Does Increasing Annulments Increase The Divorce Rate?

[Veridicus]

[quote name='aalpha1989' date='17 January 2010 - 10:53 PM' timestamp='1263790430' post='2039475']
I know people who openly discuss falsefying documents and lying to tribunals.
[/quote]


In the early 90s my step mother was advised by her priest to lie on documents when she inquired about annulment after she found out that her husband had been sleeping with other women before, during, and after their marriage (and that her ex-inlaws had known about it all along without saying anything). The priest told her she needed to lie and say that she had doubts the day of the wedding if she wanted an annulment. Despite the tragedy of the situation, my stepmom said her wedding day had been the happiest day of her life up to that point because she had no idea her fiancee was a giant sleezebag.

Needless to say my step mother found the entire process ridiculous given the suggestion by her priest and years later remarried my father in a civil ceremony without the Church's blessing. They now attend a different parish where no one is aware of the fact she never got an annulment. She's very bitter about the entire annulment process.

Edited January 18, 2010 by Veridicus

[organwerke]

[quote name='Nihil Obstat' date='18 January 2010 - 12:52 AM' timestamp='1263768777' post='2039316']
Well statistically I think it is more likely. Also puts the children at greater risk of delinquency, etc.. Not that we should judge them just because their parents are divorced, but statistically it's definitely significant.
[/quote]

I still don't agree, and I don't think that it does exist a source that demonstrates this relation.
I simply think that we can imagine that it is more likely that in general persons of THIS generation are at a greater risk of divorce becuase social environment, in general, is much more "pro-divorce" than in the past: I don't think there is a significative difference between kids from married couples and chldren for divorced ones.

We also have to think that divorce is quite recent, so many persons of this generation who are divorced are likely children of married -not divorced couples from the previous generation.

[Nihil Obstat]

[quote name='organwerke' date='18 January 2010 - 03:04 PM' timestamp='1263848661' post='2039786']
I still don't agree, and I don't think that it does exist a source that demonstrates this relation.
I simply think that we can imagine that it is more likely that in general persons of THIS generation are at a greater risk of divorce becuase social environment, in general, is much more "pro-divorce" than in the past: I don't think there is a significative difference between kids from married couples and chldren for divorced ones.

We also have to think that divorce is quite recent, so many persons of this generation who are divorced are likely children of married -not divorced couples from the previous generation.
[/quote]
I don't understand what you're disagreeing with me about.

[Veridicus]

[quote name='Nihil Obstat' date='18 January 2010 - 03:10 PM' timestamp='1263849010' post='2039792']
I don't understand what you're disagreeing with me about.
[/quote]

Who's on first?

[organwerke]

I disagree with southerncalifornia guy when he says that kids from broken families are more likely to get divorced (for the only fact that their parents are divorced).

I think you confirmed this belief when you say [i]Well statistically I think it is more likely.[/i]

I don't want to approve divorce at all. But I don't think that kids from broken families are more likely to get divorced than contemporary kids from united families.

[Nihil Obstat]

[quote name='organwerke' date='18 January 2010 - 03:22 PM' timestamp='1263849731' post='2039800']
I disagree with southerncalifornia guy when he says that kids from broken families are more likely to get divorced (for the only fact that their parents are divorced).

I think you confirmed this belief when you say [i]Well statistically I think it is more likely.[/i]

I don't want to approve divorce at all. But I don't think that kids from broken families are more likely to get divorced than contemporary kids from united families.
[/quote]
In that case I'll have to tell you that the research bears me out.
[url="http://www.divorcereform.org/all.html"]My link[/url]

..."Sex between young teens and older individuals increases with the number of famiy disadvantages...[The teens] lived in a family structure other than one headed by two biological or adoptive parents"...

..."Trends created an index of family disadvantage. We found that as the number of family disadvantages increases, the likelihood of sex between young teens and older individuals increases correspondingly..."

Children of divorce are twice as likely to drop out of school as those from intact homes, three times as apt to have a baby out of wedlock, five-fold more likely to be in poverty and 12 times more apt to be incarcerated.

