If You Could Design A Habit...

[GraceUk]

[quote name='DameAgnes' date='14 May 2010 - 12:00 AM' timestamp='1273809638' post='2110372']
Re the pink scapular and veil, perhaps it was this woman?

http://forums.catholic.com/showthread.php?p=5514764

(from the link) "In my area, we have a nun whom we affectionately call "The Pink Lady", who with permission has founded her own order. (As yet the order consists only of her and a novice.) She designed her own habit, with a pink veil and scapular, a belt, and the rest of the habit is white."
[/quote]

Thanks for the detective work. I'm sure that must be the same Sisters who are in the photo. It would explain why one is wearing pink veil and one a white if one sister is a novice. I wonder what their order is called. I hope they get more vocations. They look great. Isn't it strange what you can tell from a photograph. Well I think so anyway!!

[laetitia crucis]

[quote name='Michele' date='14 May 2010 - 02:28 AM' timestamp='1273818484' post='2110477']
the funny thing is, the habit design issue actually is a stumbling block in my discernment wonderings. other than the factors of compatability with renunciations, distance, charism, asceticism, apostolate, friends in the order, etc... my vanity finds something disagreeable about some-thing in every habit i've seen - too short, too witchy, too high of a veil, where's the rosary go, why do the discalced wear close-toed shoes, yadda yadda. i can't decide which style that's already out there is the one i'd fit into and not get tired of wearing every day. so designing my own has crossed my mind, but i doubt it'd fly with the superiors. i don't have the energy to start a reform of the reform of the reform, hehe. i guess it's like picking a wedding dress. just find the one that's the most suitable for you.
[/quote]

Hi Michele!

I suppose the only "words of advice" I can offer in this regards is to try [i]not [/i]having the habit design issue be a stumbling block. Like the old saying goes, "Don't judge a book by it's cover." -- Don't let your discernment be only "skin/habit deep".

The thing is, I know it can be great fun looking at various habits and picturing oneself in them (I plead guilty); however, we must also remember that... the habit isn't the "be all, end all" of one's vocation. It's an [i]exterior [/i]"sign" and witness of one's [i]interior [/i]consecration -- the setting apart of oneself specifically for the Sacred, for God.

[quote name='Vita Consecrata']
The Church must always seek to make her presence visible in everyday life, especially in contemporary culture, which is often very secularized and yet sensitive to the language of signs. In this regard the Church has a right to expect a significant contribution from consecrated persons, called as they are in every situation to bear clear witness that they belong to Christ.

Since the habit is a sign of consecration, poverty and membership in a particular Religious family, I join the Fathers of the Synod in strongly recommending to men and women religious that they wear their proper habit, suitably adapted to the conditions of time and place.[/quote]

Granted, I know even for myself, I am guilty in pondering over the "little things" (yes, quite surface-level -- like the fact that I'd rather wear sandals over "practical socks and shoes" ANY day, or the preference for long-at-least-waist-length, single-pointed veils, etc.) about various habits. However, at least from personal experience, I can say that habits can "grow on you". There are some habits I've seen, that might fit my superficial "requirements"; yet, my initial reaction was, "Uh... nothankyou." This would happen when I would [i]only [/i]allow myself to see superficially... for once I really got to know the Sisters I could truly look past the habit -- so much so that I wouldn't even notice it. I saw "Sister Mary So-and-So" INSTEAD of "Sister-who-wears-the-unappealing-habit", if that makes sense.

Anyhoo -- I hope this post didn't come across as some kind of "lecture". This was not my intention.

To leave on some sort of positive note, I wanted to add that I have heard from a few Sisters speaking about their discernment that just seeing certain habits (or even parts of habits) they knew they weren't called there.

