About Being Single...

[MarysLittleFlower]

I just wanted to check my understanding of the Church's teaching :)

 

I see that there are Saints and others who were not called to religious life or marriage, but let's say to a third order, and living in the world, or serving the Church somehow...

 

Am I correct that all are called to give themselves to another in some way, (like to God only or to a spouse as well), and some are called to earthly marriage, some to give themselves fully to God either in religious life or another form of consecration ?

 

So is being single for that reason, a vocation? why do people say it's not? do they mean JUST being single, not using it to serve God and the Church somehow, like through being a consecrated single?

 

maybe I'm getting somethng wrong, I don't know :)

 

thanks!

[BarbTherese]

I just wanted to check my understanding of the Church's teaching :)

 

I see that there are Saints and others who were not called to religious life or marriage, but let's say to a third order, and living in the world, or serving the Church somehow...

 

Am I correct that all are called to give themselves to another in some way, (like to God only or to a spouse as well), and some are called to earthly marriage, some to give themselves fully to God either in religious life or another form of consecration ?

 

So is being single for that reason, a vocation? why do people say it's not? do they mean JUST being single, not using it to serve God and the Church somehow, like through being a consecrated single?

 

maybe I'm getting somethng wrong, I don't know :)

 

thanks!

 

For many years indeed in The Church (certainly pre VII) a vocation per se was regarded as only to the priesthood or religious life.  Marriage arrived rather late on the scene.  Single life, or lay celibacy, still struggles to be recognized by some as a vocation per se - although it is far more widely recognized than it once was and most diocesan websites nowadays do feature lay celibacy ('single life') as a potential vocation and call from God.  Since Vatican II, Baptism is clearly recognized as a vocation on which all other further calls or vocations are built.  When baptized as a baby, we are chosen and marked out for service of The Lord and gradually grow into a deeper understanding of what this means and a lifelong journey

 

A vocation (from Latin "vocare" meaning "to call") is always a call to serve The Lord and His Gospel in some way or "for the sake of The Kingdom" and no matter how that service is lived out for the lay celibate in the secular world, whether one is called to some lay institution (Third Order etc etc) or other in The Church, or whether one is not so called.

 

For any person considering lay celibacy as their vocation in life, I would really strongly advise spiritual direction and on an ongoing basis.  Lay celibacy is probably not the most common of vocations and might even be relatively rare.  Discerning asks spiritual direction.

 

To choose lay celibacy for quite selfish reasons unrelated to serving The Lord and His Gospel/"for the sake of The Kingdom" is not a vocation since God would never call a person to live selfishly, absolutely impossible since it would be a call to live sinfully.  In fact selfishness in the context of vocation in The Church is a complete contradiction in terms since a vocation per se means to give oneself to others in some way and in service - and for love of God.

 

Catholic Catechism: 1852 There are a great many kinds of sins. Scripture provides several lists of them. The Letter to the Galatians contrasts the works of the flesh with the fruit of the Spirit: "Now the works of the flesh are plain: fornication, impurity, licentiousness, idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, anger, selfishness, dissension, factions, envy, drunkenness, carousing, and the like. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things shall not inherit the Kingdom of God."¹²⁷

Edited March 13, 2013 by BarbaraTherese

[maximillion]

There is a difference (vast) between being single as a state one is in because not either married or pursuing a consecrated life, (i.e., as a state one is in PRIOR to either of these), and in being CALLED to the single state as an ongoing condition, a vocation.

 

So, single as the default state is not a vocation, it is just the state one happens to be in at the moment (presumably because of not having yet discerned what He is calling one to).

Deciding that one has an actual vocation to the single consecrated life is something different, a specific and unique calling.

[BarbTherese]

Just a very small point.

There is no such thing in The Church as a "consecrated single" (as a term or state in The Church) other than that consecration which is entirely private either by private vows to the evangelical counsels, or a quite secret consecration of self in one's heart. What are we called then? We are simply committed celibate lay people.  It is a wonderful Grace and gift to be celibate in any role in The Church, including the laity.  The Church values immensely all forms of celibacy for "the sake of The Kingdom", committed entirely and absolutely at all times to Jesus and His Gospel and potentially outside of any spiritual organization/community within The Church.

