When Does Charity Become Selfish?

[BarbTherese]

Acts of virtue only because they make one feel good (or purely selfish motivation) could be sinful – it would take spiritual direction (or perhaps the Confessional) to discern as more factors would need to be taken into consideration to insight if motivation was indeed purely self indulgence. Feeling good after an act of virtue is a different matter – rather reminds of St. Therese who having conquered herself for the first time in a matter she found difficult, hugged herself for the pure joy of victory and mastery over self. Ideally one should feel some joy in virtue yet with all things in perspective.
Growth in the spiritual life will reveal ever deepening levels of imperfection now here, now there – now here and there, which as virtue grows will not be so much distressing as confirmation of a rightful disposition of humility. St Francis of Assisi said apparently that pride dies only ten minutes after we do. In spirituality we grow and short of the miraculous none will arrive at the perfection of any virtue in this life. There will always be room for growth and need to grow. Nor are things always in an upward or forward direction or progression. One day we may live exceptionally well and the very next day we may not do so at all. We need to be able to accept our fallen nature without abandoning the striving for virtue including in our motivations - and in recognizing e.g. my motivations are not the best am called to repentance and sorrow, and I then should go about striving to do better rather than abandoning the struggle for virtue itself.
No matter how great or how small our acts of virtue “we have only done our duty and are unprofitable servants”.
[quote]http://www.drbo.org/chapter/49017.htm [u]Luke Chapter “17[/u] 9 Doth he thank that servant, for doing the things which he commanded him? 10 I think not. So you also, when you shall have done all these things that are commanded you, say: We are unprofitable servants; we have done that which we ought to do.”[/quote]

Grace always precedes all goodness since all goodness comes from God – hence thanks and praise, if any, is due always to God and to rejoice in the victory of Grace and praising and thanking God for His Grace cannot be in any way sinful or even some level of imperfection – except possibly if we view ourselves as any sort of worthy vessel for any of God’s Graces for we remain always and everywhere and forever “unprofitable servants”. Humility.

Attitude and perspective.

Barb

[BarbTherese]

Charity means to love our neighbour for the love of God and hence Charity per se is not selfish. If my motivation for good acts are all about me and not about care and concern for my neighbour on some level, then it is not Charity per se. It is probably simply self indulgence. It could be said possibly on a certain level to be a form of charity (no capital "C") in that to appearances one has done a good act and perhaps benefited one’s neighbour – but the motivation (which is a matter of the heart and not appearances needs addressing. "Man judges by appearances, but The Lord reads the heart" - Book of Samuel) Hence the nature or intrinsic goodness of the overall act is lessened. In an ideal sense our thoughts, words and actions are all directed to God and for God and hence to neighbour and for neighbour. “How can you say you love God whom you cannot see if you do not love your neighbour whom you can” While perhaps we may not always have Love of God and neighbour actually consciously in mind, we are more generally disposed towards these than to indulging self. While we all can fail and fail what is our general disposition of Love of God and neighbour. [quote] http://www.drbo.org/cgi-bin/d?b=drb&bk=69&ch=4&l=20&f=s#x
“18 Fear is not in charity: but perfect charity casteth out fear, because fear hath pain. And he that feareth, is not perfected in charity. 19 Let us therefore love God, because God first hath loved us. 20 If any man say, I love God, and hateth his brother; he is a liar. For he that loveth not his brother, whom he seeth, how can he love God, whom he seeth not?”[/quote]

I think probably deep down most often and certainly if a serious matter, we do know when our motivation is not the best and "misses the mark" - and sin means "to miss the mark". "The Greek word hamartia (ἁμαρτία) is usually translated as sin in the New Testament. In Classical Greek, it means "to miss the mark" or "to miss the target" which was also used in Old English archery.[4] In Koine Greek, which was spoken in the time of the New Testament, however, this translation is not adequate.[5]" http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sin

However, if one is ever in doubt about personal sin or some other issue of personal morality, one can always bring it to the Confessional or to spiritual direction.

Barb

[humbleheart]

First of all, I think it's natural to feel some kind of inner joy if you've been kind to someone. We're meant to be how Christ is, and when we come closer to Him through our actions we will feel at peace. If you are acting out of pure love of neighbour, that joy will always be there, and there is nothing wrong in it.

However, I don't think this joy is ever self-congratulatory. One way I have of testing my motives is to ask myself whether I expect the recipient of my kindness to be grateful to me. In the past I have not only expected gratitude, but become indignant and irritated when the person didn't give it to me. One particular instance stands out in my mind, when I was supporting a friend who had been the victim of a serious crime. I recognise now that I wanted to be praised for my generosity, even held up as the saviour of the situation. When I didn't get the thanks and recognition that I thought was my due, I became angry towards my friend, even slightly bitter.

My general rule is that if I can do things without expecting gratitude, or if I can say, "Lord, you know I want some praise for this - please overlook this desire and help me to do the right thing anyway," I'll be OK.

[KeenanParkerII]

[quote]Ok -say you are going to do something nice for someone else.
If nobody knew about it or ever would, even the person who gets the benefit of whatever it is, would you still do it with the same enthusiasm or would you even do it at all?
Would you still do it even if it benefited them but harmed you in some way?
What are your ground rules for giving?

Thinking this way about something you are going to do, might give yourself some hint as to your actual motivations. [/quote]

Very good post.

Fundamentally, there's nothing wrong with feeling good about doing good things. It is almost always the case that the good feelings are dependent upon the act of charity and not the other way around. Think of it as a natural reward! It is only wrong when good feelings associated with other people knowing you've done good things becomes your motivation.

[quote]I sometimes wonder about this in regards to some "mission trips" that people go on to exotic places so they can hug orphans or whatever... like, I understand the importance of going and helping the poor in person and all that, but thinking about the cost of travel and such I sometimes wonder if charity to far away places is better in terms of offering your money. is there no one in these places already to do the actual charity work if the funding reached them? would more be able to be done if so much wasn't spent on plane trips and such; how much of those types of trips are about doing it for your own personal experience and what not?

when it comes to local non-exotic stuff done in humility, I don't see it as at all selfish even if you "feel good" about doing it. you should feel good about it, because it's a good thing to do, just don't go around seeking glory and prestige from it. it's the exotic stuff I sometimes question people's motives for...[/quote]

Ditto. When each missionary has to raise $2000 for jet fuel just so they can send themselves to Africa, I question their motivations. Why not send that $2000 to the and established ministry, which may be supporting a whole network of Churches/orphanages etc.