Dealing With Someone Who Has Depression

[OraProMe]

My little sister (16) was recently diagnosed with clinical depression. It's like a constant melancholy with occasional out bursts of tears. I hate seeing her unhappy and have no idea what to do. I don't even know if I can do anything about it and should just stop stressing out and let her deal with it herself. How does one deal with this?

[Nihil Obstat]

[quote name='OraProMe' date='13 February 2010 - 07:50 PM' timestamp='1266112249' post='2056787']
My little sister (16) was recently diagnosed with clinical depression. It's like a constant melancholy with occasional out bursts of tears. I hate seeing her unhappy and have no idea what to do. I don't even know if I can do anything about it and should just stop stressing out and let her deal with it herself. How does one deal with this?
[/quote]
Have you talked with her about it? Let her say anything that might be on her mind?

[Veridicus]

In my own experience, it's a good thing for a depressed person to have someone they trust that they can talk to without feeling like a burden.

[OraProMe]

[quote name='Nihil Obstat' date='13 February 2010 - 08:57 PM' timestamp='1266112665' post='2056789']
Have you talked with her about it? Let her say anything that might be on her mind?
[/quote]

I have but it doesn't seem to make her much happier. Also she doesn't like talking about it.

[Veridicus]

[quote name='OraProMe' date='13 February 2010 - 08:05 PM' timestamp='1266113145' post='2056793']
I have but it doesn't seem to make her much happier. Also she doesn't like talking about it.
[/quote]

You can't make her talk...but you can help her understand that you care and don't mind being a sounding board if she needs/wants to talk.

[Nihil Obstat]

[quote name='OraProMe' date='13 February 2010 - 08:05 PM' timestamp='1266113145' post='2056793']
I have but it doesn't seem to make her much happier. Also she doesn't like talking about it.
[/quote]
If it were me, I wouldn't like to talk about it either, but I think the more I did, the better it would be.

[CatherineM]

I live with someone who has schizophrenia. The main thing I've learned is you have to be able to separate the person from the illness. When my husband thinks the TV is talking to him, I tell him to turn it off. I know that stuff is the illness, and not him.

If your sister has been prescribed medication, encourage her to take it. Some things that can help with depression are exercise, sunlight, and a good diet, especially with folic acid and fish oil.

[cmotherofpirl]

[quote name='OraProMe' date='13 February 2010 - 09:50 PM' timestamp='1266112249' post='2056787']
My little sister (16) was recently diagnosed with clinical depression. It's like a constant melancholy with occasional out bursts of tears. I hate seeing her unhappy and have no idea what to do. I don't even know if I can do anything about it and should just stop stressing out and let her deal with it herself. How does one deal with this?
[/quote]
Love her, be gentle with her, be available for conversation, consolation, transportation etc. Some of the best conversations in life occur over doing the dishes, raking the yard, going to the movies together -etc. Don't make her the center of attention, she probably feels conspicious and guilty for "having a problem". Be proud she is getting help. She might not want to talk to you, but she will never forget you being there for her.
Find out what meds she is on and read up on them. Be alert to any sudden changes in her mood. Depression is a family disease - everyone is affected by it, so learn all you can about it.
NEVER tell her to just get over it, or indicate it is in any way her fault. Depression is no more one's fault than getting any other disease in life. Pray for her.

[OraProMe]

[quote name='cmotherofpirl' date='13 February 2010 - 10:46 PM' timestamp='1266119182' post='2056863']
Love her, be gentle with her, be available for conversation, consolation, transportation etc. Some of the best conversations in life occur over doing the dishes, raking the yard, going to the movies together -etc. Don't make her the center of attention, she probably feels conspicious and guilty for "having a problem". Be proud she is getting help. She might not want to talk to you, but she will never forget you being there for her.
Find out what meds she is on and read up on them. Be alert to any sudden changes in her mood. Depression is a family disease - everyone is affected by it, so learn all you can about it.
NEVER tell her to just get over it, or indicate it is in any way her fault. Depression is no more one's fault than getting any other disease in life. Pray for her.
[/quote]

Thank you. That is such great advice. I don't live in the same house as her (I'm a uni student now) so I can't be there as often as I'd like to, but I'm going to make an effort to see her every week.

Thanks for the advice guys.

[Marie-Therese]

Lots of good advice already.

And remember, your sister is at a volatile age in terms of life changes, hormones, and lots of other circumstances. Gentle handling (even when it's difficult) is important. To add in depression on top of just having to deal with being a 16 year old girl must be really difficult. Encourage her that she is not alone, even though she might feel like it. Supportive presence sometimes does more than anything else.

Prayers to St. Dymphna for intercession for your sister.

[tinytherese]

I know that I'm having a difficult time with my depression, well it's really my mom who doesn't get it. She tells me to quit being so negative and hates it when I tell her that this illness really is affecting my life. (She thinks that I'm using it as a crutch/excuse for things.) I've also known other people to misunderstand the illness in other ways. Some people mistakingly believe that someone who has suicidal thoughts and or desires is being lazy or just taking the easy way out. Please know that this isn't true.

A part of me just wants to be treated, not like I'm a freak, but just as a normal person. I know that this illness can get you to feeling isolated and that even getting out of bed can be hard. There's also a stigma about people with mental illnesses, but we are just as human as everyone else and want to be treated with dignity.

[cmotherofpirl]

[quote name='tinytherese' date='14 February 2010 - 01:29 AM' timestamp='1266125348' post='2056923']
I know that I'm having a difficult time with my depression, well it's really my mom who doesn't get it. She tells me to quit being so negative and hates it when I tell her that this illness really is affecting my life. (She thinks that I'm using it as a crutch/excuse for things.) I've also known other people to misunderstand the illness in other ways. Some people mistakingly believe that someone who has suicidal thoughts and or desires is being lazy or just taking the easy way out. Please know that this isn't true.

A part of me just wants to be treated, not like I'm a freak, but just as a normal person. I know that this illness can get you to feeling isolated and that even getting out of bed can be hard. There's also a stigma about people with mental illnesses, but we are just as human as everyone else and want to be treated with dignity.
[/quote]
Telling a person with depression to just be less depressed is like telling a person with cancer to be just less cancerous.

[KnightofChrist]

Be positive when she is negative. Deeply care for her and let her know you do, and point out the good she does and what she means to you. It may require small subdue ways.

[Saint Therese]

From my own personal experience I can say that focusing on talking about what is causing the depression may only make mattes worse. I think the best thing you can do, besides prayer, is show her you care through actions.

[Azriel]

So much good advice already, I can only second what they say. Cannot stress enough that you need to always remember that she didn't choose this. Prayers for you both.