For example, one Sister just [i]knew[/i] she couldn't wear a certain pair of shoes for the rest of her life. Another [i]knew[/i] she just couldn't wear black the rest of her life -- like another PMer has said, black would just make this Sister too depressed. The Sister that had the little quibble about the shoes was told by that Order/Community's vocation director, "You know, maybe God is just using that as a very simple way of telling you you're not called to this Order/Community." (And she did so in a very charitable way!)

So I suppose I chalk this up to, "Grace builds on nature". God knows where we are and who we are. He knows everything about us, and He knows what it will take to get us to heaven (or out of Hell). I suppose God knows I couldn't wear pantyhose every day for the rest of my earthly life either. I'd be tempted to kill myself.

[laetitia crucis]

P.S. -- Michele, I also wanted to add that I'm sure you're not alone in these habit musings. I think many of us can easily get caught up in the beauty (or lack of) found in religious habits. Because like you said, it is kind of like picking out one's wedding dress -- a wedding dress we'll wear (God willing) every single day for the rest of our lives. However, it is good to remember that we're marrying the Eternal Bridegroom, not the dress.

[Cherie]

[quote name='laetitia crucis' date='13 May 2010 - 06:09 PM' timestamp='1273788594' post='2110136']
Oooooh! That makes sense! I guess I had never thought about it that way. I think it might make for faster ironing, too!

The Sisters of Life and Dominican Sisters of Mary Mother of the Eucharist also have the same creases -- which also makes sense, as both communities were formed by former Nashville Dominicans. The Dominican Sisters of St. Joseph in England have the creases as well.

Hmmm... but then again, I wonder if the Hawthorne Dominicans also do the crease thing?
[/quote]

The Sister Servants of the Eternal Word have a similar-type habit (The Superior, Mother Mary Gabriel, is a former Nashville Dominican and also blood-sister of Mother Assumpta, foundress of the Ann Arbor Dominicans) -- but she specifically excluded the creases, because the look is distracting from the habit as a whole, and there is no real reason behind it (besides ease of ironing, I suppose). I remember the Ann Arbor Dominicans coming to visit once, and this topic came up. They lamented the fact that they have creases ... since it looks "strange".

[laetitia crucis]

[quote name='CherieMadame' date='14 May 2010 - 11:41 AM' timestamp='1273851710' post='2110584']
The Sister Servants of the Eternal Word have a similar-type habit (The Superior, Mother Mary Gabriel, is a former Nashville Dominican and also blood-sister of Mother Assumpta, foundress of the Ann Arbor Dominicans) -- but she specifically excluded the creases, because the look is distracting from the habit as a whole, and there is no real reason behind it (besides ease of ironing, I suppose). I remember the Ann Arbor Dominicans coming to visit once, and this topic came up. They lamented the fact that they have creases ... since it looks "strange".
[/quote]

I lament that same "strangeness". Whenever I see Dominicans (or other Dominican-like habits), the creases always jump out at me.

I always think, "Oh man, I would LOOOOOOOVE to get my hands on those scapulars and iron out those creases!!" (I always found them oddly distracting. Hahaha! )

[DameAgnes]

The creases neither distract me or engage me. I think they show up better in a white scapular than a brown, though.

I think since the SSEW's wear the brown for Francis, it's appropriate that they don't iron in the creases. Francis was never so fussy!

[Cherie]

[quote name='DameAgnes' date='14 May 2010 - 02:34 PM' timestamp='1273862058' post='2110636']
I think since the SSEW's wear the brown for Francis, it's appropriate that they don't iron in the creases. Francis was never so fussy!
[/quote]

Part of why, as hard as I try for other spiritualities, I'm definitely a Franciscan at heart!!! I think that statement gives a lot of insight into Mother Gabriel's own thinking, too, and why God called her to unite the charism of Dominicans and Franciscans!

