Make A Marriage Poll?

[KeenanParkerII]

[mommas_boy]

[quote name='southern california guy' date='22 January 2010 - 12:25 AM' timestamp='1264137946' post='2042088']
That's actually a bit too intimidating to me. I'm not seriously looking here. But I am seriously looking at Catholic Match so I'm much more concerned about the impression I make there!

I'd end up offending somebody and stigmatize myself...
[/quote]

Believe me, brother. It's all about getting yourself noticed. You don't want someone who likes the CookieCutter version of you that you present online. You want someone who likes the real you. Yeah, you gotta sell yourself, and package yourself to a certain extent to hook'em, but sooner or later ... who cares?

Look at it this way, what have you got to lose? Moreover, what have you got to gain? Yeah, you're going make people angry. Heck, I'm sure that most married people would tell you that they've made their spouse angry. Get used to it. And you know what, you might make one person angry, only to attract someone else, all in the same action.

Seriously, quit worrying. Be yourself. Because if you aren't yourself when you're trying to find the right person to ask on a date, then you surely won't be yourself when you begin seriously courting them, either. You'll be miserable. It would be cruel to you and to the young woman you happen to be courting.

Here's where you start: topics like this that you post on Phatmass, go ahead and keep posting them here. But, post them on Catholic Match, too. Watch for replies, and engage people in dialog. Discern together with them. Men and women. Even the women that you're not interested in. Because somebody is bound to notice. Even if you are arguing with one woman, some other woman entirely could come along and think to herself, "Wow. I've been watching this guy on CM forums for three months now, and I think I want to get to know him better."

So, brother to brother: grow a pair, and get on there.

[tinytherese]

From what I've been told, you can also look at what people believe regarding Church teaching on Ave Maria singles. Not everybody is orthodox on their, so you'd have to weed the heterox ones out.

[zunshynn]

Dude, you totally missed my point. Totally.

[HisChildForever]

[quote name='zunshynn' date='22 January 2010 - 02:12 AM' timestamp='1264144374' post='2042147']
Dude, you totally missed my point. Totally.
[/quote]

Oh, so you're the cause of the thread.

[tinytherese]

This site seems to have good courtship advice. http://www.6stonejars.com/

[AccountDeleted]

And this belongs on the Debate Table because???? Is there something to debate here?

[southern california guy]

[quote name='nunsense' date='22 January 2010 - 01:04 AM' timestamp='1264147448' post='2042153']
And this belongs on the Debate Table because???? Is there something to debate here?
[/quote]

Yes. You've heard the Popes statement about the US Catholic church granting too many annulments. What I seem to find with the Catholic singles are a whole bunch of divorcee's -- some with an annulment, some not.

Catholic Alumni clubs don't get many members down here everybody goes to Young Adult events. Down here in San Diego the BIG "Young Adult" parish is Saint Brigid in Pacific Beach. There a huge number of events there -- and they are all age segregated (Men over 40 are kicked out of "Young Adult" events. They don't worry about the women). So I have gone to events with the older "Adult Community", but I feel very out of place because it's a big group of divorcees. And to be honest I don't want to hear about their fights with their ex-husbands and ex-wives. I don't want to hear about the problems with their kids -- or the messes their kids are becoming.

And I finally realized that what the Catholic church is doing with it's age segregation is attempting to separate the divorcee's from young never married. They give talks like "Theology of marriage" to the "Young Adults". They have discussions. There's none of this in the older group.

And to make matters worse I agree with Jesus Christs position about divorce and remarriage. Of course Jesus made people so angry that they horrifically executed him... The only church I've ever found that didn't dance around the subject of divorce and remarriage is called the Protestant Reformed Church. It's the ONLY Protestant church that won't remarry their members after a divorce. It's kind of what the Catholic church used to be. They have a very very low divorce rate.

Anyway I'm going off on a tangent. But my point is that there are certain things that I'm looking for. As it turns out -- I've dated many divorcee's -- not having being married is very important to me! And that's just starters. I'd write more but I've gotta get to work.

[AccountDeleted]

[quote name='southern california guy' date='22 January 2010 - 11:57 PM' timestamp='1264165044' post='2042196']
Yes. You've heard the Popes statement about the US Catholic church granting too many annulments. What I seem to find with the Catholic singles are a whole bunch of divorcee's -- some with an annulment, some not.

