Priest Asked Noisy Children To Leave

[rhetoricfemme]

I didn't wake up in time for Mass today, so went to a later Mass at a different parish. I was rather surprised when the priest interrupted the prayer to say that he couldn't concentrate on the prayer with the two crying children in the back of the room. On one hand, I was kind of disappointed, because I feel like it's important for children to be present for the Mass. Still, they were quite loud, it did take some effort to concentrate, and I can't imagine how the priest must have felt making that call.

Their parents were trying to get them under control; they were probably about 3 years old or so. It's not like the parents were just letting their kids run around, they were really doing what they could. Honestly, even with the disruptions, I find those instances endearing, because it reminds me that Christ meant the Mass to be for all of us, adults and children alike. Also, I didn't notice a cry room. It could've been there, though, and I just missed it...

What do you think?

[Lilllabettt]

eeek. I think because of all the risks involved, (parents are humilated, embarassed, sad, angry, nervous about bringing their kids to Church, never come back to that parish again, leave the Church altogether) I personally would have just sucked it up. I guess I would have told myself, God doesn't mind it if your prayer is distracted, if you're putting up with the distraction for charity's sake.

[MIKolbe]

I would have taken my child outside.

I would have been followed by my wife, we would have proceeded to our car, and we would go to a different parish, permanently.

[Archaeology cat]

I only take my son out if I can tell he's going to really wail. He usually doesn't cry at Mass, with the exceptions being if he trips on a kneeler, or is tired/hungry. If the parents' best efforts at calming the child aren't working, then perhaps it is best to get up with the child. Sometimes all it takes is letting the child walk around in the back. Since the parents were trying to calm the child, I wouldn't be upset about it, though I do know that before I had a child I was much quicker to get irritated. I personally find that my son is better behaved if I sit close to the front so he can see everything the priest is doing, but I know every child is different.

[BG45]

[quote name='Lilllabettt' date='04 October 2009 - 02:16 PM' timestamp='1254680191' post='1977399']
eeek. I think because of all the risks involved, (parents are humilated, embarassed, sad, angry, nervous about bringing their kids to Church, never come back to that parish again, leave the Church altogether) I personally would have just sucked it up. I guess I would have told myself, God doesn't mind it if your prayer is distracted, if you're putting up with the distraction for charity's sake.
[/quote]

Never coming back again reminds me, I have a friend who stopped going to Mass and became Episcopalian because her priest told her in no uncertain terms not to bring her children with her to Mass because he couldn't stand them. He would interrupt the Mass to chew her out all the time, and outright refused to baptise one of her children because she was a neophyte (which theologically should have no bearing at all, given an Atheist can even baptise in dire emergency). She wasn't living in an area where she could go parish hopping either.

If the kids were a bit older (which in this case they werent'), my father and his brother were kicked out of the parish I now attend when he was young. They went with a friend and were asking questions to their friend as to what the priest was saying (this was pre-Vatican II, it was in Latin) and he stopped the Mass, came down from the altar, and forcibly ejected them from the church. They were told in no uncertain terms they were unwelcome in God's house. To this day he still holds that memory against the Church almost five decades later.

So to finish up as to the OP question, I agree with Lillabettt. smell of elderberries it up, a distracted prayer is just as good as ever when you're doing so for charity's sake. And I for one, find this priest's actions uncharitable in the extreme, ESPECIALLY given the Gospel readings for today.

Edited October 4, 2009 by BG45

[aalpha1989]

I can't speak for the actions of this priest. I wasn't present, and I don't know whether he was uncharitable or not.

I can say with certainty, though, that it is an act of charity for parents to leave the church with their children if the children are truly disruptive. Priests shouldn't have to get involved, they should be able to continue with the flow of the Mass, and parents should ensure that by going to the vestibule or wherever. At Mass today the priest (he was a visiting priest, I'd never seen him before) said at the beginning of his sermon, "I'd like to tell you that when I preach we follow the six second rule; if your child is loud for more than six seconds, please take them out of the church." I thought that was good of the priest. He was kind but firm (which is meekness). He cared for the spiritual welfare of the parish, because loud children really can be distracting, and he wanted the flock to be able to concentrate.

I think it's important to note that pre-rationals haven't always attended Mass, and really have no Sunday obligation. It's a strange anomaly that parents of today insist on keeping their disruptive children in the church during liturgies, which does no good for anyone in the church (their kids included).