[IgnatiusofLoyola]

[quote name='laetitia crucis' date='14 May 2010 - 10:58 AM' timestamp='1273852706' post='2110590']
I lament that same "strangeness". [img]http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/public/style_emoticons/default/lol.gif[/img] Whenever I see Dominicans (or other Dominican-like habits), the creases always jump out at me. [img]http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/public/style_emoticons/default/sweat.gif[/img]

I always think, "Oh man, I would LOOOOOOOVE to get my hands on those scapulars and iron out those creases!!" (I always found them oddly distracting. Hahaha! [img]http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/public/style_emoticons/default/wacko.gif[/img] )
[/quote]

Strangely, I never even noticed the "creases." I had to go look at the Nashville Dominican's Web site to see what all of you were talking about. They don't bother me at all.

In fact, the "big" creases would probably keep people from noticing that my habit had lots of other "spontaneous" creases, not to mention stains, marks--you name it. I love their white habit, but I think I'd have to pick a community with a darker blue habit. How's that for spirtuality--picking an order based on the color of their habit and the degree to which it shows stains!

It's a good thing I'm not in discernment.......

[Tridenteen]

JMJ
Or are you?

[IgnatiusofLoyola]

[quote name='Tridenteen' date='14 May 2010 - 09:51 PM' timestamp='1273891886' post='2110946']
JMJ
Or are you?
[/quote]

LOL. I could be except that (in no particular order):

--I'm too old for virtually all Orders.
--I have a chronic illness--right now I can't do much, including standing for any length of time.
--I have a sleep disorder that means I need 9-10 hours of sleep a night, plus probably a nap.
--I've made a "vow" to take care of my two chronically ill cats, and they would be very hard to place in a new home.
--I'm not Catholic (although there are Anglican Orders).
--My marriage has not been annulled. Under the circumstances, an annullment would be very likely to be granted, but it would take time.
--And, maybe most important, I don't think I could ever take a vow of obedience (just being realistic).

But, I have been fascinated by nuns since I was small. I didn't know any personally, but I read about them in books. Plus, the Catholic kids in my neighborhood liked to tell "mean nun stories" to the kids in public school.

Edited May 15, 2010 by IgnatiusofLoyola

[cmaD2006]

Well, if I *really* could design *any* habit ...

jeans (dark blue, not the ones that look like they're glued on but more baggy) and a t-shirt (more like a polo-shirt), with some sort of veil. Probably black (so that it wouldn't get as soiled). Why the veil, well it makes bad hair days go away.

[AccountDeleted]

For me, wearing the Carmelite habit felt like being embraced. Taking it off was the hardest thing I ever had to do, and even now I wonder what possessed me to do so, but nevermind, God will take care of things.

As for jeans being a habit, I personally adore jeans and they are my everyday "uniform" when I am not working in an office or attending Mass, but there is just something so special about wearing a nearly floor length habit, a scapular and a choir mantle along with that veil that hides the bad hair days! Maybe its the romantic in me but I just love the look of a long habit. I do wish the Carmelites had veils more like the Poor Clares or the Dominicans (longer) but that's just one of those things that one has to accept as part of their whole habit.

And I do agree that one's reaction to a habit can sometimes be a guide as to which community one should enter because one nun told me that when she was contemplating religious life, she came across a picture of St Therese and the minute she saw her habit she said that she knew she was meant to wear it!

The religious habit is not just something that one wears for the rest of their life either, it is also the shroud in which a sister is buried. It is so special and I like the analogy of the wedding dress, but one that is worn forever.

[Cherie]

[quote name='cmariadiaz' date='15 May 2010 - 01:15 AM' timestamp='1273900555' post='2111008']
Well, if I *really* could design *any* habit ...

jeans (dark blue, not the ones that look like they're glued on but more baggy) and a t-shirt (more like a polo-shirt), with some sort of veil. Probably black (so that it wouldn't get as soiled). Why the veil, well it makes bad hair days go away.


[/quote]

The community I was with had denim aprons we would use for kitchen work, and sometimes we had to go to the Maintenance Building to get some supplies (it's where all the extra freezers were) ... so many times, the retreatants and visitors would see us in our aprons.

