Dealing With Someone Who Has Depression

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[quote name='Azriel' date='14 February 2010 - 10:53 AM' timestamp='1266159229' post='2057031']
So much good advice already, I can only second what they say. Cannot stress enough that you need to always remember that she didn't choose this. Prayers for you both.
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Depression thrives in the dark, I think it is a natural tendency to conceal hard feelings and to run away them. This reaction will only feed the fire.

As one who is on the outside looking in, I too feel helpless and alone.


Happiness thrives in the light of day, I think.

[jmjtina]

double post. boo.

Edited February 14, 2010 by jmjtina

[jmjtina]

[quote name='jmjtina' date='14 February 2010 - 04:03 PM' timestamp='1266185012' post='2057230']
spend as much time with her to bring her joy. Let her know that she is wanted. In my experience, really depressed people start cutting off ties with family and friends and then start being suicidal.

Call her often. Tell her about your day and ask about hers. She may tell you she may be depressed, but don't judge her, just hear her out and just let them know you are there and you care. Ask if she needs anything or if there is anything you can do for her. Sometimes, just being there is enough to help them get through it.

Most of all pray for her.
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[dominicansoul]

[quote name='CatherineM' date='13 February 2010 - 09:35 PM' timestamp='1266114933' post='2056814']
[b]The main thing I've learned is you have to be able to separate the person from the illness.[/b]
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this is extremely important. I have learned this the hard way. I deal with my own bouts of depression and emotional breakdowns, but at the same time, I have many people in my life who are important to me and suffer with some type of depression. It isn't easy remembering that when they hurt me and lash out because they are going through the manic phase of their depression, I shouldn't take it personally. But that's hard.

I hope and pray, ora, that you will be successful in "being there" for your sister, and that you won't take things personally if, in her depression, she lashes out at you for some reason or another. We have to remember that we are on the battlefield of life, and when our brothers and sisters are wounded in some way, we have to carry them, even when it hurts...

[thessalonian]

I am not clinically depressed but do have some depression issues. Might I suggest something called 5 HTP that is over the counter and has helped me. It enhances seratonin development in the brain. I was on an antidepressent that did nothing for me and I could tell a difference when I took this. You can get it at any drug store.

[EAnn246]

I agree with everyone.

I'm someone who has dealt with depression for about 10 years. There's also members of my family and other people I love who deal with it. My advice is to love her as she is. Don't treat the depression as the elephant in the room and don't treat her differently because she has depression. She's still the same person-still your sister. (I love what someone said about separating the disease from the person). Be there when she's ready to talk, but don't push it. (I had someone try to push me into talking about it because she thought it would make me feel better... completely backfired).

[thessalonian]

I am reposting this because I hope it will help some of you with what I have dealt with regarding depression. I am not clinically depressed but do have some depression issues. Might I suggest something called 5 HTP that is over the counter and has helped me. It enhances seratonin development in the brain. I was on an antidepressent that did nothing for me and I could tell a difference when I took this. You can get it at any drug store. Try it.

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[quote name='EAnn246' date='14 February 2010 - 10:21 PM' timestamp='1266200510' post='2057334']
I agree with everyone.

I'm someone who has dealt with depression for about 10 years. There's also members of my family and other people I love who deal with it. My advice is to love her as she is. Don't treat the depression as the elephant in the room and don't treat her differently because she has depression. She's still the same person-still your sister. (I love what someone said about separating the disease from the person). Be there when she's ready to talk, but don't push it. (I had someone try to push me into talking about it because she thought it would make me feel better... completely backfired).
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sounds like someone i know and love, all my efforts have backfired, too.
what is a man to do?

[Azriel]

Just a plug for the new Facebook group we started. If anyone would like to join, we have started a PM group for Anxiety and Depression. If
you would like to join, please PM me here with your FB info.

Its a secret group, it won't show on your profile.

Shameless plug now over.

[BarbTherese]

We most often define the other by the way they present themselves, their thoughts words and deeds. As someone else has pointed out (and it applies to all forms of sufferers of mental illness) it is important to separate the person from the illness. Very sadly and with much suffering to the sufferer and also cause of stigma and rejection, sometimes ostracization from family, friends and community, others often continue to define by presentation, thoughts words and deeds which is in fact being affected by illness. Mental illness, including depression, is very often a physiological problem in the brain [i][u]affecting even effecting[/u][/i] mental functioning and behaviour. Will keep the situation in prayer.

Barb

Edited February 16, 2010 by BarbaraTherese

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[quote name='BarbaraTherese' date='15 February 2010 - 08:16 PM' timestamp='1266279417' post='2057707']
We most often define the other by the way they present themselves, their thoughts words and deeds. As someone else has pointed out (and it applies to all forms of sufferers of mental illness) it is important to separate the person from the illness. Very sadly and with much suffering to the sufferer and also cause of stigma and rejection, sometimes ostracization from family, friends and community, others often continue to define by presentation, thoughts words and deeds which is in fact being affected by illness. Mental illness, including depression, is very often a physiological problem in the brain [i][u]affecting even effecting[/u][/i] mental functioning and behaviour. Will keep the situation in prayer.

Barb
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been there, done that