[Sternhauser]

[quote name='rhetoricfemme' date='04 October 2009 - 02:11 PM' timestamp='1254679894' post='1977397']
I didn't wake up in time for Mass today, so went to a later Mass at a different parish. I was rather surprised when the priest interrupted the prayer to say that he couldn't concentrate on the prayer with the two crying children in the back of the room. On one hand, I was kind of disappointed, because I feel like it's important for children to be present for the Mass. Still, they were quite loud, it did take some effort to concentrate, and I can't imagine how the priest must have felt making that call.

Their parents were trying to get them under control; they were probably about 3 years old or so. It's not like the parents were just letting their kids run around, they were really doing what they could. Honestly, even with the disruptions, I find those instances endearing, because it reminds me that Christ meant the Mass to be for all of us, adults and children alike. Also, I didn't notice a cry room. It could've been there, though, and I just missed it...

What do you think?
[/quote]

One of the best homilies I ever heard was one sentence long, and came during a homily which was interrupted by the loud crying of a child. After the crying subsided, the priest said, "I love to hear crying babies at Mass, because it stings the conscience of those contracepting couples who selfishly refuse to have children."

~Sternhauser

[Theologian in Training]

[quote name='Sternhauser' date='04 October 2009 - 03:53 PM' timestamp='1254682381' post='1977422']
One of the best homilies I ever heard was one sentence long, and came during a homily which was interrupted by the loud crying of a child. After the crying subsided, the priest said, "I love to hear crying babies at Mass, because it stings the conscience of those contracepting couples who selfishly refuse to have children."

~Sternhauser
[/quote]


I literally LOL'ed

[Chestertonian]

[quote name='Sternhauser' date='04 October 2009 - 12:53 PM' timestamp='1254682381' post='1977422']
One of the best homilies I ever heard was one sentence long, and came during a homily which was interrupted by the loud crying of a child. After the crying subsided, the priest said, "I love to hear crying babies at Mass, because it stings the conscience of those contracepting couples who selfishly refuse to have children."

~Sternhauser
[/quote]

That's just....awesome.

[Lilllabettt]

[quote name='Sternhauser' date='04 October 2009 - 03:53 PM' timestamp='1254682381' post='1977422']
One of the best homilies I ever heard was one sentence long, and came during a homily which was interrupted by the loud crying of a child. After the crying subsided, the priest said, "I love to hear crying babies at Mass, because it stings the conscience of those contracepting couples who selfishly refuse to have children."

~Sternhauser
[/quote]


This is brilliance. +1 for you.

[Archaeology cat]

[quote name='aalpha1989' date='04 October 2009 - 07:47 PM' timestamp='1254682022' post='1977414']
I think it's important to note that pre-rationals haven't always attended Mass, and really have no Sunday obligation. It's a strange anomaly that parents of today insist on keeping their disruptive children in the church during liturgies, which does no good for anyone in the church (their kids included).
[/quote]
While I fully understand that children under the age of reason do not have to attend Mass, I do personally think it's important. For one, if they aren't attending, that means the parents are going to separate Masses, which, IMHO, is not ideal. My husband and I have been attending different Masses lately because he plays music at one, and, with my pregnancy, I end up absolutely needing to eat during the time of that one if I don't want to feel worse than I normally do; it's not an ideal situation, IMHO, and I can't imagine that being the norm for us for years to come, since we'll have small children, God willing, for years to come. And in my personal, limited, experience, children tend to become less disruptive if going to Mass is seen as a regular activity. I know my son became much less disruptive when I started taking him to daily Mass (I know this isn't possible for many parents due to various schedules and such, and wasn't possible for me much of the time until we moved closer to a parish).

[quote name='Sternhauser' date='04 October 2009 - 07:53 PM' timestamp='1254682381' post='1977422']
One of the best homilies I ever heard was one sentence long, and came during a homily which was interrupted by the loud crying of a child. After the crying subsided, the priest said, "I love to hear crying babies at Mass, because it stings the conscience of those contracepting couples who selfishly refuse to have children."

~Sternhauser
[/quote]
That is awesome.

