Vocation To The Single Life

[Norseman82]

[quote name='HisChildForever' date='06 January 2010 - 09:51 PM' timestamp='1262832664' post='2031335']
That's not what I was talking about. A man who has been single all his life (as in, not married) dies at 85. If being single is not counted as a vocation, then what was his?
[/quote]

Maybe his was marriage, but he was unable to fulfill it because he could not find the right woman. I believe that it was Mary Beth Bonacci who stated that a lot of people who really have the vocation to marriage cannot achieve it because the dating pool is poisoned.

[Nihil Obstat]

[quote name='Norseman82' date='07 January 2010 - 12:04 AM' timestamp='1262844249' post='2031587']
Maybe his was marriage, but he was unable to fulfill it because he could not find the right woman. I believe that it was Mary Beth Bonacci who stated that a lot of people who really have the vocation to marriage cannot achieve it because the dating pool is poisoned.
[/quote]
That's how I feel at the moment.

[Norseman82]

[quote name='cappie' date='07 January 2010 - 12:55 AM' timestamp='1262843759' post='2031585']
I find no mention of an unconsecrated single “vocation” in Church teaching anywhere. As far as the Church is concerned, it doesn’t exist. Here is the problem: [i]“vocation,” in the sense the Church understands it[/i], means “to give oneself completely.” The Vatican II document Gaudium et Spes says that man finds himself only through a sincere gift of himself. John Paul II, in Mulieris Dignitatem, speaks of the “spousal disposition of women.” We – women and men -- were made to give ourselves, in love, to others. That’s where we find happiness.

Don’t singles give? Of course, often more than most. But vocation doesn’t mean “being a generous person.” It means giving our lives completely to another – either to a spouse in marriage or to God in consecrated virginity. And singleness doesn’t do that. In fact, the single state is defined by the lack of that gift.

But God writes straight with crooked lines. He meets us where we are. When we turn our lives over to Him, he creates something beautiful – beyond our wildest expectations. That beautiful life will be different for every unique person God touches. But a few threads run consistently.
Singleness gives an opportunity to turn to God in a profoundly personal way. With no other partner, God becomes partner. And when we turn to Him with that request, He answers. Singles are more aware that real fulfillment comes from giving. The absence of built-in gift in lives motivates single people to move outside of themselves and to reach out in love to those around us.
[/quote]

Ironically, we were both quoting from the same Mary Beth Bonacci article at the same time! Here is the full article:

http://www.4marks.com/articles/details.html?article_id=437

Edited January 7, 2010 by Norseman82

[HisChildForever]

[quote name='Norseman82' date='07 January 2010 - 01:04 AM' timestamp='1262844249' post='2031587']
Maybe his was marriage, but he was unable to fulfill it because he could not find the right woman. I believe that it was Mary Beth Bonacci who stated that a lot of people who really have the vocation to marriage cannot achieve it because the dating pool is poisoned.
[/quote]

Hm, kind of like those who are called to religious life but never answer?

[littleflower+JMJ]

[quote name='cappie' date='07 January 2010 - 12:55 AM' timestamp='1262843759' post='2031585']
I find no mention of an unconsecrated single “vocation” in Church teaching anywhere. As far as the Church is concerned, it doesn’t exist. Here is the problem: [i]“vocation,” in the sense the Church understands it[/i], means “to give oneself completely.” The Vatican II document Gaudium et Spes says that man finds himself only through a sincere gift of himself. John Paul II, in Mulieris Dignitatem, speaks of the “spousal disposition of women.” We – women and men -- were made to give ourselves, in love, to others. That’s where we find happiness.

Don’t singles give? Of course, often more than most. But vocation doesn’t mean “being a generous person.” It means giving our lives completely to another – either to a spouse in marriage or to God in consecrated virginity. And singleness doesn’t do that. In fact, the single state is defined by the lack of that gift.

But God writes straight with crooked lines. He meets us where we are. When we turn our lives over to Him, he creates something beautiful – beyond our wildest expectations. That beautiful life will be different for every unique person God touches. But a few threads run consistently.
Singleness gives an opportunity to turn to God in a profoundly personal way. With no other partner, God becomes partner. And when we turn to Him with that request, He answers. Singles are more aware that real fulfillment comes from giving. The absence of built-in gift in lives motivates single people to move outside of themselves and to reach out in love to those around us.
[/quote]

Awesome! And totally agree. More people need to learn this.

[Norseman82]

[quote name='HisChildForever' date='07 January 2010 - 01:13 AM' timestamp='1262844783' post='2031591']
Hm, kind of like those who are called to religious life but never answer?
[/quote]

Maybe. Maybe not. But keep in mind, too, that we are not vocationless from birth, and we do not need to wander through life like mindless Archons crying out "What's my vocation?" The CCC states that the vocation to [b]marriage[/b] is what is placed into our very nature (see CCC 1603), and that the two state of life vocations are either marriage or "virginity for the sake of the kingdom", which is further clarified as priestly ministry or consecrated/religious life. So, the only thing we really need to discern is whether or not we have a vocation to something other than marriage.

[cappie]

Another good article:

[url="http://www.stbrigidofkildare.org/singlelife.htm"]http://www.stbrigidofkildare.org/singlelife.htm[/url]

[PadrePioOfPietrelcino]

long ago when I was learning sign language, I learned a common phrase in the deaf community I find personally true as well seeing how I'm 27 and never really dated anyone more than a couple times. I am alone yes, but not lonely.

