexual preference, I respectfully disagree with that alternative. It MAY work for some people. But, if your sexual attraction is really to men, please don't break a woman's heart (as well as her self-esteem as a woman), by trying to be be physically attracted to her when you are not.

I AM NOT saying I support that you have a boyfriend. Just that, at least in my case, the idea that a loving wife can "cure" a homosexual was a "myth"--even though I believe that my ex really wanted to be heterosexual. If you can find a woman willing for both of you to live a celibate life, okay. But, in my case, the fact that my ex-husband wasn't really sexually attracted to me, hurt my self-image far more than I realized at the time, not to mention the heartbreak when he finally decided to give up and end our marriage. (BTW--My ex-husband was/is Catholic, even though I am not, and we were married in the Catholic church.)

I am not going to debate the other alternatives. I'm not qualified to do so.
[/quote]
I was not saying it would cure him of anything. They could enjoy each other's company.

In regards to would an affectionate relationship with a woman to convert a homosexual, I think that would be a YMMV situation. There have been many who have turned from their homosexual lifestyle and are very happy. Yes; it does happen. A person seeking this route could benefit from seeking the help of organizations that deal with this and have shown success. At a minimum, choose a celibate life.

[Apotheoun]

[quote name='IgnatiusofLoyola' date='25 March 2010 - 11:10 AM' timestamp='1269537016' post='2079770']
I AM NOT saying I support that you have a boyfriend. Just that, at least in my case, the idea that a loving wife can "cure" a homosexual was a "myth"--even though I believe that my ex really wanted to be heterosexual.
[/quote]
Grace and the proper exercise of free will are the only things that can "cure" a person of disordered passions (whatever they may be). Salvation is a synergistic process that restores the human person to the likeness of God through the practice of virtue.

Edited March 25, 2010 by Apotheoun

[CatherineM]

Eating lots of icecream makes me happy. It won't lead to a long and healthy life though.

[Saint Therese]

Unfortunately I think this thread is pointless.

[Apotheoun]

[quote name='Saint Therese' date='25 March 2010 - 12:09 PM' timestamp='1269540583' post='2079804']
Unfortunately I think this thread is pointless.
[/quote]
I agree. The thread speaks about something that is immoral bringing happiness. It has no place at a Catholic forum.

[Saint Therese]

[quote name='Apotheoun' date='25 March 2010 - 02:13 PM' timestamp='1269540811' post='2079809']
I agree. The thread speaks about something that is immoral bringing happiness. It has no place at a Catholic forum.
[/quote]

Indeed. I think the original poster is way beyond being able to listen to charitable remonstrances and having his conscience stirred-I think he only posted in this phorum to cause outrage and flaunt his new lifestyle. Imho the only thing we can do now is pray.

[Apotheoun]

[quote name='Saint Therese' date='25 March 2010 - 12:18 PM' timestamp='1269541087' post='2079815']
Indeed. I think the original poster is way beyond being able to listen to charitable remonstrances and having his conscience stirred-I think he only posted in this phorum to cause outrage and flaunt his new lifestyle. Imho the only thing we can do now is pray.
[/quote]
Yes, prayer for his salvation is the proper response.

[Lilllabettt]

FD, you seem happy.

But I don't understand why.

You're an atheist.

That means that you believe any love you experience will ultimately be destroyed.

I don't understand why you even desire to form deep bonds with another person .. since it can only open the gates to sharper experiences of pain, suffering and tragedy .. all of it meaningless, according to you.

If you do not break up (tragedy) then one or both of you will die (tragedy).

Either way, any love you experience is a weak, temporal thing, no hardier than our flimsy human bodies.

Why pursue something that will ultimately be taken from you?

Are the brief moments of "happiness" worth the permanent separation and excruciating agony you are guaranteed to undergo?

Can you even be "happy" with another person, all the while knowing that you are 100% for sure going to experience the total, irredemable loss of that person forever?

Or do you just try hard not think about it?

[dominicansoul]

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