Catholic Alumni clubs don't get many members down here everybody goes to Young Adult events. Down here in San Diego the BIG "Young Adult" parish is Saint Brigid in Pacific Beach. There a huge number of events there -- and they are all age segregated (Men over 40 are kicked out of "Young Adult" events. They don't worry about the women). So I have gone to events with the older "Adult Community", but I feel very out of place because it's a big group of divorcees. And to be honest I don't want to hear about their fights with their ex-husbands and ex-wives. I don't want to hear about the problems with their kids -- or the messes their kids are becoming.

And I finally realized that what the Catholic church is doing with it's age segregation is attempting to separate the divorcee's from young never married. They give talks like "Theology of marriage" to the "Young Adults". They have discussions. There's none of this in the older group.

And to make matters worse I agree with Jesus Christs position about divorce and remarriage. Of course Jesus made people so angry that they horrifically executed him... The only church I've ever found that didn't dance around the subject of divorce and remarriage is called the Protestant Reformed Church. It's the ONLY Protestant church that won't remarry their members after a divorce. It's kind of what the Catholic church used to be. They have a very very low divorce rate.

Anyway I'm going off on a tangent. But my point is that there are certain things that I'm looking for. As it turns out -- I've dated many divorcee's -- not having being married is very important to me! And that's just starters. I'd write more but I've gotta get to work.
[/quote]

So let me get this straight. The Debate here is either about whether or not we should start a marriage poll? Or whether or not there are too many annulments in the Catholic Church? Or whether or not there are any good Catholic Singles clubs out there? I am still not seeing the Debate part.

And your assertion is that Jesus was killed because He was against divorce? I think you are mixing up a few different issues here.

Edited January 22, 2010 by nunsense

[Hilde]

I don't really understand what to debate here either.

You're in the fortunate situation of living in a country with many Catholics, so go to one of them dating sites.

[Socrates]

[quote name='mommas_boy' date='22 January 2010 - 01:55 AM' timestamp='1264143335' post='2042139']
Believe me, brother. It's all about getting yourself noticed. You don't want someone who likes the CookieCutter version of you that you present online. You want someone who likes the real you. Yeah, you gotta sell yourself, and package yourself to a certain extent to hook'em, but sooner or later ... who cares?

Look at it this way, what have you got to lose? Moreover, what have you got to gain? Yeah, you're going make people angry. Heck, I'm sure that most married people would tell you that they've made their spouse angry. Get used to it. And you know what, you might make one person angry, only to attract someone else, all in the same action.

Seriously, quit worrying. Be yourself. Because if you aren't yourself when you're trying to find the right person to ask on a date, then you surely won't be yourself when you begin seriously courting them, either. You'll be miserable. It would be cruel to you and to the young woman you happen to be courting.

Here's where you start: topics like this that you post on Phatmass, go ahead and keep posting them here. But, post them on Catholic Match, too. Watch for replies, and engage people in dialog. Discern together with them. Men and women. Even the women that you're not interested in. Because somebody is bound to notice. Even if you are arguing with one woman, some other woman entirely could come along and think to herself, "Wow. I've been watching this guy on CM forums for three months now, and I think I want to get to know him better."

So, brother to brother: grow a pair, and get on there.
[/quote]
Interestingly, I met my fiancee on Ave Maria Singles in a similar situation. I had been on that site for quite a few years without lasting success, and had not been particularly active on it for a while. After having been kicked off Phatmass for my usual political incorrectness, I decided to post in some of their forums just for the heck of it (though I had all but given up on actually finding a woman on there). Shortly after, Bubbles sent me a pm concerning my posts, I responded, and the rest is history.
The interesting thing was at the time I wasn't really actively looking for a date, but just posting my thoughts on some things.

Not to sound like a shill for Anthony Buono, but you might want to check out that site, SoCal Guy. It's smaller than Catholic Match, but I've actually gotten more action on Ave Maria than Catholic Match. I think the bigger the site, the easier it is to get "lost in the crowd." In both sites, you can list your views on various key issues of faith and morals, as well as whether you're divorced or not, etc., and see those of the other members. You can also screen out those who do not fit your criteria on these issues.

Just don't expect instant gratification (it can take a while), and you might have to be willing to go outside your local geographical area (we were in different states).

[Drew-Memphis]

Not that any one really cares to hear my story, but I shall share any way.


I met my current girlfriend of nearly a year on eHarmony. Believe it or not the site can actually work. The kick here is to be HONEST! Don't put what you think someone will want to hear because if you get matched and it's with someone who "matches" the persona you put up, then you're headed for heartbreak.

Much support from me, though. God Bless your journey.