[tinytherese]

I find it sad how many men are marriage-phobic (not that every single man is that way. Some just haven't found the right woman.)

My half-brother who is 31 let's just say hasn't grown up yet (claiming that he'll wait and do that when he's 40,) and is cautious about getting married because our dad and his mom had a really bitter divorce when he was two years old and they hate each other to this day still. Weeks ago I found out that when our dad and his first wife were having marriage problems and that they went to counseling. My dad was under the impression that this was an effort to save the marriage. Then he was shocked and humiliated at the second counseling session to hear his wife say that she didn't want to save the marriage and that she even had a boyfriend already. Dad asked why they were there then and she said that it was to help the two of them adjust. Dad stayed his ground by staying at the house even after the divorce was final because he saw it as it being his house and that he should fight for it. He lived in the basement while his ex-wife went out with her boyfriend. Eventually, living arrangements were settled, but because of his decision to stick it out he had a rocky relationship with his ex-wife and she tried to fight so that he couldn't see my brother anymore. Fortunately, he didn't lose him, but the situation was just ugly with his ex. No wonder my brother is nervous about marriage!

[Norseman82]

[quote name='tinytherese' date='07 January 2010 - 01:43 PM' timestamp='1262889829' post='2031824']
I find it sad how many men are marriage-phobic (not that every single man is that way. Some just haven't found the right woman.)

My half-brother who is 31 let's just say hasn't grown up yet (claiming that he'll wait and do that when he's 40,) and is cautious about getting married because our dad and his mom had a really bitter divorce when he was two years old and they hate each other to this day still. Weeks ago I found out that when our dad and his first wife were having marriage problems and that they went to counseling. My dad was under the impression that this was an effort to save the marriage. Then he was shocked and humiliated at the second counseling session to hear his wife say that she didn't want to save the marriage and that she even had a boyfriend already. Dad asked why they were there then and she said that it was to help the two of them adjust. Dad stayed his ground by staying at the house even after the divorce was final because he saw it as it being his house and that he should fight for it. He lived in the basement while his ex-wife went out with her boyfriend. Eventually, living arrangements were settled, but because of his decision to stick it out he had a rocky relationship with his ex-wife and she tried to fight so that he couldn't see my brother anymore. Fortunately, he didn't lose him, but the situation was just ugly with his ex. No wonder my brother is nervous about marriage!
[/quote]

I have found that the whole "fear of divorce" is what is making people in general phobic regarding marriage (although I've heard the comment more from women).

[Jaime]

[quote name='cappie' date='07 January 2010 - 12:55 AM' timestamp='1262843759' post='2031585']
I find no mention of an unconsecrated single "vocation" in Church teaching anywhere. As far as the Church is concerned, it doesn't exist. Here is the problem: [i]"vocation," in the sense the Church understands it[/i], means "to give oneself completely." The Vatican II document Gaudium et Spes says that man finds himself only through a sincere gift of himself. John Paul II, in Mulieris Dignitatem, speaks of the "spousal disposition of women." We – women and men -- were made to give ourselves, in love, to others. That's where we find happiness.

Don't singles give? Of course, often more than most. But vocation doesn't mean "being a generous person." It means giving our lives completely to another – either to a spouse in marriage or to God in consecrated virginity. And singleness doesn't do that. In fact, the single state is defined by the lack of that gift.

But God writes straight with crooked lines. He meets us where we are. When we turn our lives over to Him, he creates something beautiful – beyond our wildest expectations. That beautiful life will be different for every unique person God touches. But a few threads run consistently.
Singleness gives an opportunity to turn to God in a profoundly personal way. With no other partner, God becomes partner. And when we turn to Him with that request, He answers. Singles are more aware that real fulfillment comes from giving. The absence of built-in gift in lives motivates single people to move outside of themselves and to reach out in love to those around us.
[/quote]


My favorite cappucin

[Winchester]

[quote name='hot stuff' date='07 January 2010 - 08:42 PM' timestamp='1262914948' post='2032150']
My favorite cappucin
[/quote]
I like monkeys, too.

[Gregorius]

In my solitude, I am never alone, for God is always with me. Though I do admit, it's not all buds and roses, but that's mainly because I have a nasty habit of blocking God out of my head instead of just shutting up and listening to Him. Which by the way, God's getting more persuasive as of late. Prayers, please.

But anyway, just because single people aren't intimate, doesn't mean they can't have satisfying relationships. I have our God, my family, my friends, my parish, and my Phamily. Know what I mean?

So, no matter the vocation you have, Ora, or which one you want, or if you even want one right now, you are living the single life. Many of us here are also living the single life. And until we realize another call, this is the gift we have. So enjoy it. And share it with us, too. We enjoy the company.

[Gregorius]

On a lighter note, just as I was sitting in sorrow thinking God abandoned me, God [url="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oHg5SJYRHA0&feature=related"]just seems to call me through the ordinary life around me.[/url]

[southern california guy]

I think that I'm living this vocation to the single life against my will! In fact I'll bet that some of you guys are too..

So... what we need to do is to match people up -- so that their new vocation can be a married one!

Here's a picture of me.

[img]http://inlinethumb62.webshots.com/20861/2017356250066947068S500x500Q85.jpg[/img]

(Pretty appealing,huh! What do ya think? Do the fake tattoo's and wig make me look a little too sexy?)

Edited January 8, 2010 by southern california guy