[MIKolbe]

[quote name='aalpha1989' date='04 October 2009 - 12:47 PM' timestamp='1254682022' post='1977414']
I can't speak for the actions of this priest. I wasn't present, and I don't know whether he was uncharitable or not.

I can say with certainty, though, that it is an act of charity for parents to leave the church with their children if the children are truly disruptive. Priests shouldn't have to get involved, they should be able to continue with the flow of the Mass, and parents should ensure that by going to the vestibule or wherever. At Mass today the priest (he was a visiting priest, I'd never seen him before) said at the beginning of his sermon, "I'd like to tell you that when I preach we follow the six second rule; if your child is loud for more than six seconds, please take them out of the church." I thought that was good of the priest. He was kind but firm (which is meekness). He cared for the spiritual welfare of the parish, because loud children really can be distracting, and he wanted the flock to be able to concentrate.

I think it's important to note that pre-rationals haven't always attended Mass, and really have no Sunday obligation. It's a strange anomaly that parents of today insist on keeping their disruptive children in the church during liturgies, which does no good for anyone in the church (their kids included).
[/quote]
When my child is acting up, I have to say I am doing what I can to calm her down (bottle, extra love, binky, blankie) I am really not counting to 6. LOL.. That request seems laughable, IMHO; spoken by someone who has limited experience trying to calm an upset baby.

That said, I have left Mass to go outside to calm my daughter down. Today was a bit humorous as Addison 'discovered' the harmonic quality of our Church and how her voice can carry.

There are times it is a hard call whether to leave or not. cause..they..could..stop..at...any..moment! lol In our old parish, Shea decided it was time for Peyton and her to go outside, so she stood with her to walk out. Upon standing up, Peyton stopped and seemed at total peace; so Shea sat down. Boy was that the wrong thing to do. She stood up again to leave, and Peyton stopped again, but she proceeded outside anyway.

As for pre-rationals and Sunday obligation: that argument is rather flat footed and dim. I do not bring my daughters to Mass so they fulfill their obligations; I know quite well they have no obligation to fulfill. I bring them to be in the presence of God; to teach them how to worship; and to worship as a family; to stand before God and show him that my family loves him.


The Gospel reading today (the part in brackets in my misselette) seem quite aprospros today.

[CatherineM]

Our priest stopped in the middle of his homily today to ask everyone to look at their watches and synchronize them, because it was 10:20, not 10:00. I couldn't figure out why until I noticed some people just getting to mass. I'm glad it wasn't me.

[Lilllabettt]

[quote name='MIkolbe' date='04 October 2009 - 04:18 PM' timestamp='1254683932' post='1977440']


The Gospel reading today (the part in brackets in my misselette) seem quite aprospros today.
[/quote]


Seriously. "Let the little children come to me."

If I were the priest in this thread, I might have been embarassed to read that one out loud.

[Archaeology cat]

[quote name='MIkolbe' date='04 October 2009 - 08:18 PM' timestamp='1254683932' post='1977440']
When my child is acting up, I have to say I am doing what I can to calm her down (bottle, extra love, binky, blankie) I am really not counting to 6. LOL.. That request seems laughable, IMHO; spoken by someone who has limited experience trying to calm an upset baby.

That said, I have left Mass to go outside to calm my daughter down. Today was a bit humorous as Addison 'discovered' the harmonic quality of our Church and how her voice can carry.

There are times it is a hard call whether to leave or not. cause..they..could..stop..at...any..moment! lol In our old parish, Shea decided it was time for Peyton and her to go outside, so she stood with her to walk out. Upon standing up, Peyton stopped and seemed at total peace; so Shea sat down. Boy was that the wrong thing to do. She stood up again to leave, and Peyton stopped again, but she proceeded outside anyway.

As for pre-rationals and Sunday obligation: that argument is rather flat footed and dim. I do not bring my daughters to Mass so they fulfill their obligations; I know quite well they have no obligation to fulfill. I bring them to be in the presence of God; to teach them how to worship; and to worship as a family; to stand before God and show him that my family loves him.


The Gospel reading today (the part in brackets in my misselette) seem quite aprospros today.
[/quote]
Agreed on all counts. Oh, and speaking of children discovering the acoustics, Kieran discovered the great acoustics at the Cathedral on the Feast of Christ the King. The Cathedral is dedicated to Christ the King, so it was a huge crowd there. He wasn't crying, just, um, joining in the chant.