The Thread Of Shocking Revelations

[IgnatiusofLoyola]

[quote name='JTheresa' timestamp='1283433799' post='2166915']
Nihil is currently dating my pet unicorn because it f[i]a[/i]rts glitter.

[/quote]

Nihil may currently be dating your pet unicorn, but I bet he has told it that he loves it "platonically."

Nihil is what is frequently refered to as "squirrelly." However, being the age he is, he is too young for matrimony, and we don't want to encourage concupisicence. So, "squirrelly" may not be a bad thing.

Note to Nihil--Telling a woman you love her platonically is pretty high on the "insults to females" list. Essentially, you are telling her you love her the way you love your sister and your dog. Only one worse is, "Have you gained some weight?" Nihil, you are highly intelligent, but as so many of your subspecies are, you are clueless.

A woman has only two recourses. Wait until the subspecies grows up, which is iffy. Some don't grow up. Others become priests. I waited for my ex, and look what I got in the husband lottery. However, I know many women who have followed this course with success.

Or, move on, and find an older member of the intelligent but clueless subspecies who just recently woke up from his coma and realized you were a woman.

Beating the subspecies to a pulp is satisfying, but does not result in the subspecies coming to its senses.

I swear, Phatmass needs an "Agony Aunt". And, if you don't know what that is--Google it. (Obscure out-of-date references are my Latin.)

Edited September 2, 2010 by IgnatiusofLoyola

[Nihil Obstat]

[Moosey]

[quote name='IgnatiusofLoyola' timestamp='1283459315' post='2167126']
Nihil may currently be dating your pet unicorn, but I bet he has told it that he loves it "platonically."

Nihil is what is frequently refered to as "squirrelly." However, being the age he is, he is too young for matrimony, and we don't want to encourage concupisicence. So, "squirrelly" may not be a bad thing.

Note to Nihil--Telling a woman you love her platonically is pretty high on the "insults to females" list. Essentially, you are telling her you love her the way you love your sister and your dog. Only one worse is, "Have you gained some weight?" Nihil, you are highly intelligent, but as so many of your subspecies are, you are clueless.

A woman has only two recourses. Wait until the subspecies grows up, which is iffy. Some don't grow up. Others become priests. I waited for my ex, and look what I got in the husband lottery. However, I know many women who have followed this course with success.

Or, move on, and find an older member of the intelligent but clueless subspecies who just recently woke up from his coma and realized you were a woman.

Beating the subspecies to a pulp is satisfying, but does not result in the subspecies coming to its senses.

I swear, Phatmass needs an "Agony Aunt". And, if you don't know what that is--Google it. (Obscure out-of-date references are my Latin.)
[/quote]


Amen Iggy! Preach it!

[Marie-Therese]

That's it. From now on, Nihil's new name is "squirrelly."
Awesome, Iggy.


Edited for throwback emo code that no longer works.

Edited September 2, 2010 by Marie-Therese

[IgnatiusofLoyola]

[quote name='Moosey' timestamp='1283460847' post='2167154']
Amen Iggy! Preach it!
[/quote]

Ever since Nihil posted that pretty kitten picture that said "I wuv you," with that "platonically, of course" underneath it, I have been wanting to beat him upside the head for his stupidity--for his own good, and in total love.

My doctor forbids me to hit anyone, so I have to send in my "secret weapon."

If she'd agree to it (which she wouldn't), I'd send my 20-year old niece to "talk" (rhymes with "knock") some sense into him. She has inherited my intelligence (well, mine and that of a few family members combined), along with an incredibly strong pitching arm (from someone). She speaks fluent Latin, so can speak to Nihil in language he can understand. If he does not understand, she has my permission to hit him, preferably with a softball in her hand. She pitches only 60 mph, but that still hurts mighty bad, especially from a distance of 5-10 feet. She can still beat up her 6-foot-tall younger brother, who is a new recruit to the football team at Berkeley.

She attends the University of Chicago, so she understands the "male intelligent clueless" subspecies firsthand, since basically, every male at her school meets that criteria. She has lived in Canada so she is fluent in Canadian, as well as Latin.

If it weren't for the fact that she still calls me "Auntie," and wears her hair in a long blond braid down her back, I'd be scared to death of her.

Edited September 2, 2010 by IgnatiusofLoyola

[Nihil Obstat]

Moosey would get mad if I didn't add "platonically".

Your niece sounds nice. Is she single?

[Marie-Therese]

[quote name='Nihil Obstat' timestamp='1283463383' post='2167176']
Moosey would get mad if I didn't add "platonically".

