For The Repose Of The Soul Of Arlene

[CatherineM]

I just found out today that my former roommate died in November. She lived with me for 15 years. She had rapid cycling manic depression that didn't respond to medication. It was complicated by alcoholism and prescription pain medication addiction. I originally gave her a place to stay at the request of a friend from church. When I realized that she had two very young sons who were going to end up in foster care, I decided to commit to taking care of them all long term. When both boys were out of the house, I chose to move on with my life. She went downhill really quickly. She moved back to live close to her family in Arkansas, but they were mostly ashamed of her so she ended up in government housing. She got kicked out of there when she began digging up the complex's flowerbeds looking for diamonds and dinosaur bones. She ended up living with a strange woman who wouldn't tell her what her name was. I had helped her with her medicine and doctor's appointments, and made sure she was hospitalized when necessary for years, and I guess she didn't have anyone there who cared enough about her to risk her wrath by calling for help when she needed it.

I talked to her last about 6 weeks before she died, and I was greatly concerned about her condition, but I had no one to call. Her family didn't want to hear about it. She wasn't interested in my help, she just wanted money. I couldn't in good conscience send her money knowing what she would probably do with it. I had honored her request to have no contact with her boys as much as that pained me. I had never wanted to come between the boys and their mom. The oldest boy made contact with me yesterday, and told me about his mom's passing. Now I'm dealing with her loss, and feeling guilty that I wasn't there to help her. I'm also feeling guilty at the fact that her loss has made it possible for me to have a relationship with the boys. The youngest boy lives with his dad and stepmom, so he's doing okay, but the older boy doesn't have anyone really. I hope that I can provide him with the support he needs. He's the age I was when my father died, and I remember how hard that was.

Prayers for Arlene. I hope she has finally found the peace that was elusive to her in life, and for her sons, John and Stephen who will face the rest of their lives without their mom.