To my way of thinking, the celibate lay state (or the single life, which is a cultural term only) and as a vocation per se to which one is called by The Lord is a hidden way of life and a call to be a certain sort of person and at all times 24 x 7 x 365, not to do certain things i.e. assume a certain role in The Church - other than one is a celibate lay person called to the secular state in life, committed to Jesus and His Gospel entirely and fully. For the committed lay celibate person, the duties of their vocation will be dictated by their ordinary way of life in the secular community - from the most everyday, mundane and ordinary duties to the most important if one's secular life embraces the latter in both Church and/or secular terms.

 

To distinguish between the "consecrated state" and "consecrated state" IS a term The Church uses, and those that are privately consecrated in some way, it has been put forward by some that "dedicated state" might be a term to distinguish between the two; however, this has not been stated by The Church officially.  To my mind, the less fuss and bother on an offical Church level around the committed lay celibate vocation as vocation per se, the better!  The committed lay celibate state as a vocation per se is today far more widely known in The Church than ever before in modern times and this is very important.  However, the celibate lay state was a potential call and vocation in The Church from the beginnings of our history.  To be celibate is not a Grace and gift that is the most common in The Church, no matter one's role in The Church including the lay role.

 

 Personally, I will always strive to underscore that the committed lay celibate state with the call to secular life - and potentially outside of any organization within The Church - can be and is a potential call and vocation from The Lord and completely in line with Church teaching.  It is not for everyone, I know, "The Spirit blows where He Will" and indeed disperses His Gifts and Graces as He May and very often, I know personally, to the most unworthy of all.  I have read numerous times "God does not call the qualified, He qualifies the called" and it is a lifelong journey all the way, completed only in Heaven.

[Kateri89]

If I'm not mistaken, St. Kateri and other saints made perpetual vows of virginity and served God in that way.  I don't know if it's a rare vocation or if it's just something so uncommon that most people don't even consider it when discerning their true vocation.  But I'm sure that it is a vocation.

[BarbTherese]

If I'm not mistaken, St. Kateri and other saints made perpetual vows of virginity and served God in that way.  I don't know if it's a rare vocation or if it's just something so uncommon that most people don't even consider it when discerning their true vocation.  But I'm sure that it is a vocation.

 

Thank you, SrK.  There is a thread in process at the moment on CA about the lay celibate (single) vocation per se and some that disagree that it is potentially a vocation at all.  Vita Consecrata (The Consecrated Life) does underscore that one need not make vows in order to embrace the lay celibate state "for the sake of The Kingdom".  Lumen Gentium mentions the same.  It can be a quite and total secret matter in one's own heart.   I am racing against the clock just now but will try to remember to return and quote with link.

 

 I do think that probably those that disagree that it is potentially a vocation do not fully understand what The Church has and is stating about lay celibacy.  On some matters complex, The Church can be difficult to understand unless one makes understanding one's focus and commitment. I am in the (at times) very fortunate position of living alone and officially retired and so any free time can be given to whatever might have my focus in The Church.  Being given this computer and internet is the most outstanding and marvellous gift of The Lord for researching Catholic matters. Research is now a far more speedy, outstandingly speedy, and very cheap, the cheapest, matter than ever before.  Deo Gratius!  I read somewhere that after every single Council in The Church there has been years of unrest and disagreement in The Church about what The Council actually stated - and our history has repeated with our now post Vatican II years, which Council did bring into focus the lay state and the committed lay celibate state...........if lay celibacy as vocation was handled rather gingerly in places here and there in Church documents sufficient to give Church approval without shining very bright spotlights on that approval - as it were :)

 

I do agree that most would not 'have it on their list' as a potential vocation in life for discernment, although it seems to me that times are changing and it is probably nowadays more recognized as a potential vocation.  What might prevent actual discerning is the fact that in Catholic probably traditional circles there is so much disagreement about it and today one would be embracing a vocation that can be a source of much disagreement.