Often people would ask us, "Who are the Sisters without veils? Who are the Sisters with white veils, or dark brown veils?" And inevitably, we'd then get the question, "Who are the Sisters in the blue jeans?"

[IgnatiusofLoyola]

[quote name='cmariadiaz' date='15 May 2010 - 12:15 AM' timestamp='1273900555' post='2111008']
Well, if I *really* could design *any* habit ...

jeans (dark blue, not the ones that look like they're glued on but more baggy) and a t-shirt (more like a polo-shirt), with some sort of veil. Probably black (so that it wouldn't get as soiled). Why the veil, well it makes bad hair days go away.

[img]http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/public/style_emoticons/default/lol_roll.gif[/img] [img]http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/public/style_emoticons/default/D.gif[/img] [img]http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/public/style_emoticons/default/P.gif[/img]
[/quote]

My first thought is only marginally related to your post, and that is that I find it sad that there seems to be a huge divide between habited orders of Sisters/nuns and non-habited orders. The habited orders seem to look on the others as "not true religious" and the non-habited orders tend to look on habited ones as "stuck in the past." The truth of course, is that the situation is far more complex than that. There are non-habited orders that lead lives that are just as true to the Magisterium as habited ones, and there are some habited orders that are not necessarily emotionally healthy and may be straying from Rome.

We do have different standards for men versus women--both of who have dedicated their lives to serving God--and I am no better than anyone else about this. I have no problem with priests or even male religious wearing standard "civilian clothes" in some situations, but sisters/nuns whose only indication that they are in religious life is a small pin or a cross around their neck, seem to me to be less like nuns, even though I know many of them lead very holy lives--possibly holier than many habited sisters/nuns.

So, to your post--I have mixed feelings. Certainly the veil with the jeans would be an outward symbol that you were a religious Sister or nun. But, to me, once you start wearing "civilian clothes" you bring up problems by having a choice of clothes. One is the point at which having a choice of clothes becomes vanity. Not to mention that it is cheaper to wear a habit every day, which speaks to the vow of poverty.

I'll also bring up another problem with jeans that may not have occurred to you. I don't know your age, but I'm going to guess you are under 40. Particularly as you get older (and you WILL get older, we all do), jeans are not necessarily the most flattering or comfortable clothes. Gravity is unkind to women. Even if you manage to stay the same weight (despite the fact that your metabolism slows WAY down), your fat moves downward. So the jeans that fit you at 25 or 30, probably won't fit at 40 even if you are the same weight. Also, jeans aren't flattering to all womens' figures. However, one good thing about jeans is that nowadays, women of all ages wear them. My mother still wears jeans at age 83, and she looks great. However, she weighs about 100 pounds soaking wet, and even she admits the the location of her fat has moved downward.

On the other hand, a habit is flattering and more comfortable for a woman of any age. No tight waistband to remind you that you ate too much at dinner. Even with baggier jeans and tops, various bumps and bulges show, which they don't with a habit. Habits are just as flattering on a woman of 60 as they are on a woman of 20. Plus, I think it would be nice not to have to decide what to wear every day.

I don't know the answer to the "habit" question. Habits do seem to attract young women to the religious life. What I don't know is how these same young women are going to feel about the habit in 20 or 30 years--it will be interesting to see.

And, I don't see preferring to wear jeans as an indication that a person loves God less or is less obedient to the Magisterium. Just are there are different tastes in habits, I could see a very religious woman still not wanting to wear a habit.

I'm rambling, because the whole issue of "the habit" is a very complex one that I have no suggestions of how to address, so I'm going to stop.

Edited May 15, 2010 by IgnatiusofLoyola

[Michele]

[quote name='laetitia crucis' date='14 May 2010 - 07:17 AM' timestamp='1273843060' post='2110531']
I'd be tempted to kill myself.
[/quote]

please don't. people would miss you. God loves you. life is worth living no matter what you have to wear.