[tinytherese]

[quote name='southern california guy' date='22 January 2010 - 07:57 AM' timestamp='1264165044' post='2042196']
Yes. You've heard the Popes statement about the US Catholic church granting too many annulments. What I seem to find with the Catholic singles are a whole bunch of divorcee's -- some with an annulment, some not.

Catholic Alumni clubs don't get many members down here everybody goes to Young Adult events. Down here in San Diego the BIG "Young Adult" parish is Saint Brigid in Pacific Beach. There a huge number of events there -- and they are all age segregated (Men over 40 are kicked out of "Young Adult" events. They don't worry about the women). So I have gone to events with the older "Adult Community", but I feel very out of place because it's a big group of divorcees. And to be honest I don't want to hear about their fights with their ex-husbands and ex-wives. I don't want to hear about the problems with their kids -- or the messes their kids are becoming.

And I finally realized that what the Catholic church is doing with it's age segregation is attempting to separate the divorcee's from young never married. They give talks like "Theology of marriage" to the "Young Adults". They have discussions. There's none of this in the older group.

And to make matters worse I agree with Jesus Christs position about divorce and remarriage. Of course Jesus made people so angry that they horrifically executed him... The only church I've ever found that didn't dance around the subject of divorce and remarriage is called the Protestant Reformed Church. It's the ONLY Protestant church that won't remarry their members after a divorce. It's kind of what the Catholic church used to be. They have a very very low divorce rate.

Anyway I'm going off on a tangent. But my point is that there are certain things that I'm looking for. As it turns out -- I've dated many divorcee's -- not having being married is very important to me! And that's just starters. I'd write more but I've gotta get to work.
[/quote]

Jesus didn't have a problem with annulments. He had a problem with divorced people remarrying, which would be adultery. An annulment is different from a divorce. A divorce ENDS a marriage, while an annulmentin the Church is a declaration that the marriage was INVALID sacramentally. Annulments can be granted civily in some cases, but I'm not sure how that works. So if someone has received an annulment from the Church and are looking to marry again it isn't as though they are committing adultery, they were only married legally before, but were not truly married in the eyes of the Church.

[southern california guy]

[quote name='nunsense' date='22 January 2010 - 06:19 AM' timestamp='1264166347' post='2042203']
So let me get this straight. The Debate here is either about whether or not we should start a marriage poll? Or whether or not there are too many annulments in the Catholic Church? Or whether or not there are any good Catholic Singles clubs out there? I am still not seeing the Debate part.
[/quote]

Oh come on, you know what I was getting at. I was giving my viewpoint on annulments. My preference would be "never married" versus "annulled" (If they're simply divorced then they can't marry in the Catholic church so that wouldn't be an option).


[quote name='nunsense' date='22 January 2010 - 06:19 AM' timestamp='1264166347' post='2042203']
And your assertion is that Jesus was killed because He was against divorce? I think you are mixing up a few different issues here.
[/quote]

Are you being absurd? You know the Bible much better than I do. Divorce is one of the issues that Jesus directly debated with the Pharisees (Mark 10). It was conflicts over issues such as these -- and what he taught -- that turned the Jews against him.

Here's the passage from the book of Mark:

[b]
MARK 10:2-4[/b]
[b]2[/b] And some Pharisees came up to Him, testing Him, and began to question Him whether it was lawful for a man to divorce a wife.
[b]3[/b] And He answered and said to them, [color="#8B0000"]"What did Moses command you?"[/color]
[b]4[/b] And they said, "Moses permitted a man to write a certificate of divorce and send her away."

[b]MARK 10:10-12[/b]
[b]10[/b] And in the house the disciples began questioning Him about this again.
[b]11[/b] And he said to them, [color="#8B0000"]"Whoever divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her;[/color]
[b]12[/b] [color="#8B0000"]and if she herself divorces her husband and marries another man, she is committing adultery."[/color]

Marriage isn't clearly defined in the bible but a legal divorce is...

[b]DEUTERONOMY 24:1[/b] (According to Moses)
[b]24[/b]"When a man takes a wife and marries her, and it happens that she finds no favor in his eyes because he has found some indecency in her, and he writes her a certificate of divorce and puts it in her hand and sends her out from his house

[zunshynn]

Jesus was crucified for blasphemy. Saying he was God.

Marriage is important. But don't make your personal agenda out to be the Church's agenda.

If you wanted to make a poll about your view on annulments, why didn't you? Supposedly this is a debate over whether or not you should make a poll about marriage.