There is also a paucity of information about what the vocation actually entails in a succinct form.  There is plenty of information however, an absolute wealth of information, in Vatican documents and I think one needs to read these documents and then apply the to one's own lay celibate vocation if present.   And my thoughts are .......... always with ongoing spiritual direction, always.

 

There does seem to be a sense around the place as it were that the lay celibate vocation is an opting for an easy way of life.  It has its easy moments as with any vocation, but any sort of commitment to The Lord is very serious and one is very very wise to take it very seriously and "to work out your own salvation in fear and trembling".  If I embrace the lay celibate vocation as my vocation in life, then I have quite serious responsibilities and accountabilities re my vocation and to The God of Heaven and earth, to Jesus and His Gospel - and in that to His Church, and for my way of life.  I dont quite understand why there is generally afoot a sense that one has to have some human Church or secular type authority figure breathing down one's neck to live responsibly, very responsibly and "for the sake of The Kingdom" all the way in every moment of every day.

Edited March 17, 2013 by BarbaraTherese

[BarbTherese]

Barbara Therese said:

Thank you, SrK. There is a thread in process at the moment on CA about the lay celibate (single) vocation per se and some that disagree that it is potentially a vocation at all. Vita Consecrata (The Consecrated Life) does underscore that one need not make vows in order to embrace the lay celibate state "for the sake of The Kingdom". Lumen Gentium mentions the same. It can be a quite and total secret matter in one's own heart. I am racing against the clock just now but will try to remember to return and quote with link.

.................edit..............."

 

This link to Catholic Answers "Vocations Forum" post will give the Church Documents and relevant links http://forums.catholic.com/showpost.php?p=10496509&postcount=22

......and a couple of other links as well.

 

[BarbTherese]

This link might be of general interest as well and gives the not-so-distant past history of "vocation" per se in Catholic cultural life:

 

http://www.crossroadsinitiative.com/...d_Mission.html

 

"Called and Consecrated - So Who has a Vocation?"

(Crossroads Intitiative is a highly recommended sound Catholic resource site in line with Church teaching - see Catholic Culture review HERE )

"When I was growing up, we were urged to pray for vocations. That meant to pray for more priests and nuns. After all, they were the ones especially called by God. The rest of us had to figure out for ourselves what to do with our lives, what school to go to, who to marry, what job to get.

This was a misunderstanding that the Second Vatican Council was determined to clear up.

It (Vatican II)emphasized what this Sunday’s second reading from St. Paul makes clear – that all Christians have a vocation (Lumen Gentium, chapter 5). The very first call we have is not so much to do something, but to be something. Each one of us is called to be holy. And holiness is not to be identified with any particular state in life. Whether we are students, full-time moms, nurses or bishops, our daily activities furnish us with plenty of opportunities to grow in faith, hope and love (see my note below). It is the perfection of these three virtues that make for true sanctity. Of course, there are many students, moms, nurses and bishops who fail to become saints. Obviously then, the activities are not enough in themselves to make people holy. People have to make a conscious decision not just once but each and every day to surrender themselves, their wills and their lives to God and allow Him, the potter, to use their everyday activities to shape them as if they were clay in His skilled hands.

When we are baptized, we receive that call to holiness. From that moment, our life is no longer our own. “It is no longer I who live,” says Saint Paul, “but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God who loved me and gave his life for me (Gal 2:19b-20).” Like Samuel (I Sam 3), we are dedicated wholly to God, set apart to glorify Him in every aspect of our being, including our bodies. His Spirit lives within us and so we become God’s dwelling place and acquire a new dignity...."....more on above link

 

Faith, Hope and Charity are the three theological virtues gifted at Baptism.  Crossroads Initiative incidentally is a highly regarded source of sound Catholic teaching and comes highly recommended on Catholic Culture website.