The sons of single parents are more prone to commit suicide as adults than others, and daughters are more likely to have abortions and more children. The risk of suicide doubled if sons were raised by single parents. When compared with people who grew up in a traditional family with both parents, children of single parents are hospitalized more often due to injuries and poisonings. The sons of single parents also commit more crimes.

"* Among married men, 63% grew up in two-parent homes vs. 37% in
non-traditional families.

* 54% from traditional homes say they'd ''be ready to marry tomorrow if the
right person came along'' vs. 43% of men from single-parent or step-parent
families.

* 22% of singles are ''not the marrying kind.'' These are more likely to be
from non-traditional families (59%) vs. 41% from homes with two biological
parents."

Religion: Children of divorce (whose parents divorced while they were children) are 62% more likely than children of non-divorced parents to no longer identify with the faith of their parents when they grow up. Catholics were 1.7 times more likely to switch to a moderate
Protestant denomination, 2.6 times more likely to switch to a conservative
Protestant denomination, and 2.2 times as likely to apostatize.

"Children who grow up in single-parent homes are less likely to marry, more likely to divorce, and more likely to have children outside of wedlock."
Daniel T. Lichter et al., "Race and the Retreat from Marriage: A Shortage of Marriageable Men?" American Sociological Review 57 (December 1992): 781-799. Cited on page27 ofThe Abolition of Marriage, by Maggie Gallagher



The link I provided is quite thorough.

[CatherineM]

[quote name='Veridicus' date='18 January 2010 - 01:53 PM' timestamp='1263844427' post='2039747']
In the early 90s my step mother was advised by her priest to lie on documents when she inquired about annulment after she found out that her husband had been sleeping with other women before, during, and after their marriage (and that her ex-inlaws had known about it all along without saying anything). The priest told her she needed to lie and say that she had doubts the day of the wedding if she wanted an annulment. Despite the tragedy of the situation, my stepmom said her wedding day had been the happiest day of her life up to that point because she had no idea her fiancee was a giant sleezebag.

Needless to say my step mother found the entire process ridiculous given the suggestion by her priest and years later remarried my father in a civil ceremony without the Church's blessing. They now attend a different parish where no one is aware of the fact she never got an annulment. She's very bitter about the entire annulment process.
[/quote]
I'm sorry your step-mother was given such bad advice. It's possible that he told her to say that to save her from the embarrassment of asking women who had slept with her first husband to provide that information to the tribunal. It doesn't matter if she had doubts since her ex obviously didn't intend from the beginning to keep the vows he was taking. By saying she was the one with the doubts, all the dirty laundry could have been hidden. It's never too late. I'd suggest she call the tribunal, explain the trouble she had with the first priest, and they can direct her to a priest/advocate with more experience and expertise with the process.

[Veridicus]

[quote name='CatherineM' date='18 January 2010 - 03:35 PM' timestamp='1263850504' post='2039806']
I'm sorry your step-mother was given such bad advice. It's possible that he told her to say that to save her from the embarrassment of asking women who had slept with her first husband to provide that information to the tribunal. It doesn't matter if she had doubts since her ex obviously didn't intend from the beginning to keep the vows he was taking. By saying she was the one with the doubts, all the dirty laundry could have been hidden. It's never too late. I'd suggest she call the tribunal, explain the trouble she had with the first priest, and they can direct her to a priest/advocate with more experience and expertise with the process.
[/quote]

She divorced her husband in the beginning of the 90s and remarried my dad civilly in about 2000. Funny irony is I was the only person who wasn't in attendance at her and my father's 'wedding' because they planned it while I was on a trip with my own mother out of town. I got the whole story from her one night when she'd had a little too much wine. My step-mom's own mother (a very devout French Catholic army wife) was verbal about her own unhappiness with her daughter not getting an annulment before marrying my dad. It was more or less her dying wish because she verbalized that sentiment until the day she died a year or so later. It's unfortunate my stepmom was so scandalized by the advice of that priest; I don't know that I have any more advice to give her if she couldn't accommodate the desires of her frail dying mother. All I feel that I can do is pray for her obedience and a softened heart. Its kinda her and my father's souls on the line.