Your niece sounds nice. Is she single?
[/quote]

Hey, now...don't forget that you are already betrothed to my daughter. It's a done deal.

[JTheresa]

[quote name='IgnatiusofLoyola' timestamp='1283459315' post='2167126']
Nihil may currently be dating your pet unicorn, but I bet he has told it that he loves it "platonically."

Nihil is what is frequently refered to as "squirrelly." However, being the age he is, he is too young for matrimony, and we don't want to encourage concupisicence. So, "squirrelly" may not be a bad thing.

Note to Nihil--Telling a woman you love her platonically is pretty high on the "insults to females" list. Essentially, you are telling her you love her the way you love your sister and your dog. Only one worse is, "Have you gained some weight?" Nihil, you are highly intelligent, but as so many of your subspecies are, you are clueless.

A woman has only two recourses. Wait until the subspecies grows up, which is iffy. Some don't grow up. Others become priests. I waited for my ex, and look what I got in the husband lottery. However, I know many women who have followed this course with success.

Or, move on, and find an older member of the intelligent but clueless subspecies who just recently woke up from his coma and realized you were a woman.

Beating the subspecies to a pulp is satisfying, but does not result in the subspecies coming to its senses.

I swear, Phatmass needs an "Agony Aunt". And, if you don't know what that is--Google it. (Obscure out-of-date references are my Latin.)
[/quote]

:rolling: that was great Iggy!!

So now it can be understood the Nihil is actually a squirrel (though he refuses to admit it) that is currently dating my pet unicorn, even though he is chasing Iggys nice while he is betrothed to Marie-Therese's daughter.

[Moosey]

[quote name='Nihil Obstat' timestamp='1283463383' post='2167176']
Moosey would get mad if I didn't add "platonically".

Your niece sounds nice. Is she single?
[/quote]
I would indeed.

I was thinking that the whole time I read Iggy's post! She sounds like your dream girl!

[quote name='JTheresa' timestamp='1283464234' post='2167185']
:rolling: that was great Iggy!!

So now it can be understood the Nihil is actually a squirrel (though he refuses to admit it) that is currently dating my pet unicorn, even though he is chasing Iggys nice while he is betrothed to Marie-Therese's daughter.


[/quote]
Who also has very little association with Moosey. You're catching on Thats very good.

[IgnatiusofLoyola]

[quote name='Nihil Obstat' timestamp='1283463383' post='2167176']
Moosey would get mad if I didn't add "platonically". [/quote]

I'm not entirely sure I believe that. But, it would have to be in private (not on a public board), and you would have to mean it. Hmm, considering your poor track record, Moosey probably would get mad. (She's a wise woman.)
[quote] Your niece sounds nice. Is she single?
[/quote]

As far as I know, she is single. And, surprisingly, despite my description, she is incredibly nice. (My sister still isn't sure what she did right--both her kids are truly nice.) I suspect, however, that my niece would think you weren't good enough for her. You might have to put out some effort--heaven forbid!

[quote name='Marie-Therese' timestamp='1283463707' post='2167177']
Hey, now...don't forget that you are already betrothed to my daughter. It's a done deal.
[/quote]

The rate he is progressing, Nihil should come out of his coma right about the time your daughter is ready for marriage. That may just work.

Edited September 2, 2010 by IgnatiusofLoyola

[Moosey]

[quote name='IgnatiusofLoyola' timestamp='1283465661' post='2167194']
I'm not entirely sure I believe that. But, it would have to be in private (not on a public board), and you would have to mean it. Hmm, considering your track record, Moosey probably would get mad.


As far as I know, she is single. And, surprisingly, despite my description, she is incredibly nice. (My sister still isn't sure what she did right--both her kids are truly nice.) I suspect, however, that my niece would think you weren't good enough for her. You might have to put out some effort--heaven forbid!



The rate he is progressing, Nihil should come out of his coma right about the time your daughter is ready for marriage. That may just work.
[/quote]
Joe, Iggy's is thrashing you

Edited September 2, 2010 by Moosey

[Nihil Obstat]

[quote name='Marie-Therese' timestamp='1283463707' post='2167177']
Hey, now...don't forget that you are already betrothed to my daughter. It's a done deal.
[/quote]
Almost forgot that part. This will work better, I think the reception would be tons of fun. ^_^

I vote that Iggy makes the first toast.

[Moosey]

Is this considered a shocking revelation?

[Nihil Obstat]

[quote name='Moosey' timestamp='1283467405' post='2167209']
Is this considered a shocking revelation?
[/quote]
Pretty shocking, considering how young her daughter is.

[Laudate_Dominum]

Moosey is all kinds of awesome.